Guess wad's the big news so far? HA! Haven't been blogging for a few days, craving for more info bout my recent happenings? Ha! I finally got the strength to blog now...
Went for NP's netball training the other day, sweated a lot. I dunnoe but probably i was too tired or wad, i didn't really find it fun in any sense, but, it did had an effect on my body. Ting enjoyed it a lot i think. Well, joining the team? That's another question. Thursay is, afterall, my long day. Well, for now, CCA is not vital to my life at all, i think i'll just push it to aside, for a moment.
I got back 3 out of the 4 papers. Sad to say, i got 2 Ds, and an A... It kind of dampen my spirit a little. Not that i wanna compare, but D wasn't really in my Dictionary before... Really sad bout it but then, there's nothing much a can really do anymore. From now on, i'm gonna concentrate more than i play. No more meeting up with friends or Uncle Darling for no reason from now on. Never have i expect that it would be so difficult. So, i looked around again, who's really having a tough time to cope with Poly life? I'd raised my hand up high and be the 1st to have the evidence. HA! Anyway, life goes on still but with double the effort put in. Pressurized? VERY! EXTREMELY! Sometimes, i dun really wish to see any of my old friends coz everytime i heard bout how well they are doing, or how easy their lives are or just for the fact that they're coping well enough, i feel pressured, dampened, offended and most of all, disappointed in myself. The irony of this is, i still wanna see them, coz basically, they are still the best people i ever know. Hai...
Anyway, it's really me, myself and i coz i know i dun really have any help anymore, and the people in my class are all very competitive, so, well, give myself some patting on the shoulder and telling myself to "Jia You.." :)
Really tired bout every single thing that is happening, sometimes, smses just doesn't stop, phone calls never ends, e-mails don't halt, things just keep coming and coming, and sometimes, i dun seem to be able to breathe the normal air that goes into my lungs anymore, probably i'm taking in too much that my lungs can't handle, but i cannot be selfish to my lungs, to my body, that's wad i need for survival, right? Ya, can u relate it at all? Hai... Wadever...
I had a tough Friday... It's so hard to get by... After the netball training on thurs evening, followed by the rushing of my ITR e-learning assignment, i was finally able to concuss till the next day. However, i went over... I'm supposed to be awake by 6am, out of the house by 7am but i only woke up at 7.30am. I didn't hear any alarm ringing nor the ringtone of my phone. I was really in a concussion state. I rushed myself out of the house and got a Cab down to NP. I was damn tired... Excuse for not training, blisters splitting apart, cannot tahan. But in the end, still trained. Ran around the track for another 2 rounds... Sweated again, like nobody's business... I was glad CATS lesson went by swiftly and left school after slotting the ITR assignment into Miss Eunice pigeon hole. Got my fruits and off i went back for my sleep. Again, concussed... Practically have a great sleep but then gotta work up coz of work.
Ate swesens with Yuting, which she would like to put it as "my fault", and got my ice mountain from Uncle Darling and left for work. Rushed the way there and went up in time for briefing. I was kind of hoping to work with Melissa but sadly she was posted to work in Rosewood. Ha! Chris put me in a team which lacks a guy runner... damn... I "thank" my Honey for that. WAd's worse, it's Yihua's station... I jitao sian lah... Bad beginning for it all. However, it was a good thing that i was partnered with Si En... And i had Dong Ming right beside me... Hee~ Y i say good? Coz i know Si En is the type who'll work fast and Dong Ming?! He's a real nice Chap who Jessica and i had doubts bringing him into the hotel when he 1st came but we did and he is quite a great worker and someone who i pretty much have fun talking to. So, we helped each other a lot along the way. Nice to have him by our side. Having been absent in dinners like this for a while already and also from being a runner, it's so hard to maintain that pace. I told myself that i can do it so i did everything really fast and of coz, with the coordination of Si En, we were one of the faster to get things done and all. However, nearing the end of the event, my legs were giving in, i can feel the nerves straining, pulling each other, not letting either budge... Started to limp a little, so i told Si En sorry that i'm a bit slow... However, we got everything done nicely, without any complaints or wadsoever, and i evem helped to serve other tables... HA! Cool right?! HA! I'm glad there's a bunch of people who i know and i wun be shy screaming and shouting at... HA! But it's all fun, i dun mean any harm and they know it. If wad i did were considered harm, u wun wanna know wad they do to torture u... HA! ANyway, i decided to stop working from now on, i really cannot take so many things at once, i need to start planning my time properly. The passion for service carries on in my Course, it's short-lifed in Banquet, unless they needs help badly, i will not walk in there to work for a while. Pardon me for that, pple. Not being heartless in any way, nevertheless, i wanna quit torturing myself.
Saturday morning, woke up thinking there's nothing going on so i turned off all my alarms but suddenly, something shocked myself, there's MIEC make-up lesson at 10am. Dragged myself out of bed and left to school. Met Ju Chi on the bus, kind of complained a little to her bout my tiredness, though we aren't close but heh, she's almost like my 61 bus mate... HAHA!!! She's my classmate btw. Hee~ End of the ride, realised Mathew Pon was on the same bus as us... HA! Kind of said hi to him too.. He's our MIEC tutor(the one responsible for a Sat class)... HA! Anyway, walked with him and Jiawen to the room. Ya, so the lesson went by like that... Seems like my group was the only one who prepared the slides, the rest didn't... Ha! Doesn't matter i guess... The tutorial ended and went to wait for bus... K, it was really awkward on the bus coz Mathew Pon was on it with me, and we sat beside each other... So weird... Imagine lah... Trying to talk to him in a sensible way... Like a tutor to student convo?! HA! And think his wife called and he was talking to his daughter in such a not-my-tutor sort of voice... HAHA!!! Another side of human being? YeAh! Anyway, said bye to him after reaching interchange...
Went to get my fruits when i thought of Dear... So called her... While talking to her, was pacing outside VK... HAHA!!! VK was so packed today... Busy guys... Poor darling... He looked so tired... Saw them standing, cutting, washing and on and on all the way till 5plus when i left the place... So cham lah... Anyway, Dear came to have lunch with me before she went to work. Acutally, i'm supposed to work too but ermm... My muscles are really aching... U can hear me go, "aRr...." while sitting down... Shit... HA! Anyway, back home at 6pm and i fell asleep with the mag i bought. Woke up at 7plus... Watched TV all the way... HAHA!!! Really cannot make it lah... I feel like i'm dying soon.. HA!
Well, i'm gonna spend tomorrow morning, afternoon doing my tutorials for next week and anticipate the arrival of the night... Hee~
The way i'm leading this life is taking a big toll on my mind, my body and my heart. Now that i've gave everything a good thought, i supposed it will be another fresh beginning... I may not be that nice Apple or Ai Ping i used to be, allow me to be stubborn and selfish sometimes, allow me to be mean and be a little ignorant but know that i know wad i'm doing, and that i understand how u feel when i do that to u but please give me that access coz i'm tired of being the nice person...
I'm glad i found Eddie... In some ways, he can make me smile when i'm feeling really down... And he has his own unique sense of humour which brings my jaw to the ground. Still, it's only the start, hope it'll survive... :) Where? What? How? I also dunnoe... He just make things happen... Thanks Darling...
As you can see... It's yet another battle in my life...
It seems like I can't win this war... Holding on to that faith... Bearing hope in this game of life... Until my last breathe has been taken, I will be strong...
No comments:
Post a Comment