Thursday, May 19, 2005

Standing in the middle of everything but not falling.

Hai... So i guess the ending is set, i failed my EL for the 1st time... I felt that i've let Miss Teo down, she came to my table there and kind of gave me two taps and asked me "Wad happened?!" And she seemed very disappointed in me, likewise, i am very disappointed in myself. Hai... She was trying to console us by telling us that she is not very worried for us yet and that she will still help us along the way. I nearly cried upon hearing all the words she said, i mean, i have nv heard any teacher talked to us this way, not even Mrs Loo... She made me feel so touched, i guess she is truely a great teacher. Unable to describe the feeling, she just gave us so much encouragement, tears nearly fell down a few times but i hold it back. Well, gotta thank Miss Teo for that. Anyway, maybe coz the paper is difficult? Coz quite a lot of pple failed even those that pass only managed the most a B3. SAd lor... However, my mood wasn't as bad as it was yesterday, i got over the failure after a short while.

I kind of told Linda bout the unhappiness i had with that person. Ermm.. U should know who if u read bout yesterday. She was surprised that she said that to me. Then she kind of told me bout another person that she was upset bout whenever we got our EL paper. Ermm... Well, bitching to each other bout the different friends that we had some hatre bout.

Anyway, later got back Chem paper, ermm... Still, science ain't that good. got a B3 instead of my target. Sad... Then Maths paper, made me a little bit happy coz got 2 more marks. Still an A1 though but hopefully, it adds a bit to my %. Just hoping bah... Erm.. Then, it was Humanities, erm... manage to pass bah, not a nice grade for me... But i guess i did my best... Next round, i'm gonna catch it real hard.

ermm... K, so results stuff dun bother me anymore, it's done and that's wad i got, i got no control over it at all... O ya, the D&T, heh, i rushed out and got an A2. Thank god, at least there are 2 As. At least... Anyway, next up will be O level CL, i will buck up for it, and will not let Mdm khong or myself down! Will NOt!

I kicked someone's butt today. Jenn's butt then she actually pinch mine... So HArd! I was like.... WTH! But then i kicked her another time. Kind of brought my spirit up a little. Ermm... Just glad...

LAst night was talking to Tingling bout some stuff, ermm.. She gave me some encouragement, ermm... I guess she was not in a good mood herself either but thankful for her to be there to console me.

Ee kept thinking i'm not ok, he would asked me how am i every alternate day. the truth is i'm not really ok yesterday but i was entirely fine today. Hee~ Different mood on different day... Erm... "He" msg me today and i kind of felt weird cos is that suppose to happen?! HAhAha! Wondering lah, but anyway, it's ok de...

CL mock paper 1 today.. The atmosphere was a bit serious when Mrs yeow started talking and i kind of realised they are all very anxious bout our CL... Maybe its for the school but then again, we should know it is for our own good. In the midst of the paper, while i was starting to check, a disgusting stench came by. WTF! u cannot imagine how it smelled man! it started with a bit of rubbish truck kind of smell then slowly, it became like shit then lao sai... The pungent smell was killing me lor! I can't breathe, i nearly died sia... I was telling the truth lor! CAn never forget that stench. the mock paper, i kind of challenge myself a bit. i gave up the usual descriptive essay and went for narrative type... News... Ermm... Really a big challenge coz i nv was good at it, but i'm trying it out, a duel between the past me and the present me. Hope it will come out good.

Ermm.. very thirsty now... HA! Dunnoe y, later go make ice water drink. God damn thirsty. I broke the news of my failing to my mama, she didn't scold me lah, just say then how and nag a bit lor. Hai.. very sad... But i assured her that i will do better for prelim. Definitely! Did revision for Mt mock p2 tml, ermm... not really done but tml will continue.

So, i got all the results of my MYE, wasn't good at all basically coz i didn't put in much effort either. No sacriface, no gain, i guess... heh! Hope somehow, somewhat i will be able to remain at 3rd. PrAy.. but if it doesn't, i gotta accept my own mistake...

Tomorrow is another day, live it well then... Rather than all the bitching. MuHahA!

I saw the care she gave us, felt the warmth she sent. Most of all, the effort she has given just to let us know that we are better than we thought we are. -To Miss Teo-

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