His songs...

WoOhOo!!! Back to where i was again! As energtic as b4, as awake as b4! Ha! Ok, i had some great rest last night! Slept real well, no dreams nor mosquitos to interrupt my apple sleep. HA! However, woken by a phone from a aunty who concernly called to remind me to bring the clothes in coz it's raining. Ok, thanks for that but i WAS SLEEPING!!! Ha! Ok lah, thinking back, it's very nice of her, arbo mama will have to do the laundry again. Despite her waking me up, i still gotta thank her.

Next up, after my instant noodle breakfast cum lunch, i was sitting on the chair watching CSI!!! All 3 cities! HeH! Ok, there was a CSI:Supreme Sunday on AXN channel, and i'm a lover of CSI so i sat there to watch till 3pm, then i decided to get my ass off the chair and go to the room and start cracking with my work. Ermm... Along the way, i was damn frustrated with everything. 1st, i ran out of liquid paper and my paper ended up in a mess, and i can't find a place to redo so i left the qn undone. 2nd, i can't seem to be able to solve the qns properly which made me real pissed. 3rd, I fought hard to finish the p1 within 2 hours but b4 the 2 hrs is up, my butt is already up! Heh! Ok, cos of all the above events, i took a break. Went to watch TV, nothing much interesting was on, instinctively, i switched to channel 16, then 12. Because i know when there is nothing to watch, there would be something interesting on the Geographic or discovery channel. And indeed i was right. Discovery Channel had Venice on. Ha! Just wad i wanted to learn more about. Remember i'm studying this chapter now? Although it didn't say much bout wad i was learning, it did allow me to know a bit more about Venice. All the floodings and stuff. Ting msged me. She was telling me that she's slacking... heH! No surprise... Coz i'm slacking too! HAHA! However, i did told her that she should continue after some relaxation, just like me(though most of the time i'm slacking) HA! Anyhow, i did start to work after that.

Finally, after bathing and having my dinner, i'm done with my p1 and completed p2 at bout 10pm. Ermm... Didn't do D&T at all... However, when i go through it, it seems like everything can be done easily(easier said than done). I decided to put it to tml. I've got 1 more further development, put in all the pics and details for data collection, top view of crucial and ergonomics. Well, seems to have quite a lot but ermm... Can be done.... (i'm just giving excuse again. HeH) Contradicting myself as always. :P

I'm listening to Jacky Wu's songs now... Ermm... you know, Wu Zong Xian. Ermm... That taiwan's host. It's been a while since i listen to his songs. It's a bit weird for someone my age to listen to his songs but the thing is, i accidentally bumped with his song back when i was 13. It was his songs that brought me out of some trauma. No idea y or how but it just sort of healed me. Maybe when u've heard it, u'll know. Nobody took this man seriously coz he seems like a joke to everyone, but when i read through the words he had in his album and the lyrics he wrote, all of a sudden, i felt sorry for him. A man, at 40+, not knowing how to handle his relationship, being mistaken again and again, isn't that sad? Somehow, certain sides of him reflects me. Always laughing and joking on the surface but on the inside, crying. Every smile brings some sorrow, trying to hide all the sadness within so no one would know. That is him, and me... Believe it or not. In the crowds, i am the one joking, but nobody knows or understand my pain. I suppose that was how i got to be in love with his music, and that was how i got through some of the lowest point of my life, maybe i was naive back then but the thoughts were right, so real that i could still feel the pain i had inside. Still, i am that person, but never letting others know wad i'm going through. There is always one little thing at the corner of your heart that you dun wan anyone to know, i never let that thing out, not even to the one closest to me.

Sometimes, people think i'm really happy. They always see me smiling and laughing, never a time sad. Even if i was, after a while, i would be back to normal. Seriously, who would've thought someone so jovial like me could be the saddest of them all? Do you think i like to be flying up high alone? No matter how high i am, i am alone, cold... But i learn to accept my fate. That's how i'm supposed to be, how it's meant to be. I'm just happy that i have everything now. Some might think i am an arrogant fool, some might detest the looks of me, but it's ok, if i were to get all worked up coz of wad others think of me, then i might as well be out of this world. It's me that i am looking at, nobody else. Let them talk, let them speculate, i'm still me, the one that never falls. Suddenly felt like i was back to when i was 13. This was wad i used to think, my mindset. It has been a while since i thought of all this but now i know, my thinking is still the same, only more mature and i know wad i thought about b4 are still true now. Jacky Wu... Just a song by him trigger all of my thoughts. I missed those times when i sat at home thinking bout where i stand, i dun do it now anymore, at least till this time. Well, a strange thing that seems so familiar. HeH!

Ok, enough bout my "thinking back"... Last night, b4 i go to bed, i thought bout some of the stuff that's happening between some guys and me... You know... Bout Firdaus, Billy and some anonymous... And got a bit confused bout all this things and i got a bit freaked out. No idea y, just freaked out. Wad is Firdaus to me? Wad is Billy to me? Wad are the anonymous to me? Ermm... Somebody more than friends? Special? HeH! Guess wad? I dunnoe. Subsequently, i calmed down. Stopped the thoughts and there, as happy as i was, i fell asleep. Thinking bout it, i dun really know wad are they to me, for now, they remain as my best friends. Ya... Eventually the answer will surface.

Enough. Signing off...

I just want a love that is simple, nothing fancy, nothing big, just a simple one... As long as I didn't betray anyone, I will forever have nothing to regret...