Monday, October 31, 2005

Tomorrow!!!! *trEmblinG*

Ming tain jiu shi hua wen hui kao le... Ermm... Translation ---> It's CL O level tomorrow... Ermm.. I am looking forward to it, wanting to know wad are the qns and also give my best shot at it.

Ermm... Just so you know, i am a little bit messed up now... I need to re-schedule my plan again... Hai... Always like that...

Why am I thinking of you at this point of time? Leave my thoughts immediately!

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Madness

Ermm... Completed 3 years of words... Hai... 3 YeARS! That's a lot, still got one more year de... Gosh, it's tough going through this so many times.

My mind evolves round studies, food, tv and com. That's bout it for the past week... Gosh, a little inhumane... Am i going back to the barbarian age? Hee~ Certainly not, afterall, barbarians dun study from books. I do, advanced state of barbarians... HahA! See, i'm going crazy after all the intense stress from studies... Hee~ Dun mind me... PLease... If not, u'll be like me...

Ermm... I dun wanna write anymore, wanna have an early night and wake up early tml... Pple, wish me luck for Monday's official retake of Chinese O level paper... LalAla!

It's time for the showdown...

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Untitled

Ermm... Woke up pretty early today for EL mock... Wah... Really, haven't really sitted down for so long to do one thing that seriously. Somehow, the atmosphere in school is absolutely different at home. Worlds apart!

Anyway, after school, went back home, a bit disconnected liao, i can bearly open my eyes but then still gotta go for the jab, now i know the spelling of it liao, called "Tyhoid" Ermm... The jab was not painful but then Terry Goh hit it! Wah lao, i ji tao wake up for that moment.

After much pondering, i decided to go home, sian... Stone there for around 1/2 an hour and finally decided. Ok, it's a very awkward situation, me, not working, sitting in the office, and stare into the thin air. Kind of awkward, so i decided to leave.

Back to Westmall, i'm still thinking wad should i buy for Skinny, but hai... Nothing really suit him, so difficult to find a present for a guy like him... Ok, at that point of time, i still wanted to go for the very late KTV, but after reaching home, HA, lazy nerves came out, so i lay down there, paralysed. Hee~ K, at 10, i was seriously thinking bout it, but papa at home liao, i knew i can't go out le, mama came back, i asked her, and she say nononono but still allow me to... HAHA! Well, but too bad lah, the trip too long liao, 1st, must wait for 947, then 174... Gave up, msged skinny and said no but promised to make it for him... No PrOb!

Now, after a cool bath, not feeling so sleepy le. Later, see how, will go study a bit. Ermm... Along the way back, chatted with Xueting, hee~ Coz it's just too boring on the bus and we talked a lot... Mostly studies... ermm... She got everything prioritised well... Good Plan...

As for me, ermm... Well, after this vexing day, other days will be better off... I dun have to stress bout going to here and there or backing my words or wadsoever, can stay at home or go round walk walk... hee~

Ermm... Last night i couldn't sleep, up till 3plus i'm still wide awake. 2am, and i got up and study. Then, i started to pour out my feelings inside my personal diary... Ermm... A lot of it... Untold of here and wun be told... Then, i read backwards and realised 4 names came out a lot of times.... The most, "Xueting and Yuting" HAHA! I started writing when i'm in Sec.1, and i've known them since that time, so nothing to be surprise bout. The other 2 names shall remain anonymous for the time being...

Ermm... "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" Do you agree? Definitely so for me... Something or somebody might be beautiful to me but not you. "Beauty is in the way you perceive it", cool? YeAh...

Wad happened in the hotel today? I saw Wu YAng... Hee~ She's going for the clothes thingy, haha, good thing i never go... HA! Ok, very bad of me... Shh.... ANYWAY, STUDIES more important!!! HEe~ Not an excuse, that's a fact.

Saw Terry Goh, ermm... He said he's very tired, can see from his eyes, poor thing... HAHA! Sometimes really dun wanna talk to him, so afraid will start arguing... Dun wanna spoil the whole thing, u see, afterall, he's my good friend de lao DA mah... HeH! you know wad i mean?

Another Terry hit my hat... Hai... Shocked Me... But, there is never once i'm not shocked by anything... Hai... I was even startled by my own mama walking beside me... HAHA!

Ermm... I got driven mad by the 4 unity ones... Almost suffer from hyperthermal under their intense coldness... HAhA! Once in a while, that's the best but not every now and then. I can really see how much yuting suffered in their clan, haha! Saw that unbearable look on her face... HAHA! Poor ThIng...

CiAo!

A new day comes...

Friday, October 28, 2005

SIAN!!!!

Sian.. Nobody going for the JAb... Should i go? SIAN!!!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Another day of studies and pondering...

I got so much to say just now, but after some time out with music, there's nothing much for me to say. HeH! Well, listening to music has always helped me. In many aspects of my life, music helps, really.

Yesterday, i was running a fever... ermm... It just came without my knowing. I just got warmer as the day comes to an end, i sat there, almost paralysed. Lao ma came home and i shouted, "LAo mA! I AM SICK LIAO!!!" She just look at me then turned away, so Tao YAN! Then, i went to have a warm bath, took Panadol and went to bed. 3am, Ziyang called... Haiyo, i find him very funny wor, he always sms and call me at that time of the night when i'd usually be asleep niao. Hee~ But well, back then, we used to chat till that time de nah, so cannot blame. HA!

Anyhow, i woke up this morning and kind of lazed around a little bit then started with CL revision, i admit i'm a bit slow but wad matter is that i did something, so i'm glad. Sometimes, i think i shouldn't pressurized myself too much, just do wad is enough and that's it. Hai... though wad i did was far from enough but nvm, will buck up. Afterall, it's only Chinese. Hee~ (another excuse)

Ermm... Sister seems to have a lot to tell after going back to school and indeed, there's a lot. Some are gossips while some are serious matters. Ermm... The sec 2s spoiled one of our D&T artefact. Wah LAo! SO fucked up lor, wanna take cannot take properly de sia, must spoil one then happy ar! It's O level artefact lor, damn IT! Good thing they didn't spoil mine, arbo i'm gonna take hacksaw(found in workshop) to hack them into 2 pieces!

Cindy said my expectation too high liao, for both studies and guys. However, i dun quite agree, coz she relate it to Desmond Chia which kind of pissed me off a little. 1st, she said bout my CL, i already got an A2 during the 1st shot so y do it again? She said it was coz of my High expectation. Well, frankly speaking, yes it's coz of my high expectation, but well, u can't blame me for that, that has always been my target, and it is so since Sec 1, and since i'm born a chinese, i odd to do well in it. Maybe i might caused some pple to rally against me but for me, CHinese is that important to me. Since we are given another chance to do it, y not? On Desmond Chia, if my expectation was high, i wun choose him, it was damn foolish, i know, and since then, i regretted. Seriously, wad is my expectation like? I dun even know so y talk bout it?! My Ah mah got the criteria set for me, u know? She said, "Next time, when u come out to society, find those that have a stable job, the best are those who fix computers..." And i'm like "fix computers?!" Well, i didn't bother to ask but i got it figured out, coz in the 21st century, computers can never get outdated, so that's the best job... HA! My Ah mah! HAHA!!! Well, that's wad she has for me but in the end, it's still up to me... Ermm... Me.... Hee~ Dun ask, i dunnoe! Complicated neh...

Ok, back to studies, tml neh, will still be revising CL and also try to touch a little on Chem... Hai... Very busy tml and Friday... Must go Jab JaB, then maybe shop ShOp, then KelVin de KTV neh, see 1st bah... Still gotta go school early in the morning so it's gonna be a real tiring day... WAh!!!!

Aiya, dun care, tml study 1st... HeH!

Right here I stand for my time to come but before it does, I'm gonna make everything start.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Words

Deep into that darkness peering, long i stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.
-Edgar Allen Poe-

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Studies Studies Studies

Hai... I only got one week left to complete Chinese revision. Ok, it's kind of hard, but i gotta say this, it seems like there's no time anymore... Listen..

One more week, and i didn't touch any CL thing. I wasted almost 4 days doing nothing. Today, i studied SS and not even a topic is done. When tomorrow comes, i'll need to complete another topic of SS and start my CL. Gosh... Seems like i'm doing so little... And that's all i did... ArGH!!! Still got a whole lot of Chemistry. Though i've done most of the chapters for Physics but i doubt i rmb all... And i haven't touched GEOG!!!

Alright, later, gonna continue SS, complete the whole Governance topic. Fact is, "What makes good governance in Singapore" is a very heavy topic, VERY! "Rise and Fall of Venice" as well... But these 2 are 2 of those that i wanna focus on. Hai... Hopefully, they'll come out.. HOPEFULLY!

Learned something today, dun use the word "Shack" if u r tired, coz that word is usually used after u've make love... HAhA!!!! Verified by Miss Teo( not me but our ENg teacher). HA! Really funny. So i'm worn-out..

Even though i said i am organised last night but seems like wad's plan cannot be done on time so hai...

HAo lah, just wanna do something that's not connected to studies so come here relax a bit.

Ciao!

Monday, October 24, 2005

ENlightened? Just the reality

Trish's blog kind of said something out... Go read it... Saying how pple nowadays are like... On our way to success, we become self-centred... The cause of capitalism? Or just the mindset of pple in the wad we so-called, "better-off century"and "Technological Era"?! Hai... SAd...

Ah Mah came yesterday but i wasn't at home so, feel a bit bad... Coz it's not everyday ah mah and SuSu would come by and chat... HEH!

Had the shock of the week last night too when my ma and her friend showed up there... HEH! But well, just SHOCK!

I remembered, papa once dropped by when i was working... And i was SHOCKED too... I dunnoe y, my parents love to shock me so much... One day, i'm gonna be shocked to HELL! HEH! Dun wan, maybe heaven!

Ermm... I gave myself some sweet intoxication today. i relax at most part of it, and studied a little. Then, i had some sweets, ate ice-cream, had soft drinks.... HEH! SO SWEET! Too sweet... HEH! MAybe i should go run tml... I haven't run for a long time liao.. CHAM... Building up fats... Shitty...

Anyway, i kind of got the week's plan laid out on a notebook. It's nice, i feel safe, well-organised, not messed up.

Btw, i kind of chatted with Miss Ang a bit the other day and i told her quite frankly bout the dos and don'ts when she's teaching... Felt kind of bad after that, coz it's like her effort of trying to be closer to her students are all condemned by me. Well, this is afterall, the last year and, in the long-run, might benefit her teaching career...

Ermm... Gonna go explore a bit then SLeep Sleep liao... CIaO...

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Description of tiredness

Worn-out, tired, drained, beat, tedious, intensely fatigue, hackneyed... SHACk AR!!!!

Nothing much to say, i spend the day out of my house, away from the comfort of my dear dear bed... HA! Y must i torture myself like that?

Hai...

2 persons in need of rest... REALLY rest... WHO?! U should know who i'm talking bout.

Night people, need to sleep liao, tml gotta study, later to be exact... CiAO!

Saturday, October 22, 2005

-Missing-

Wad if someone you've known for a while suddenly disappear? U try to contact him through calls, e-mails, msn and even go to the extend of looking for him at his workplace but you just can't find him. Wad would u do? If he is just a friend, a normal friend but somehow meant something to you, wad would you do?

A few years later, he appeared again... Ermm... Wad will your feelings be like? How will you react to this sudden appearance...

Aiyo... Strange me... Anyway, i read a book and this thought just came to my mind, ermm... I wun know wad to do, if that happens to me, i mighty just smile and walk away, that's wad i always do. HEH hEh!

Anyway, went to get my pay today, it was not a pleasant one... Though the whole trip was rather smooth, i just dun feel well. Maybe the bus bah... Then, no water... HAHA! So i feel rather sick throughout. Saw Bt kor and Cindy... Ermm... I think Bt kor was rather pissed with something, from his all furious and shack look. So i didn't bother... Saw Cindy, swift greetings and that's all. Afterwhich, back to westmall, bought dinner for 2kor and me, and at home, rested...

Well, i didn't do much revision these couple of days, i doubt i will tml... Seriously, dun like to be force to do things but some pple like to force me, and sometimes, out of responsibility or just pure thinking for others, i have to put up with this being-force-to-do job. I wun say it's responsibility bah, sometimes, i should just walk out and dun give a damn bout it. Hai... But, i'm Ai Ping, i dun do that... Sux to be me sometimes...

Whole of this week feels very emotional-only in the night. Dunnoe y, when i'm on the bed and i couldn't sleep, i will think of nothing and that makes me feel like crying Or maybe, something or an image just came to me and i feel like crying. It's weird coz i haven't had any probs recently. I find that it has been pretty calm and quiet throughout coz of studying but y, during the night, tears came to my eyes? Rather weird, i dunnoe y either. Something inside of me being triggered without myself knowing? Or maybe, it's just that time of the month, u know, more temperamental and wad nots... Also, have been having sleeplee nights, should i say, nights when i am asleep but i would wake up in the middle and feel weird. Something is wrong with me, i need some time to clear myself, and find out wad is exactly wrong. Seriously.

Something to comfort myself bout, at least there was a mock today for EL, that touched a bit of my EL and i did read from a novel! So, not bad, still got touch books. HEH! It's purely an excuse for wad i didn't do so just pardon me for that. However, my aim is to complete at least a chapter of SS by the end of the week. And that fulfilled my week!

Next coming week will be more... HA!

Hai... Need to get earpiece... My baby2 de earpiece spoil liao... SAD!!!! CASH IN NEED! HAHA!!!

Another obligation? For god sake! Stop making me feel guilty just because of your own pathetic self! SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!!!! -Anguish-

Friday, October 21, 2005

Is it a good day or BAd?

DAmn... Woke up feeling nauseous this morning... Body feels very weak but still, dragged myself out of bed to complete some of the things that i should rmb. When 10am arrives, felt cold, climb onto the bed, covered myself with blanket, still, holding a book, trying to make myself feel better. Up until i finish bathing, i still felt like vomitting. No choice, still gotta go to school.

Reached school, started talking with Cheryl and Su and then had lunch. It was a plain porrigde, works best for the sick. However, body still felt quite weak. Trying hard to pretend i'm fine, afterall, it's practical exam.

The thing started, was a little bit nervous initially but then, calmed down. Took me roughly 1/2 hr to finish Physics, and the another 1/2 for chem. 3pm, i'm done with both, checking every details. Couldn't test the Salt T again coz i dun have anymore of the salt so i guess i got that part wrong. However, for the rest of it, it's fine. I suppose this wun be as bad as the prelim's. I'm so happy that i was able to do every single one of it. MUHAHA!

Home, Mama is around, she went to the doc for some infections in the eye, but it was minor, so she's back home, resting. But leh, she just can't get her butt down, keep on looking for things to do. HAi... Mama's instinct? Maybe... HA!

Just now, Ting was talking to me bout some practical thing that happened but i wasn't listening, felt bad... I was very distracted by the pain in my stomache... Paiseh woR ting...

Now, i'm feeling very bad... Body's weak, brain tired... K, i'm gonna go take a nap...

CiAo...

That person, he's back...

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

SiGh...

Erm... Still, Science continues... HAI... It's like i know the stuff but then i dunnoe. SaD... Coz all along all of them are very clear, but when i started revising, there are some that i can't understand. Some are just definitions which i understand but need to memorize the words... WORD BY WORD... HAi... Well, 7 chapters of Physics took me 2 days... But that is coz i didn't use all the time wisely bah... So, again, planning needed. Hope time will stand still for a while... DREAM...

One day b4 Science practical, wad else can i do? Ermm... CArry on mugging bah... I'm worried bout my chem sia... Although i know wad's all of it talking bout, when it comes to practical leh, ermm, will get mess up... Hopefully, i will calm down a bit during the real thing...

Heard something from JonI( the cap b4) and he told me something which shock me... I can't believe someone can be so thick-skinned. Upon hearing it, it didn't really agitate me much but just shocked, after that, didn't think till now. Well, i guess time fix everything, that's true.

I was kind of caught in a mess... Well, not very obvious to others but well, it ain't good. Seriously, i need to think better than i did b4. Not to be blinded anymore...

Seems like i got a lot to pour out but i just can't, not here... Somethings are to be kept within, i guess...

Ah mah called today to kind of praised me but it didn't seem to push me to heaven, i just smiled a little. Well, at least i smiled, from the heart. Should visit Ah mah more often. She asked "Y dun wanna go JC?" I'm like "HUh? Mai lah..." Then blanked... HeH... Hai.. Y dun wanna go JC... Coz Stress mah... That's the most basic answer lah, but seriously, it's coz i dunno whether my passion for studies can last that long not. Hai... Well, need to have O level to determine other things.

Right... It's true... Nothing else should be affecting me now... YeAh! It's apple battling her own war... Not with anyone else, but herself... So dun distract her!

I need my time, my space and my way... I'm beginning to miss something... Something just seem wrong....

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

LauGh bAbY lAuGH!

A little late today... Ermm... Been mugging all day. Though all i mugged was Physics but that's my aim. To complete the last few chapters of physics and Chemistry, then, when wed comes, will be starting to focus on Practical, on how to make the right steps at the right time.

HEH! So all day, i'm trapped at home, hee~ Not really lah, it's just that i forced myself to stay at home. Didn't even go buy dinner, cooked instant noodles for myself... It feels good to be home all day. Although the mugging can be a little boring but well, that's wad it's gonna be. O level mah, jia you a bit, complete wad i should and get wad i want.

Hai... I tried very hard not to think bout other things today, just concentrate on mugging, that's y i kind of dozed off a little... HeH! Very chAm... Well, i dun hab my sweets with me so i can't stay awake, very cham, it's a habit, a bad one. After exam, i'll be really fat again... Hai... Well, this time round, i gotta control, even if i grow fat, will shake them off after all of it...

Ok, not organised in wad i wanna say but basically, it's just saying, i'm gonna work hard, eat hard, and in the end, play hard... Get it?!

No matter what, I will work for it!

Monday, October 17, 2005

It's another long blog... Take a deep one!

After coming back from school the other day, went to have a haircut which i regretted quite a bit. My fringe looks so weird... And when i wake up, it will stick up... WAh lao!!!! K, wadever, gonna live with till it's long...

Ermm... 5.45pm, time to leave, waited and waited, Ping Hong never turned up, i got so bored that i started pacing up and down. Later, Yuting joined me, and while talking, something really shocking happened. An ACCIDENT!!! O mE GoD! U know, my house there the T-junction, gosh, a cab went into a seven-sitter, both the cars were so dented! But it was a good thing nobody was injured, Yuting and i were like, "How huh?!" And we stoned for like 1 minute. HeH!

Met up with the others at Jurong and went to Marina! Reached, we all started eating... MuhAHA! A lot of ChiCkens! Also, i peeled the prawns again... Hai... Always... After much choatic eating, we went arcade!!!! MuhAHha! Haven't played for a while le, and i got hooked onto the time crisis... FUn...

10plus, some of them went home... While the others went to Walk... Singapore river.... ANd pple started going crazy, taking pictures everywhere... It was great.

The night ended like that.. The days in secondary school ended with our own party... 5A1 style... I will never forget....

LOVE U PEOPLE!!!!


Next day, slept till very late, afterwhich went to work... Didn't feel like going coz i feel very sick, seriously. I was just sitting on the chair, practically motionless, staring into the air. However, Felicia called to go at 5, unwillingly, i went to bath. Not caring bout the time. Didn't rushed, slowly take bus and everything. Reached hotel at bout 4.40.

I really felt very sick when i'm up, warm on the inside, cold on the outside. In absolute no mood to entertain anyone. So just smiled with anyone who called me, or just simply walked away. DAo u might say, but I'm SICK!!! And coz of me acting ignorance, pple actually thought i dunnoe how to do things, and started teaching me, i'm like "Ok, fine, u go on...*yAwN*" HeH! Quite rude, but fact is i know liao lor...

Here and there, pple kept calling "Apple!" "Ai Ping!", and i just rmbed myself kept turning around and said "Wad?!", "Somebody called me?" So Sick... ANd so, there i went, started ignoring again.. HEH!

Until 6pm came, i was still feeling very bad, nauseous, wanted to vomit liao... So i calmed myself, blocked myself away from wad's happening and started stone-ing... Ahem... Cindy was telling me some stuff but i couldn't hear... Again, very bad of me...

When posted to VIP, i jumped a little, when i know it was her, my face ji tao changed. Heh HEh! U know how much i hate that person... Shh... Everybody do... Coz everybody came to tell me to take care... HeH! She seems to bully everyone that has partnered with her b4, ever since she started working VIP. She bullied me too... But not to a large extent, y? Coz i was her 1st partner, the one who "taught" her, the right things, not the pushing-it-all-to-others part. Anyway, cos i was really sick, i stone a lot so i act as if i dunnoe, so she gotta do the stuff... HeH! I'm good at this, for ur info, that is, if i want to.... HAHAHA!!!

Ermm... Other stuff leh... Again, i make Firdaus angry... Hai... Well, i guess there are just too many restrictions being his friend. Anyway, i've apologized, take it or leave it... I wun bother too much this time round, too sick and tired of all these... Sometimes, there's a limit to everything. I wun go too far to get one's forgiveness, i dun go too far when playing, all in all, i dun go too far in anything. As long as i think that it's appropriate, then that's it... If it's fated, then i'll make it happen, if it's not fated, then let it be.

HeH! After all the choatic things that happened on this past week, it is time to get plenty of rest and start to work hard liao... Thursday is the practical exam, better make it good, man!

By the way, Christopher was acting very strange on Saturday, i wonder anyone else noticed it, or was it just me? Hmmm....

The battle is beginning all over again... Welcoming it with open arms...

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Last day of Secondary School Life

Yes, without a doubt, it is finally, the last day of school. I dunnoe how to continue from here...

Somehow, i dun really feel much but i know that it is the last day. Somehow, i feel that even if we've gone separate ways, one day, we will still meet, somewhere, in the same place again.

I will miss everything that we've been thru. The ups and downs, the struggles, the successes, the failures, the happiness, the sorrows, the bickerings, the disturbings, and most importantly, everyone...

There will never be another secondary school life again. I will never meet pple like them again. They came into my life, and they made a huge difference in it. I couldn't bear, but i have to.

They have given the knowledge that i never knew, they made me understand the meaning of life and the teachings of angels. They are my pillar of support and will continue to be even when i've turned grey, i will not forget them. - My teachers.

Still, my heart lingers on....

Friday, October 14, 2005

My THroat IS burning!!!

Never go clubbing when u r sick, it will make u sicker.

It is only at that kind of places where u can see the wild side of pple. That scare the hell out of me. Pple kissing, making out, drunk, screaming, shouting, vomitting. U name it, u see it. It's scary but if ur mood is there, it is a good place to let it all out. And i mean ALL!

Hai... Feel so sad bout something. As a friend, i dunnoe wad to do to help her. Her heart is hurting for her friend. I feel bad when she talks to me bout it but i can't say anything to even soothe her. Well, in this world, there are pple who Sux in a lot of ways. Some pple are just pure ingrates who only knows how to have fun and nothing else, once they get into trouble, they flee. Wad can we do, they will get wad they deserve one day.

Ermm... Seriously, i can't drink too much. Sometimes, pouring alcohol into ur stomach cannot solve any probs, u might just lost it.

My throat is hurting a lot now... I took the medicine liao, a bit drowsy.... *fAinT* hee~

Y i say so much bout all these? Coz i saw it all last night. It freaked me out. BIG TIME!

SHiT...

Packing store SUCKs!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is so upsetting! I never wanna do it again... I sucked in so much dust! And i was totally dying in it. Shit... Now, my throat hurts. All the way till 1am...

There's more to say but i decided not to. Actually all can be done earlier but well, things just didn't turned out that way coz of some reasons. At the end of the night, my body was hurting too much. And felt very sick.

This month, my phone bill will definitely be damn cham... Y? Coz i kept calling pple and pple kept calling me to chat up. I'm not gonna pick up any call from now on except for the given time.

O level arriving, after Saturday, i'm not going to work liao. I'm not gonna contact pple from work anymore so please dun call me and psycho me, or ask me to go out, i seriously need to concentrate on my studies liao. My heart is already drifting away, i wanna get it back. If ever i start having attitude prob with you, dun be surprised and i wun apologize for wad i do.

Determined to get wad i want, no more desire on fun, coz i know that will come. So shut up, and LISTEn Up, DUN, DUN affect me!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

I'm SICK!!!

SoB SoB... I'm sick... Shit man... Flu And Cough... Oh mY god.. I guess it's coz of all the chills i had yesterday... On the bus, in the hotel... GOd...

And i wanted to stay home to revise today but seems like i'm just too sick to do any of those... Kk, i will take care of myself.. Already got a bottle of water in front of me liao... SiCk...

Just wanna complain bout my sickness... Hai... That's it...

1 more week left for Practical to begin... BuCKu UPu!!!

Monday, October 10, 2005

|~Love and Friends~|

Moving with the flow
Taking what is wrong
In the rush of the ocean
Lies a body of bruises
Seeking the right moment
To revive

Many times
I thought
My life was like before
Somehow
Something lacks
Yet I dunnoe

I realised I was deceived
By someone I called "me"
And then I tried to turned back time
But it can't possibly be

Where should I go from here
How can I carry on
What can I do to free myself from these ropes

Walking into the real world
Seeing the unseen
It hurts
But that's just reality

In the silences
The words are never said
Who can guarantee tomorrow is there
For us to live

I see it in your eyes
It always starts the same way
It seems like everything you've said are just lies
Does anybody ever stay in love

I wanna make a promise
I wanna make it true
But you just left without a word
Too silently
Too mysteriously
Just a note
You let go

I see u looked at me
When u think i'm not aware
You're searching for clues
Just how deep my feelings are
How can I prove to you
That the sky is blue
And the ocean is wide
'cause that
Is my feelings for you

When I looked into your eyes
All that is left
Is just your guesses
Wondering how I feel
Can there be just one day
When u trust me
Like I do to you

If I can
I'd love to tell you
How much you mean to me
Like my body to my heart
Like my mind to my body
And like my spirit to my soul
Can you imagine it?

Even when we've walked separate paths
I wish
We can still be friends

I dun wish to bear grudges
But you made me do
If that is the case
Then maybe
Our friendship is through
I dun need a friend like you
I dun need a traitor too
All I need is myself
To bring me home

If for you
I am a nobody
Then please tell me so
I dun wish to give so much
That it hurts likewise
I wanna be myself
Someone who live for me

Maybe one day
My life will be better
Or maybe worse
But all I seek
Is a shoulder to lay on
Or a back to lean
or maybe just a word of encouragement
That's all I seeked

Dun turn away
Like u dunnoe me
Dun eat my heart
If the ending is seen
Dun even talk to me
If wad u want is to bruise me
'cause all I ask
Is just to be the simple me

Please
At least
Leave me some space
For me to hold on
When I'm met with a storm
Give me a life
For me to shelter my pain
If I can ask for a bonus
Please
Give me someone
Who I can forever hold
And will forever hold me
Till my life is sentenced to go

Juvenile
Maybe
Foolish
It seems
Promises
Were fake
Happiness
Is hard to seek
Why does sorrows come so easily?
Leave me...

True enough
Friends are here to stay
But never give up on Love
'cause it is where love is
That there is Friends
And likewise the other way round
Love would prevail... I hope...

When hope still lingers
Then there is Life
When Life is still around
Hope exists.

~GlAmouRouSly lOneLY~

WAh Wah Wah!!! Amazing huh!

Wah lao... These 2 days tedious wor... Drives me to my very limit. All coz of my own sake.. HEH! After the Merlion day, i had a great sleep all thru the night, till the next afternoon. Actually, i wanted to sleep more de but leh, Chris called and he sounded real pissed... So in my daze, i agreed to go at 3.

SiCk!!!!!! Once i woke up, i went out... No time to do any other thing... Once i reached hotel, guess wad? I forgot my Name Tag...HAHHAHA!!!! So i'm like, GoD.... Then, Chris called me down to rosewood. I was ermm... Feeling very weird when he mentioned, "Astley" HeH! U know wad i mean? read my previous blog bah... True enough, once i go in and do the stuff i was instructed, he started to talk to me like i knew him very well.. Very Weird WoR... Ok lah, at the end of 3 hours, i was sitting there eating dinner with him liao... HAHA!!! HEH... He's a not bad person bah, but still, i dunnoe him... O ya, he reminds me of TeCk aUn... HEH!!!

Seriously, i only woke up after 6pm. the stuff b4 that were very vague... So, when things started to get busy, i started to talk more, communicate more, and it ain't that bo liao lor... I should count myself lucky bah, coz rosewood ain't that busy, compared to the Kk DNd...

"Why people call u Apple huh?" Was wad Si ju(a china Girl) asked me... And i'm like, "ermmm... Coz i look like apple mah..." and she laugh laugh laugh, but i dun find it funny lor... Anyway, after that, she showed me a lot of things which made me laugh a bit... HAHA!!! Ok, a lot of it reflects me... Like when she dunnoe wad is Tonic water, she's like panicking there and nobody else knows, so she's like "Zhe me ban? Wo bu zhi dao shi se me lai de!" So i happened to walk by and she asked me, and of cos, i dunnoe wad's she's talking bout so i went to help her asked... All this kind of reflects me when i 1st started working bah... HA! Funny huh!

Nearing the end, i was very pissed with the guests in rosewood. They refused to leave lor.. Like their house like that. Say is their mother's 90th birthday, it's just their excuse to come out and party nia, like as if an ah mah can stay till 12+. Like ReAl.. So i started to walk around, trying to find trolley to clear all the messed up trays, but to no avail, then i begin to wipe the suzannes like nobody's business, and just kept walking up and down 2nd and 3rd level, just to avoid all those pple... And they keep asking for drinks when the beverage stopped liao... HaiYo... CrAps!

Then, i went to office keep the number plates, menu and HeH HeH, Bt kor spotted me... And i was told to do skirting... HaiYo.. HAte skirting, but hai hao lah... In the end, thumb red red le.. And a bit too silent inside neroli lor, i freaked out a little... HeH! Good thing Cindy called me in the middle... HA, arbo i surely run outside and asked for someone to accompany me de... FreAked....

Waiting for my voucher was the worst part bah... My leg really cannot stand liao, yet have to stand and wait. So i'm like, my voucher? My voucher? My voucher? In the end, stand till 2.30 then got it... Hai... Should have just sat outside and wait bah... O ya, bt kor got very pissed with one of the girls... "I got 95 tables, u only got 750 napkins!" And the girl tot kor was joking... So, this is another case of pple not using common sense and god damn attitude prob... HA!

So after bidding bye to Astley, firdaus, Bt kor and NOT FORGETTING NIZAM( coz i forgot and he complained), i went downstairs. Started to feel very tired... So i kept quiet and stand by the side, rest... Seriously rest...

On the transport, sleep, sleep... Home, ate some stuff and ji tao SLeeP lOr...

Early in the morning, Firdaus msged me, and i kind of just ignored most of it, coz i kept dozing off while reading, anyway, it's not important.. Hehe~

Hao LaH... lAter gonna do homework le, btw, need to go get pay next week AGAIN!!!!!Freaking system! HAi... CiAO for Now!!!

Saturday, October 08, 2005

By the side of The Merlion

Interesting topic huh... Ha! Been out all day... Gosh, i'm dead beat.

On the streets of Orchard, saw so many things happening and i kind of just ignored them all. And outside Paragon, met Ian... Ermm... Help him throw away the flyers.. HAHA!!!

Then, met up with Bt kor at Marina... He kind of scared me a little just now... Hai... There's a limit to everything and health is definitely one of those...

So we kind of just spend the night at different Spots... On the roof of the esplanade, and beside the "vomitting" Merlion.. HeH! "Oh my god, i've never been so close to the merlion b4!" "I dun wanna die a VIRGIN!" HAhA!!!!! It was nice just sitting there viewing at the night sky with the different buildings enhancing it. This is where i call home... Uniquely Us... Anyway, i just let my mind run wild while the other 2 were talking bout different things. I entertained a bit. Somehow, some memories did came back... Was a little bit depressed but somehow, kor's TAiWAneSe EntertAinment made me laughed... A LOT!

I guess even without talking wad's really in our hearts, we kind of let it off a little. For ting is like that, for me is like that, for Kor, i hope it's so. We all need some people to be by our sides to listen to us sometimes, even if it's just sitting side by side, looking into the empty spaces. Times like that will be kept in me forever.

Like we've said just now, maybe one day we might find ourselves sitting at one of the spots, thinking we are alone, yet not. It will be nice to sit there alone and watch basically nothing, think nothing and feel nothing.

Yup, it's good to have this kind of moments once in a blue moon.

Ermm... Today, i really saw the side of kor who he portray as someone who always joke but in his heart, he dun wanna be lonely... Well, Kor, u r not, with mei mei like me and friend like Ting, we will never be just that someone.

Thanks Kor and Sister....

The night sky filled my gentle soul, the breeze blew my sorrows away, the people there with me show me how much I am cared. My heart is fred for now... Thank You...

Friday, October 07, 2005

Embarassing....

O mY gOd!!!! I was spotted by someone when i'm in uniform!!!! GoSh! Not that the uniform is anything to be ashame of but i look very nerd in U lor... And i tried so hard to avoid letting friends outside of school to see me in U! It's my way of disguising myself lah... HEH! wAh lao... So paiseh, and it's early in the morning lor... Kelvin, beg u lah, dun tell other pple ok?! ThAnks!!! HAHA!!

Speaking of which, the way i looked in school is extremely different when i'm outside. So much so that when pple from school saw me outside, there will wonder a bit... Ha! Apple very obedient in school de. I dun go round wanting pple to know me or wanting to be popular, i just remain as the plain me... HeH!!! Sounds like i'm quite a boring person... That's True... Hee~ So, dun be surprise O!!!

School today was not very bad... The 1st 5 periods were a little bit too long... It has always been so. Although the time is the same, the lessons seem long. Even when there's Mock test, the time still drifts slowly by. HAiYo... English lesson was great, coz did a compo, i tried very hard to write the way i used to( coz Miss Teo says i lost my touch), so i'm just trying to bring back those.

These few days, during recess, canteen is very quiet coz the Sec 4s aren't there, they are having their N level. I had mine last year, we did a great job but i doubt the same will apply to this batch(cross my fingers). Y i say so? With pple like them, guys only cares bout GIRLS, and girls only care bout GUYS, who can ensure a safe future for them? HA! CrAps... Anyway, that's none of my business, coz there's nobody there that i'm concern, except for Terry... Ping Hong's Wife... HAHA!!!

Tomorrow gonna go orchard... Hehe~ I suppose it will be a long night... Awaiting...

Does love conquer all? Nebulous and Vague....

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Speak Sense

Raining early in the morning, feel so sad... HeH! The weather definitely have some effects on our hormones.. HA! Walked to school feeling very depressed. heH! Good thing there were some sms-es to kind of cheer me up.

Xueting didn't go to school today... Her body system was very down yesterday... She said she's feeling better le... Hai... Dun stress too much bah...

Erm... I felt some sourness from Peggy's words.. Well, i never actually heard her saying that kind of stuff b4... Kind of shocked me a little but wad can i do... I just smiled and walked away.

I'm still relaxing now but still working very hard... Past memories of working hard are all erased for one simple reason, the past is the past, no matter how hard i worked b4, it was b4, i need to work now for the future... So, i'm bucking up for O level. Prelim really strike me hard.

Plans... Gonna finish all the maths paper by this week. Revise on Physics. HeH! When next week comes, i'll be switching to SS mode. I am really very disappointed with my SS's prelim result... Extremely lor... HAi... The past's glory was not reflected. Anyway, the past is the past... I'm gonna work hard for it, wanna get my A1 back, if not an A2 will be fine... HAHA!!! ConfiDEnce!

MAma off today, she's home the whole day... ermm.. I threw a bit of tantrum on her, coz she kept asking me to eat leftovers... AiYo, very cham. After that, i went on to do my stuff, so i didn't talk to her much today. She's now chatting with her mei mei, my aunty... Ermm... I'm just glad mama can stay at home to relax today... She brewed a cup of tea for me which tastes like coffee... HeH! Still, mama cares for me most...

Ermm.. I had enough rest, revised enough. So it's always good to plan b4 doing things. I'm able to complete wad i wanna do and at the same time, slack... HAha!!! Sorry, very crappy...

I've been acting weird these few days wor... In the sense that i talked a lot.. And the atmosphere turns pretty cold... Ha! And yuting was like "......" HAHA!!! PAiseh, just feel like talking more nowadays... Not many days left to talk and crap with these pple le... U know, dun wanna lost anything and regret later...

Hao LAh... Got nothing much to say liao... Wanna go check out some stuff b4 i go OinK oINk!

The sidewalk cracks disappeared...

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Uncovering...

Although my papers were to much disappointment but the overall marks are not bad. The most i will get is 15. I should count myself very lucky coz i didn't really focus a lot for this prelim. Now that i've learnt my lesson, i'm gonna work extremely hard for O level liao... And i mean IT! MuhAhAHa! O level, i'm gonna aim for somehere between 12 to 15. That's gonna be it!

I dunnoe why, i feel very tired today. I slept for 2 straight periods. It was a good thing Miss Teo didn't come, coz seriously i slept thru the whole period while everyone were busy collecting the papers back. And when PG period came, i didn't even know Miss Ang came in. Wah... and i slept all the way like nobody's business. I woke up and fell asleep again. I can't stand myself SiA... HeH!

Note, friends around me seems to be upset bout their results. I dunno wad to do. I dun wanna do anything as well.. All i can say is "u can make it de, O level is the final." Seriously, i dunnoe wad to tell them besides that. I dun wan things to happen again. So i just kept it to myself. HeH!

Yesterday, saw Eric online so i kind of chatted with him a little and complained to him bout some of the stuff... hai... Sometimes, pple that doesn't know me, listens to me most. I guess it's something good coz they wun be biased against anyone, just comes out with the raw truth.

I cut my fringe last night... HA! ok, the length is kind of irritating me a bit so i decided to cut it away. hAH! Am i bold or wad? HeH! i actually dared to do this kind of stuff.. Another thing is i trimmed my own eyebrow. Shocked? HA! That was 2 years ago lor... I stood in front of the mirror and started trimming. Seriously, i dunnoe y pple waste money to go trim when they can trim themselves. Ok, only pple like me dared to.. Coz no $$ mah... HAhA!!!

Miss Chong and Miss Ang treated us Pizza today coz for Miss chong it's coz we got 100% passes for maths, for Miss Ang, it's coz we're her form class... HeH! Nice of them... Appreciate it...

Last night, b4 i went to bed, Kelvin called me twice, and guess wad? Twice the conversation lasted not more than 5 min. After that, Cindy called me... HAHA! Funny Huh! Then, we kind of talked bout some things that is bothering her. Well, things like that, i can't really help, i can only give some little advices. That's all... Well, glad that she came to talk to me bout it, at least she treats me as a friend.

Hai... Once again, i felt love in the air... AiyO! How lEh?! Of cos, it's not bout me lah... Friends of cos... Everyone are In LOVE!!!! HAhA!!! Tao yAn...

Just now, went to eat congee with pa and ma... My pa very funny lor, he said something and the tea came splashing out of my mouth... HAHA!!! Ok, i can't say wad, it's just funny...

Ermm... Moments i spent with myself are still the best. I guess nobody understands me more than i do... Hee~ This is my life... I've made it this far... Right here, right now, i'm exactly where i'm supposed to be.

Treacherous face of mortals, their true colours have yet to be uncovered. Beware, traps are hidden everywhere, by the ones you trust most.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Just a normal day

Something amazing happened today... I got back my EL paper2, i was very surprised by the marks i got. Surprise as in the positive surprise... HEh! This time round i got great results on my EL but the same doesn't apply on my CL paper... Hai... Well, i supposed i should be happy that i got such results for EL. I'm just feeling guilty that i didn't do well for my CL since i'm a chinese... Well, there's definitely room for improvement. A lot more.

I was very tired today but it seems like i kept talking non-stop. HeH! This is one of my "high" days, where i just can't stop talking and making fun of pple. HeH! I guess it was coz i was quite depressed yesterday due to certain reasons, and in the end, i kind of cope myself in the room for bout 2 hours, trying to think through all of it.

Just now, went to westmall, determined to buy the long-awaited perfume, but to my disappointment, it's sample was gone. I wanted to smell it again but hai.. Anyway, went through a few bottles of it but none suits me, and most of which exits $40. Well, i'm gonna wait for Friday to come, get the rest of the little pay and then go back again. MuSt buy ONE!

Ermm... Bought Bon Jovi's album, MUHAHAHA! So HAPPY! The album is awesome! ROCK ROCK ROCK! Wad i didn't know was, there was a gift, a cup. hEhE~ Anyway, i fell asleep listening to the songs but i woke up a lot of times coz well, it's rock... Also, coz a lot of sms-es which woke me up and a phone call...

Wooo... dunnoe y, today ting doesn't seem to be in a good mood, didn't wanna bother her, so kind of left her to do her stuff.. Well, y i chose to leave her alone? Coz i always have this kind of bad-mood-days and i get really pissed when pple talk to me. Fact is, i dun wannna make her feelings go further down, though i dunno wad is it that's bothering her. Dun wanna know either. Like i said, everybody got something somewhere in their heart that they dun wanna expose.

Well, no dinner for me tonight again. Hai... So sad.. lAter go buy milk drink liao.. From now on, i gotta really depend on myself on certain things, no more, ma here ma there le. Always troubling mama...

Well, it's time to grow up...

As time passes by, I grew up... It's tough but I'm trying to make the best out of it.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Can't stand....

Sometimes, it doesn't pays to be kind. Take an examples, from friend.

Friends; Someone called me, it is only right that i replied and asked y and in the end, i was said to be breaking his relationship with his gf... Fuk Himself MAN! God damn pissed with a person like this. If he's so afraid of his lady, then dun call me, dun even talk to me, that settles them all. Call me himself and blamed me for wad he did. FooL!

Hai... So damn... Anyway, back to normal table yesterday. I know it's gonna be tough to go back to the normal tables, trying to adapt to it. In the end, it's not my own 3 table that makes me tired, it's all the walking around to helped out the others... GosH... I couldn't believe the speed that i'm working at... HeH! I think my partner feels very pressurized by me... Coz i keep telling him to get stuff... I didn't touch Oval tray yesterday! Just twice, nearing the end... La LA lA! Do u know how good it feels not to touch that thing... IT'S AwesoMe!!! Didn't strained my arms, shoulder and waist... MuHAhA!!! Alright, it's pretty lame... Well, it was pretty nice to be back to normal tables. Reminds me of when i 1st went to work, everything were so unclear, asking around and all... Ah.. BAck then, everything was all good...


Anyhow, the night ended like that, and well, i supposed there's gonna be some scoldings in the end and i was right. Was called back to the ballroom to receive some dressing down. Gosh... I was stunned by wad Wee Loon said... Pple actually put the round tray on the suzanne when the guests were around?! OmG! CommON SenSe IndeeD... Hai... Sometimes, things can't be rushed i guess. No training produce such staff... Hai Hai Hai... Nothing to Say...

Anyway, it was a good thing Cindy was beside me... heH! We kind of helped out each other a bit every now and then... A bit pissed with Auntie ___. Very shit lor... I mean she got 4 round trays and i got nothing lor, i took it and she's like, "Oi, that's mine leh" I'm like, " can i LEND IT FOR A WHILE?!" And just walked away... Haiyo... Fast as they are, stingy as can be. GoD!

And i just remember myself walking around doing lots of stuff... Top up drinks, serving, clearing... erm... By the end of the night, my legs were pretty much disfunctional... Heh!

Wah lao, and Firdaus kept asking me to go to Ashley's side to wait for OT. And i'm like, wah lao, i dun wan lah... GoSh... VeRy dot DoT DoT Dot Dot Dot....

Went to office to take my voucher and there, rested, Cindy wanted to wait for yusoff(papa) and so i sat there, eat my chocolate... HeHe~ Offering pple around. And i saw Lau's table got that biscuit, so i was busy eating the biscuits, filling my stomach(btw, only had a meal yesterday), and well, as busy as i was, i didn't know they took my phone... So when i stood up wanting to leave liao, i saw yusoff took my cover, and i assumed he took my phone, but it was Lau who took it, with my doggy hanging out of his pocket. ok, so i admit, i was busy eating the biscuits.... HAHA!!!! HunGrY Leh!

Pack store, pack store, very hot! But at least everything was done by 1.30am. HeHE!!! Was not as tedious as all the walkings out there... La LA LA.... can't rmb much le coz i was kind of dreaming for the rest of the night, working... Shh... But i did wad i should... HeH!

2.30am... Still at hotel, waiting for transport. I was half-dead... Finally, the transport came, and we went up, i ji tao sleep... In the midst, i woke up and started playing with my phone's cam. Taking shot of the sleepy yusoff.. Hee~ And there goes all the funny stuff... Heh!

Reached home, after bath, ji tao concussed le...

Early this morning, my phone kept ringing. So many sms-es and calls... All of those were very vague... I rmbed Andy calling, to ask me to go to work, and a couple of sms-es from Cindy's friend.... HeH! then, Zzzzz again...

hai.. Like PiG... Later gonna do hw lE... TireD...

Trying to make things right...

Saturday, October 01, 2005

PLease LoR!

So all was in vein. I tot the prob was solved yet it's still here. I really dunnoe wad the freaking prob is wrong with this blog's create... Hai Yo... Cannot stand... i'm like typing in a very weird place... Aiya, anyway, still can post so i guess it's fine bah... When i got the time i'll change a bit bah... But i doubt it's the skin's prob... Fuking Prob...

Anyway, wanna talk bout yesterday in school... HEHe~ We were playing with phones of each other's... And Yuting take quite a lot of my pics and put it on frame... CuTE wor... I was all excited bout it... HeH! Sick of me but it's fun.

Also, we did a survey on our school. Ok, i dun rmb doing it last few years, maybe coz i didn't do it honestly coz u know, have to say the fake things to make the school think they're doing good. So this year, being the last year, i did everything honestly, i can say 3/4 of it are disagree/no... HeH! See, the school sux in many ways, but still, there are good things bout it. At least i spent 4 years of it feeling great, with lots of good memories... Hai.. Miss the good old days but well, it's over, i gotta move on... We all should.

O ya, took back our D&T paper, i'm satisfied with it... That's where my standard is... Hee~

After school, went to PS... Wah lao... I really fell asleep in the bus lor... Coz i was sitting alone and yuting and cheryl was at another side, so i msg them and tell them to wake me up when we're reaching, and i really just fell asleep, when i woke up, we were already at Tanglin mall le... Gosh.. Can u believe how tired i was? ok, after lunch i went to work...

Ok, the walk was god damn long, but i saw a lot of ShUAi ang moHs... HeH! And i walked pass the place where i 1st work. Ermm... That was quite a funny situation.. Anyway, i fell sick for 4 days after that day of work... HAhA!!! It was 2 years back l