Wednesday, September 28, 2005

ConfuSiOnS...

Hey! Wad is wrong with the world huh? Everyone seems to be acting weird... Friends from school are, friends from work are, friends that are indirectly linked to me, are....

Hai... y i say this? U guess leh?! I've been receiving SmSes that kind of confuses me...1st off, Hui ru kept msging me to ask me things which her closest friend should know( coz i'm not those that is very careful bout wad to bring de, i just bring wad i wan) , then, comes strange things happening between xueting and yuting. Then, pple from work leh, even weirder, not to mention wad, but just weird... Then, at home leh, hai... The strange thing is, everybody is not talking... Hai... See, my kor now walking around and i'm not even looking at him. HeH! Ok, might not sound strange to u but, to me, it is VERY!

And i've been reading things which are so out of the world, like not human language like that. goD... Go see Trish Blog and every single time, i'm stucked by the chim chim words. went to check bT kor's blog, i'm always wondering wad's going on in his world wor... AiyO... Even when i read my own blog, i also dunnoe wad i'm writing, y do i always sound so sad de leh?! See, i'm so confused bout everything that's happening... I happened to watch News a few days ago, and i realised, there's been a hurricane or something in the US, and i'm like, huh?! Peculiar...

Gosh, the world is changing and i am caught behind time. Nobody seems to be updating with wad's going on... However, i did come to a conclusion myself. For the sms from Hui ru and the stuff betweeen yuting and Xueting, i guess it's coz this is the last year liao, we're all trying to catch up with wad we did not treasure b4, holding on to the one last chance of being friends, restoring the friendship for some of them.

As for people from work, those bitches, i got no conclusion, they are still bitches. Bout firdaus, it's weird, but ermm... well, nothing has been normal since i know him. For other rumors or gossips, hear no evil...

At home, probably everyone are too busy with their stuff bah. Mama is busy getting back to work, kor kor trying to make another story, 2kor always busy with his own stuff, papa always busy with work and friends. And me, i'm busy with exam and friends. Well, i guess it's time i think bout my family liao... However, i know, no matter how much i tried, my brothers are still my brothers, they dun really bother bout wad i do but i have a lot of opinions bout wad they're doing. i guess meis are always the ones who knows wad is going on, and trying to make their kors and jies see that and yet, it's hard to. hai... An obligation? I dunnoe...

Trish's blog, ok, that, is totally understandable, her EL extreme Pro, it's only natural that someone like me can't understand, at least i can understand half of it. Well, i dun wanna ask too much bout her life, she got stuff hidden in a corner of her heart, i have mine too, i dun wan pple to interfere with it, so i guess she dun wan anyone to do the same. So, i'll still be here, encouraging her when she needs it.

Bt kor's blog leh, i guess after catching up with some of his stuff recently, i can understand y he wrote all those stuff, maybe i can't really be in his situation, at least i can somehow make some picture out of it. I guess, at the end of the day, it's still up to him to choose his next step. We're just looking at it. Well, I believe he can make it de! Y?! Coz he's Chua boH tEck Mah! My Kor Leh... heH!

As for my own blog... Well, thing is, dealing with studies is the hardest thing on earth and at the same time, struggling with so many other stuff, i guess that is normal bah. Complaining is the only thing i can do. Hee~ Moreover, it's woman's right to nag and complain, though i'm not really a woman yet, but i'm kind of hanging in the middle... Aiya, one day will become de lah! Well, for now, i'll do things my own way and just go with the flow bah.

On US's disaster, i can't really help but i can pray for them. GoD bLesS the pple of the US!

Loneliness is something undescriptable. Wad is the meaning of being lonely? Seriously, we all are, yet we are not... Contradicting? Think bout it, when u r alone, feeling lonely, u feel down, wanna cry, need someone to fill that loneliness, want someone to be beside u, but always when u are on the edge of breaking down, someone will come, be it anyone, they r there, for u... So, r u really lonely? r u?!

Ok, next question, Is love the thing we all need?

Unable to have an answer for that coz, again, it's contradicting. The other day, i was asking bt kor, "do i look like i'm desperately yearning for love?" He said "No, not in particular, but it's not wrong to." True enough, it's not wrong to. But do i need one? Sometimes, i thought i need, but most of the time, i dun. I need to be love coz i feel lonely. However, i am not lonely, coz there r pple there for me, so i'm not lonely, i dun need love. Besides, love comes from everywhere, i got love from friends and family. Love from a guy? Nope, i suppose it's not the time yet... Not yet...
never fall in love out of desperation, never say "I love you" when i dun mean it. Now, i only need a shoulder to lie on, just for that comfort... AnYOnE?! heH!

Hao... Now that i've solved some of the qns i have in mind, i'm feeling cool. LoVe IS In tHE Air bUt For nOw, For the tIme BeInG, my heArt iS ClOSed, my MiNd Is FocUSeD. FaLLiNg In tHe CoFfin Of loVe?( wait for me to watch corpse bride 1st then i tell u the consequences, haha), can U read wad i'm saYing?!

Ermm... All these are just to clear some of the qns i have in mind, not just from me, but from friends as well... hee~ DoNe!

I met with this crossroad, and I am caught in a dilemma but it is only a matter of time that I find my way back, to make the decision which will lead me to where I'm gonna be tomorrow.

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