Nothing Much occurred today. Went to school as usual, did D&T and stuff.. After that, went to Westmall shop a bit. And suddenly remembered Eric was sick. So msg him to wish him well and asked him to see doc. I didn't expect a msg would trigger a series of craps by my dear sister... HAHA! Well, bickering between the both of them. Can't stand hor... But it's just some craps. HAHA!
Lots of plan for this week wor. Pool, Dinner, movie, mp3, shopping and working. HeH! BuSy mE... Erm... Still wondering when i can settle down to start my homework. HeH! Not any time soon i guess. Don't blame me for that. After 5 months of tedious school work, it is time for rest. However, the fact is i am getting far too much relaxation than i should. Since holiday started, though i went back to school everyday, other than that, i am at home, in front of the TV. If not, i would outside shopping, playing pool or working. See... So slack lor hor. Wadever it is, i know when the last week arrives, i would be working hard once more, bringing myself back to the usual school life. HeH! Easier said than done, but dun worry, like i promised b4, i would certainly make it. That's the AppLe!
Last night, out of the blues, i got really sad over the last relationship. I open my hp's inbox wanting to delete some msges, but then, i saw some old msges which leaves me to some sadness. Ermm... U know... Those sweet msges that we used to have. And i thought i've let go. I really thought i did, i haven't been thinking bout him for a long time le, but those msges just brought back those sweet memories. Hai... And i thought... And i kept thinking and thinking and thinking, and i finally can't take it, msg bt kor and he gave me a phrase "Well, it's up to u." I hate that phrase a lot but then it is so true. It is really up to me to decide whether to stop or to continue. Well, wad's the point of continuing those thought when all was gone? I can only think bout it and retain it in my mind. But it's no point, i can't turn back time, i can't tell him all of this coz i know it ain't possible anymore. After some thoughts, i came to a conclusion, it is no use pondering anymore, he is still my friend, y not let it remain as it is than to spoil it all. The past is the past, nothing can change it again. Well, i'll just concentrate with my studies. U know wad, actually after all this sorting out, i feel much much better. At least now, i got the freedom to play with guys without having to worry someone might get jealous and putting the relationship on strain. HeH! Happiness i've got, so no point bringing out those past. Those msges, i'm gonna delete them, one by one and slowly erase those sweet words coz since it's not meant to be, no point leaving it there, waste space nia. HeH!
Question. Wad if one day, someone confess to u? He/She said "Wad if one day u become my girlfriend/boyfriend, wad would u feel?" How would u answer? Somebody asked me that and i answered him, "If one day, u really become my boyfriend, i would love u hard, so hard that u can't breathe but that is, if that day comes. For now, i dared not fall in love anymore. I can like someone but i can't fall in love. I'm numbed by it. It just brings sorrows and not much happiness. Now, my 1st priority in life, is to complete my studies and get to a desire status i want." I sort of thought about my "I'm numbed by it" I'm numbed by love after only a while. I got a taste of it but am i really numbed by it. Or do i have a phobia for it now? Erm.. I doubt so though. Or maybe, i just dun feel like being restrained by anyone, i dun like having to report to somebody every now and then. Loving someone is easy, keeping that love is hard. I realised it is true. Well, wad the FuCk... I'm only 17, dozens of men out there to look at, y keep myself from that freedom right? HA! And i haven't had a taste of Americans neh... HeH! Like pervert. Fact is americans is still my choice. I used to dream of marrying an ang moh. However, it seems a bit distant lor. heH! Well, i just gotta work it! HeH!
Tomorrow BSB's album gonna be out, gonna go buy. HEe~ They are the ones who made me fall in love with music and also, fall in love with Americans. Hee~ Do bear in mind, they are the ones who changed the perspective of the 12-yr-old me. And i can say, assuringly, that they are also the one, who changed my life as a young teen back then. My life is led this way, is partially because of the music they've written. Fanatic fan u might say but that's the truth, they are the reason for who i am today.
I know it's over, I know I can't turn back time, but i just wanna let you know, u have been part of my life.
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