有一些话想说...

终于开始了新的生活。

曾有一时，你的一切是让我微笑的原因。也是你，让我找到我失去的微笑。你的手触动了我的心， 你的每一句话感动了我的生命。 但我早该知道， 这一切只是一场美丽的梦...

虽然应该醒来了，但一部份的我仍在梦里， 坚持不要结开这个节。如果说我不能拥有美梦成真的一天， 那么请让我拥有这场梦的主宰，不要夺走我唯一剩下的快乐...

在你说出我不想听的话时，我哭了... 从没想过原来你所说的一切能那么轻易地动摇我安静的世界。你对我说了“对不起”，我只能说， “这一切不是你的错。”

缘份这种东西并不是谁能控制的。或许它在我们之间开了个小玩笑， 但也因为这玩笑让我好好地爱过了一回。真希望这缘不要走的太远。

假如我们还能继续的话， 不知道结果会是如何？不知道我能否依然爱你... 如果可以再假如， 再说吧...

仍没后悔爱上这个本来不该爱的人。

以后我们的一切就交还给友谊的关怀与体贴去经营吧... ...

我还是我， 张爱萍。Smiling On...

New Skin...

Hee~ I got a new blogskin... Nah... I kind of just edited their "pick New" skin.. Took me so long to get wad it is like now... But, i did it after i finished studying, so i didn't waste time... However, i haven't really finished studying, still need to do overall revision...

I kind of like wad i did to the skin... But some effects doesn't seem available... Coz it's different on my Desktop and Laptop... Well, doesn't matter... Still looks good.

Kk... Need to go do my revision... CiAo!

TuesdAy Like today...

I woke up at 9am today... Darl is again my great alarm clock, coz he smsed me b4 my alarm rang... HA!!! So i went to wash up and all, began mugging... WahAHAHA!!!

MuG mUg muG until very hungry so i went to eat the FiShbALly noOdles that PAPA bought... Guess wad? There were 6 fishballs inside... Heh Heh... *gRiN* Finished it.... SO So Nice... After that, went back to study... No idea why, i kept sneezing and sneezing and sneezing like nobody's business and i finally used up the box of tissues.... HAHA!!! I think there must be a lot of pple thinking of me, if not, i wun sneezed until like that... Hee~

Darl was sms-ing me telling me bout his long trip to bedok, so i entertained him, since he woke me up and i can study... hee~

After a while, Yuting called me... So i slowly touched here and there until the rain came upon... Wad ThE! But still, gotta go out coz Yuting waiting... YayA... U know wad? I nearly fell down lAH... And it's like i nearly split onto the wet wet floor... Scare the living daylight out of me, although there wasn't much light around due to the rain... HeH HeH!

Anyway, met up with Yuting, i was busy being surprised coz i thought Yuting was at Westmall, she suddenly appeared in front of me... U pple know me lah, i dun really look when i walk... She suddenly stood up, so i was shocked... When another shock came by... I turned my head to the right side and i saw some freak opening his arms... Heh hEh! It was Darl... Scare me again... He just came back from Bedok... NuTs...

YayA, so went to have a tea at coffee bean with yuting and we chit chat quite a lot... Had quite a bit of laugh... And stop joking bout Silk Pro and Silky girl.. Sickening... Then, met up with Qiang, Hun, Ming and Zhi... And began eating... They were talking their games while Yuting and I look at each other and smIle... HAHA!!! CrApS!!!

These guys ar, cannot make up their mind one lor... So sickening... Go Mac say wanna eat ice cream then sit there dun wanna move... ArgH!!!! buAy tAhAn!!!

So we walked from westmall to photocopy shop, to Mac, to Westmall, to photocopy shop then went back... Wah Lao... I wanna CrY Ar!!! But it's only with them that i can feel this kind of feeling lah... Still the same old 5A1 i know... WAhAha!!!

Anyway, went to SlAp dArl just now and I told Mad bout my hair... He looked stunned... Then i kept repeating, "NVm, nVm" HAHA!!! he wanted to trim it for me, i say no need coz it doesn't matter lah... And darl needs my hair on the 10th... Heh HEH HeH!!! But Mad still looks worry... Ooo.. And he looked sick, he looks like those drug addicts... HEh HEh! So i asked did he take drugs... But of coz not, coz he cuts hair and he just bought a PHONE! dAmn...

Anyway, Darl was asking me bout borrowing books coz he never borrowed book from national Library b4... K, if i was the me from a month ago, i would find it weird but now, no... Coz my Aunt, being 40, just borrowed book this year and she thought she needs to pay for borrowing, laugh my head off... Heh HeH! So it's normal for a Msian not knowing how to borrow... So i explained to him and all and even borrowed my IC to him lah... So scared he'll lost it... Ex wor...
Well, he just got his Com, so got lots of things to learn... In fact, i just hung up on him after asking all his questions...

Back Home, carry on mugging MIEC... goSh... So tedious... I'm done with the first 6 chapters? Ya... I'm left with the 4 market structures to study... Ya... Another Mugging day tomorrow... Will Enjoy it... Although it felt weird without candies to guide me... HeH! But nah... Got Milo... No Tea... ArgH... Wanted to buy just now... Sickening...

YayA... Gonna go brush up and probably turn in soon...

Ooo... Aiai told me bout my god-Baby... JeDdy... The Silky Terrier(oMg! Another Silk somthing? Silky Girl, Silk Pro, Silky Terrier? GoSh...) HAhA!!!! He iS so So cUte... MuAck Him... Will visit him after My eXam... heh HEH!!

I used to love you too much... Now, I love you but I'm learning to love myself more... Because then, I will forget about those painful love...

ToWn ToWn Town

Went to town today... Hai... I was quite tired lor... Then the bus went off right infront of me again... I hate it when it happens... It always happens... Sickening...

Anyway, I was very late... Met up with Jiawen and Joan at Kino... Then went for lunch although i didn't eat a proper meal coz i wasn't hungry... Had Joan's cookiess, like the chocolate chips, it's YuMMy... Hee~

Then, went on to shop around and around and around Taka... I saw a really nice GUESS belt... For god sake, Y must it appear at this time?! Argh... When i'm all broke... It's so nice... But it's $99.... Guess Wad? It's on my waiting list... HAHA!!! After exam, i'm gonna work work work to get the belt... Arghh... I'm gonna get it!!! By any MeANs!!!! HAHA!!! OOo... And Giodano got really nice Tees... And Zara too.. I'm like so broke to get anything... I bought 2 pathetic blue pens... So sAd... Ok, at least i bought pens... Bought something... DOTs...

After that, we went to drink something at coffee bean, and talk some craps... Ok, i saw a very suave guy... I'm serious... The 2 girls didn't noticed i was looking at this guy sitting opposite us.. He's so cute u know... He's face is like blushing... So cuTe... HAHA!!! Shhh... I'm looking at guys... Hee~ Anyway, after that, we went off, ya, and that ends off the day out...

Oo... I went to buy a small slice of chocolate cakes for Lao ma... Her BD today... Hope it's nice... Hee~

Ermm... Dear called me just now, telling me bout the newly renovated OHS Ballroom... ermm.. I wanna go see... MUSt See... Hee~ Can't wait to go back to work after exam... Wanna earn moNey...

K, another slack day today... Need to wake up super early tmr to study study study... MIEC... Hai...

Ooo... I ate a doughnut just now... WahAHAHA!!! YuMMy!!! Love doughnuts.. Never fails to brighten my day... Heh Heh Heh...

OK, i finally finish my Antibiotics... Geez... Its so not nice to eat medicine... Especially antibiotics when u have to complete the whole big packet of more than a dozen pills... GoSh.. Good news is, I finished it toDay!!!

O yA... AiAi granted me wish of becoming her new pUppy's GoD-mother... WahHAHa!!! So now, i'll DeCLaRe, I'm the goD-mother of AiAi's PupPy... WAHAHAHAHA!!! WaNNA SEE IT!!! MuSt be Cute...

YayA... O ya, saw Richard'd new Apple i-pod U2 or somthing... So cool lah... Rich man... Hai... I'm so GreeN... Too bad cannot be i-pod's godmother... HAHA!! KiDDing...

List of need-to-save-and-buy:
1. Converse sneakers
2. New Specs
3. Guess belt
4. New Haircut and highlight
5. New Hp(Still considering)

Ending my Blog... NiGHt!

CiAo!

From Joan

Saw this on Joan's blog... Interesting, so I copied it... hee~ here Goes...

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Ai Ping
2. Apple
3. For some reasons, Pighead, Idiot, Zhu, Ah Po....

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUTYOURSELF:
1. My NoSe
2. My Height
3. My little eyes... Yes, they're small but CuTe!

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON’T LIKEABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My wideness
2. My short face
3. My big thighs

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. ChinA
2. SinGapore
3. ChinA-SinGapore, HAHA!

THREE THINGS YOU CAN’T STAND:
1. Troubles
2. Lameness...
3. Arrogance

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Cockroach (One will bring me on my tabLe)
2. BuTteRfly (YES!!! SO DiSguSting)
3. GinSeng...

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SHOWS:
1. CSI
2. Charmed
3. Desperade Housewife

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE JAPANESEANIME:
1. Samurai X
2. Cardcaptor Sakura
3. The thing that is a combination of human and demon?

THREE OF YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONGS:
1. 183Club - Yi Ba San
2. Harlem Yu - Jing Jing de
3. BSB - How did I fall in love with you?

MOVIES YOU CAN WATCH OVER ANDOVER AGAIN:
1. TitAnic (Already watched it for more than 5 times)
2. LAke House (RomAntic...)
3. Stephen Chow and Jacky Chan's Movies

THREE MOVIES YOU WOULD LIKE TO WATCH:
1. Monster House
2. The Break Up
3. Harry Potter Sequel

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Water
2. Toilet
3. Bed

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHTNOW:
1.Garfield Tee
2. 19 Black Bands
3. 6 ear studs

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Love
2. Happiness
3. Hugs and Kisses

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THEOPPOSITE GENDERTHAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Butt (*important HA)
2. Hair (Style it pLease)
3. NosE (Pretty ones...)

THREE BAD HABITS:
1. Biting the back of pens, pencils, all stationaries to be exact.
2. Saying "Sickening"
3. Showing my bunny teeth... HA!!! It's Cute...

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Sleeping
2. Reflecting (Both in front of the mirror and in my mind)
3. Watching TV

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLYBADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Go OUT!
2. HUG HIM
3. Make a new pair of specs...

THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING ORCURRENTLY PURSUING:
1. Hotel GM, HAHA!
2. Owning a pastry shop... But i can't bake...
3. Tai Tai... HA!!!

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ONVACATION:
1. Taiwan, Taipei
2. USA, NewYork, California
3. Spain, Barcelona

THREE KIDS’ NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Ai Ping
2. Ai Ping
3. Ai Ping (Wad The....)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFOREYOU DIE:
1. Be A Billionairre
2. Find the man that loves me more than I love him
3. Marry that man and have a family...

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARESTEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL (orguy):
1. I wear panties
2. I have boobs
3. I love MEN!!!

INITIALS OF THREE CRUSHES:
1. Ermm... AJ MClean
2. Tom Cruise
3. ermm... Leave this blank...

Ya... Hope u have fun looking...

SLacking

ThIs looks so So niCe... Too Bad... Too Bad...

Such a slacking day... I didn't follow my timetable... Hai... Woke up at 1pm today, very late... Smsed Yuting coz she wanted to meet up for lunch... She smsed me at 2plus am, and well, i was fast asleep, i sent her a very weird sms, which i kind of laughed my head off when i read it again... HAHA!!!! Anyway, met up with her, went for her good meal, and we walked around. After that, i treated her a cake. Hee~ Nice... After chatting and all, we went to get a drink, find a sit and talk... Hee~ Chit ChAt like girls Should... hee~ She bought alcohol drink(under my brilliant guidance) and she got really red later... The redness can't subside... HAHA!!!! And i could smell alcohol from her mouth... Cannot stand it... OmG... And i was laughing at her... But also a bit worry so got her an Ice Mountain...

Went to find Darl while Yuting was resting her giddiness and redness... Can u believe wad Darl tried to do? KiSS me... He grabbed my head so hard lah... So DOTS.... No WAY!!! Ooo... ANd i showed him my unbalanced hair... HAHA!!! Didn't dare to go tell Mad coz afraid Richard will scold him, so ya, kept quiet until today.. hee~ I decided to entrust my hair to him for his Test on Sep 10... HAHA!!! Hope he wouldn't make a mess out of it... Heh HeH HeH!!!

Anyway, wanted to go have dinner after the chatting with Darl but see Yuting like dying liao, so asked her to go back... So i head home myself too... 6plus pm already, watched TV till 8plus... Then started studying MIEC.... Hai... Nah, didn't do much.... Still at the beginning... So cham... Friday is the exam!!!! ArGh... Slacker! ME!

Wanted to go JB to shop tomorrow but no cash and no company... Stil in the process of discussing where to go tomorrow... Hai... Study...

Discussed with yuting just now, gonna make a chalet during the holiday for 5A1(2005), Yes! We're gonna do it!!! So, dun reject us... It's like so important coz we miss 5A1 So So muCh...

Ooo... Did AiAi get angry with me? Coz Xin Zhi called me AiAi and i called him AiAi no.2? HAHa!!!! SOrry Aiai... I will be faithful to you... HAhA!!! So cUte... LoVe my AiAi...

Am I supposed to laugh or cry? Bitterness lurks within my laughter... Sadness took over my bitterness... Do you know how much I wish to love you more?

Friends

It's like 11plus pm... And we just board the MRT at Pasir Ris, on a Monday night... That's Si en and Me.....

Beautiful... No, i'm talking bout the background...

Just a blog...

I was studying for BSTA a while ago... Ya, i stopped at chapter 3... Heh HeH... Feeling kind of bored... So decided to stop for a while... Now, listening to songs... Gonna take a quick rest and continue to finish till chapter5...

While studying, i was looking at my longs nails... I trimmed 2 of the nails yesterday coz there're cracks on it... Ya... Wondering wad my nails will look like if i paint it Maroon... HEh Heh... Devilish... HEh! Just some boring thoughts that came across my mind...

Ermm... I couldn't sleep last night. No idea why... Dun worry, it's not anything bout what happened... I was just tossing and turning on my bed thinking bout wad i'm gonna do to my bed after exam... HAHA!!! See, my room is damn messy, so, yes, there's a very good reason why i couldn't sleep coz of my room...

So, decided that i would sleep till really later today but Darl smsed me at 10plus... Seems like he is a great alarm clock, coz i always wake up when he smsed me(he always is the 1st to sms in the morning). HAHA!!! He was telling me he lost his wallet at home, so i was like, "How can u lost ur wallet at home?" HAHA!!! I kind of just anyhow replid him coz i was damn tired... Slept till 12plus... Woke up, 1st thing was to tell Darl not to worry bout his wallet... Ya... Then proceed to eat lunch...

Gosh... I took a long time to finish my lunch coz today's dishes weren't good. Shh... But i managed to finish them lah... Then, took my medicine... Ya, been a medicine-slave the last few days... Heh Heh...

"I love you dear dear"
"Did you send to the wrong person?"
"Is you la"
"Orh... Ok... Love you too Darl Darl"
"kiss kiss"
"*flying kisses* sent to you"
If only those were real... If only...

Guilt...

Very bad of me... Supposed to go for fireworks with some of the ex 5A1 dudes but I put their aeroplane... HAHA!!! K, 1st, i woke up with fever(Ya, agAin...) and i wasn't in a really good condition to go far... So i told yuting that i couldn't go le... Heh HeH! In the end, my fever subsided in the afternoon... Heh Heh... But for caution sake, i didn't resume my "organizer" status... HAHA!!!

Instead, i asked AiAi out for tea... Coz i haven't see her for very long... Ya... We went for movie.. I promised to make this part fascinating... So look carefully ar... We went to the toilet, she was infront of me, suddenly, something dropped and I got a little shock... Guess wad drop? Her shoe... HAHA!!! NVM... I laughed it off... After our movie, we went to the same toilet, and the same thing almost happened, and I laughed AgAin!!!! HAHA!!! So FunNY lAh!!! ANyway, i still love her, although she is clumsy... Heh HeH!

Ermm... We watched "My Super Ex Girlfriend"... Hilarious movie.. It'd be damn cool if i got that sort of power... HAHA!!! Y aren't there meteorites in Singapore? HAHA!!!

Saw yuting and her "ZHu" at the escalator then i realised they were not going for the fireworks... Hai...

People i got a new Darl... HAHA!!! Darl as in Darling, Darl... Ya, with the "L"... Ya... GUess who? ASk me... It's someone familiar... Well, that's the best way things can go...

Went to VK just now b4 meeting AiAi, coz i waited for quite a while... Went to send THEMES(YA, AGAIN) to him... I think i looked weak in some ways, he said i look pure... Ermm... Maybe... Mad was playing with PSP lah, wah kAO, and that PSP is white... HeLLo! Stop being so rich can? And he changed phone!!!! WTH!!!! SO RICH LAH! He turned around and said, "Apple, u sick ar?" I was like, "So obvious meh? Eddie came over and touched my forehead, i'm like, "Ermm.... Please..." WAdEveR...

Tell u all something, Richard said he, 'Miss me' and 'Love me'... HAHA!!!! CuTe right?! HEh HEH HEh... miss my technology gadgets i guess... HAHA!!! (Laugh, this part is suppose to be funny)

I tried to turn away from you but I can't bring myself to do so... You touched me again, and I can't resist it again... You smiled to me... But I dared not look into your eyes no more... So, we made an agreement... I hope that holds...

Well...

Ermm... Nothing much happen today... I drew up my study plan(Finally...) for the coming week and this weekend. I've decided to slack till tmr... Hee~ Time to start studying real real hard for the first exam in Poly...

Well, everything was quiet today... Too quiet i guess... Well, Dear called me and told me wad she saw.. Shock was the 1st reaction, sadness flows along with it... Well, no point lah...

Cravings for Mushroom today after my kor fried the mushroom egg... But i can't eat egg... Sickening... So i told mama to cook mushroom soup for me... HAHA!!! No lah, its for all of us... YuMMy!

I finished the chocolate mA bought for me yesterday....Shhh... I ate chocs again... Aganist my rule... HAhA!!! ShHhhh... Dun tell anyone oK!

Was organising the outing for 5A1 tmr... Hai... The guys hor... Really dunnoe when they will grow up lor... Cannot keep quiet and listen... Sickening... HAHA!!! They're still themselves... Still as sickening...

Ermm... Really got nothing to do at home... I just munched on anything i think i can eat... Logging on and off line, touching my laptop, lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, building sand castles... So Omg!

SiCkening...

I found the person he told me about.. She seems like a person with a cute personality... Ha!

Well... Life like this is better off i guess... Silent... In my own world... Dun have to worry bout any other thing... JUst me and wad i wanna care bout... Just me and my imagination... BlACk and WhItE... Colours coloured my world sometimes... Just like that... That's all i need now...

Ooo... I was thinking bout cutting my hair short recently... u know, i'm kind of sick of the long straight black-brown hair... It has been there since sec 2 or 3? My last short hair was sec1, that was mushroom head... thinking of something more style now... Ermmm... Still thinking lah.. Anyway, it'll be until next month then i'll do wad i wanna do... And will start stepping up for the weight-losing thingy, and will start changing style... Be ready to see a different me... After all the things that have happened the past couple of weeks... Ya, i supposed it's time for a new lifestyle, a new me...

Changes are inevitable in life... It is when we decide to change and how...

You trigger every little thing that is happening in my life from this moment...

You...

It felt wrong when I heard about you...

It didn't feel right when I received your sms anymore...

It felt wrong when u apologized to me...

It is so not you from before...

Why must everything become so strange between us? Why must our conversation contains figment of politeness? Why can't we be just friends?

I miss you a lot... But I dare not say it to you anymore...

NDP 06...

Some pics b4 i begin...
Ah mah and my 2 aunts came to visit us this noon.. Heh HeH!!! So funny, ah mah kept telling me wad she bought ask mama cook and everything... I was like, "Orh... Orh.... Ok" Hee~ Then, they left after a while...

An hour plus later, Dear came to visit me... Somebody lost her way at Bukit Gombak... HAHA!!! She actually walked all the way to Swiss Cottage when my house is on the opposite side... Told her just now, "got phone, dunnoe how to call ar?" HAHA!!! She spent the next few hours at my house talking talking, watching TV and all... Then we were looking at my pictures on my laptop... Heh HEH!!! Until 6plus... Then she very bo liao, just to take picture, we went down from level8 to level1, then from level 1 to level12 then all the way down again... Sickening... While waiting for bus, we were talking and talking, when the bus went right pass us and we were like, "YOUr BUS AR" HAHA!!!! Funny ar, my dear...

Well, he smsed some craps again... Craps it may be, laughters it brings... WAd ThE Hell!!!! HAHA!!!

I replied Joan's mail... Some random thing that she does... Heh HeH!

Well, i spent the rest of the night at home doing nothing.. Practically just finding things to eat... Heh HeH! And watching NDP06... It was cool... Every year, without fail, it amazes... Of coz it does... It's my country OK! It's also my birthday lah! BlEh!!! HAHA!!! O, the fireworks look so cool... Hope Friday i'll be fit enough to go Esplanade to watch... Hee~

We're 41!!!!!! Middle-aged but still young... Heh HeH!!! SinGaPore, SinGapore... I was singing the National anthem and reciting the pledge Ok! I'm a LoyAl citizen... Ain't easy to be a country, so i'm so so proud of this little red dot that i've spend my 18 years in... WahAHHAHA!!! LoVe U!!! here's to Another 41 years! By then, i'll be 59... OmG! HAHA!!!

I still feel you... Wonder when will you leave me for good? But then again, I can't bear to see that...

Chalet...

Monday morning... Went to school for BSTA revision lecture, no, not lecture, went to listen to exam format... WaD ThE! It was supposed to be 2hours but it ended 20min later, i was like, "Huh? Finish?!" So, decided to go get a hair cut... Y? Head too heavy, frindge getting on my nerves and just wanna get rid of some stuff... So, i called VK, asked Richard whether they free not... Jiawen and Joan went with me, but they didn't stay there with me, instead, they went to walk around...

Andy was the one who cut my hair... Ermm.. We chatted about some stuff... And he actually remembered he cut my hair b4 once, and rebonded for me once... HA! So i was like, "Tao Yan, u remember..." hee~ Me.... Then he used the hair dryer to blow my body... HAHA!!! Coz i was like, sweating and sweating... Heh HeH! He is so cute... And he was like," So, u wanna change your mind?" I told me, "NO... Dun have to..." He started getting serious and said he likes more mature ones... I kept laughing lah... Wad's there to be serious bout... So dots... Conclusion, he's a nice guy... short guy... HAHA!!!

Went back for Juniper's BSTA extra lesson... Whole didn't turned up except for Jiawen Joan and me... The rest are a bit mean lah hor... However, we did understand better bout hypothesis testing...

Afterwhich, went to meet Dear... I waited for quite a while bah... Until the train came and i saw her hair... And i concluded, she just woke up... HAHA!!!! Imagine... We stood all the way to Pasir Ris until the stop b4 the last... HAHA!!! Somebody told me second stop... Dun deny le dear... Xueni came to get us... Then we went in... Took a few pics, put my bag down and went to BBQ pit... Saw AStley!!!! So long never see him liao!!! HAHA!!! He grew fatter but the same old drunked... HAHA!!!

So we were eating, drinking and chatting till the sky is dark... Dear and I went to Ka Jiao Siqi's son, Davin Koh... So CuTe... He's 4 this year... And Siqi is pregnant le... HAHA!!! I touched her tummy... It felt so good... Soft soft de, felt normal but knowing that there's a life inside is so fascinating... HaHA!!!!

Later in the night, th rest of the departments came and I saw LAu... Turned around, JP standing there... i'm like, "Ermm... He's wearing Singlet..." HAhA!!!! JP happen to be OHS F&B director... Ha!!! And Dear told me Ivan was there too... Ya, saw him in red...

When i went there again later, he called out to me, "AH PO!" HAHA!!! Only he will call me that lah... I saw Si Wei too... She slimmed down so so much... So pretty... Time for Honey to have a make-over... HAHA!!!

Ok, JP scared me when we were bout to leave... went to bid goodbye to all, when he suddenly stood infront of me and said, "Y u leaving? You come here then stay upstairs, nv come down, then leaving?" I'm like, "I was here just now b4 u all came..." And laugh laugh laugh... Scare me lah... Then, i shouted 3 times, "Bye IvAn" But think he didn't hear me lah... After i walked a distance, he suddenly shout out, "AH PO!" So ya, guess the rest told him i was calling him... Then i shouted, "BYE IVAN!"

Ooo... Vincent Ah pek was there too... As usual, he's so crappy... HAHa!!!

Overall, i loved last night... It was a long journey back home though...

I had a really tough day today... I am SICK... Ya, a general name, SICK! Dun tell u the sickness... So i'll be resting damn long... Hai... Health is so so important...

He told me he got a computer le... I was like, "GoOD!" Hope he wun read my blog... I'm such nonsense...

MamA cooked me Fish porridge... YummY...

Anyway, in much pain now... So here's here... HA!

If only we were what we used to be, I may just kiss you on your cheek and say goodnight...

today...

A lot of things happened today but i'm too tired to blog... Wait for me... One more day...

I'm gonna disappear for a while so it'll be normal if i dun blog...

A life changing experience...

I still miss you...

EEEEE... HHHHHH...If u can understand

I cried myself to sleep again... I thought about u throughout the silent night... Wondering are you doing well...

Woke up in the morning feeling your presence, but all I had was my pillow... I looked at my phone waiting for u to send me an sms, like u always did, even if it is just a simple, "Good Morning Dear..." I waited and waited but my phone remained quiet...

I pulled myself away from my bed and read wad i've written for you... I held back my tears... To keep the love going...

I decided to ask you whether u r free after work... U said u would be, but i just wanna leave u that letter, on your car... I did... I took a glance at the piggy that i always held on when i was on your car... But now, it is out of reach, just like u to me...

I told u that i've left wad was left of me on your car. But u asked me whether I wanna have dinner with you... I hesitated but told u to come if u wish... I saw u walked onto the escalator from afar, and saw u moving further and further away from me... I know by then, i've lost u...

U said u are not gonna join me for dinner because u feel sick, i told u to go back home and rest well, u replied and said, "Ya, I will, thanks..." I added on, "dun miss me too much..." And u replied, "I will too..." I wanted to cry but I stopped myself and smile at your unshield love... And told u to rest very well...

I told u to read my letter but u said u wouldn't, u'd rather to keep them as great memories... I insist u do because those were the memories with a tinge of request... U said no... I can only smile...

I lost myself when i let go of your arms... How i wish i can hold u again, hold u tightly...

Well, enough of my emotional self i guess... I need to wake up somehow... Today, Ashril, Si En, Ben Koh smsed me... It's so weird... Honey called me... Normal... AUNTY YIM CALLED ME, NOT NORMAL... HeH HEH!!! Funny how pple remembered me... Well, I'm apple right? Apple in everyone's eyes... Always there no matter rain or shine... I wanted to ignore them because of wad is going on now but i told myself not to because somehow, they dun owe me anything, they are my friends...

Well, trying to bring back my smiles without you... But it is hard to...

Lost... So lost...

I find myself foolish... But i can't seem to wake up...

Today, i realised how much i've given to you... I felt ur care for me... I wanted to shove them aside but i couldn't bring myself to do it...

U gave me your warmth that i dun think i can find elsewhere anymore...

U looked at me several times thinking i did not see you... But i did...

U tried to tell the story out loud, making everyone think it was your history, but then i was right there, knowing i was the one who told u all those u've illustrated... I wanted to keep my ears close, but i couldn't, because i wanna know wad u think...

U touched me again... I tried so hard to resist but somehow those touches were just too natural... It is hard to get rid of something which is always there...

I walked off taking your jacket along... I forgot it is yours... I went back and returned to u... Sniffing what was left of it, knowing i can't do that anymore... U said goodbye... I tried so hard not to look at u but i did...

I know all these are just a torture to me but i want to feel them... Because i still wanna see u... Even if it is just a glance... I am so foolish...

U said u have something for me, and u passed me 2 honeydews, like u always did... I felt that sweetness turned bitter because i know chances like that will seldom come by anymore... I smiled at you, having tears in my eyes, and waved goodbye...

I talked to my best friend and tears came rolling down my cheeks once again... She told me, "It hurts me to see u like that..." But Yuting, i can't helped it... I know u know that... I thought i could laugh it off but i realised i can't.

I walked home looking at places where u once stepped on and felt an ache in my heart... I'm sorry, myself, i can't help...

I heard you worked for 3 more hours and it hurts me again, to see u having so little rest...

It's in the silences, the words u never said. I see it in your eyes, it always starts the same way. I see you looked at me, when u think I'm not aware, u're searching for clues just how deep my feelings are... All I know is wad I feel when I look into your eyes...

From this moment on... I know it can never be...

Am i just too foolish? I still yearn your calls and touches... How did I fall into this? How did I fall in love with you? I dun seem to be able to let go...

Apple from him to me...

The last happiness I seek...

I lost u...

A day totally messed up... I lost wad was so precious to me... I could've held on but i chose to let go... I dun want something to be such a make-believe nor do i want you to suffer at all.

I thought everything was supposed to be... Everything seemed so perfect... I should've know that nothing can be perfect in this world. U can have something but be sure to lose something.

You came into my life offering me wad i lacked most but you left my life, lingering in my soul... Am i dreaming? Am i naive? I dun want to give up, i've yet to though... Because my heart still belongs to you...

I tried to make my day as normal as possible but i can't help but think of you. The look on your face when u saw me cry, the touch u tried to give but i pushed it all aside, the smile u squeezed from your face just to tell me u are alright and the smell that seems to keep coming when i laid in my quiet night... You seem to be everywhere when i know you're gone.

You told me u dun wanna give up, that u dun wanna let me go but that very heart of yours is too big for me to hold... U told me you couldn't sleep, that u felt the sense of loneliness and u told me i'm the cause of them all... I dun want u to linger no more... I tried utmost to tell u that wad is meant to be, shall be...

I woke up in the morning, with you by my side... No, u are just made-up by my simple mind... I hugged onto my pillow, feeling your arms wrapped around me, but i know, those were just me... Tears came streaming down my cheeks, unexpectedly... And u know, you are the cause of it...

I tried to pretend that everything was alright, to smile and laugh like i always do, but whenever i am alone, when nobody talks to me, my mind wonders off, to find that comfort zone where i used to be.

Despite the fact that you are gone, i know that you will always be there, so there... I hope you will be happy from this day on and dun let me take over your mind no more, because, there is someone else, you odd to have, to have your life taken over by... And I know, that is not me...

I miss you and I love you... Yet this essence of love can never be uncovered anymore...

I am sorry, friends... Dun ask me why, dun ask me wad happened... Give me some time before i tell u the truth... My mind is in a whirl now... Let me be... When u found tears in my smiles, please do not pursue the reason why. When u see me staring into the air, wake me up... When u no longer see my bubbly-self, find me and tell me that you are there for me... Thank You...

Sad....

Darn tiring day... Just a short blog.

Presentation caught me off guard, first time in my life, i didn't have the chance to complete my presentation. Feeling sux but well, wad to do, that's the given time frame.

Got BSTA paper back, great, i passed it really well, happy for myself, after the setback of the just-pass for my common test. Guess what? I went in the the test hall with my mind pretty much blanked... Too nervous but did all i could to get wad i had, so HAPPY! On the other hand, i falied my OCOM paper... Heh Heh! Hopefully all the table topics, class participation and group work will add up to a C bah... HoPe!

Very tired after ITR, so went back home after that. However, didn't sleep, i was busy doing the MIEC newspaper hardcopy... Then, i felt bored, so i swept the floor... HA!

I'm very angry with my mother... Why can't she understands that i hate it when she talks bad bout my friends? Especially him... Feel so sad again... I dun like her for being so not understandable bout wad i want and wad i yearn. It's not bout the looks, the money or the brain... It's bout the feeling... Besides, he's not bad looking, he's not poor and he got brain... And the feeling is there... Why can't she just let me be, let us be, let everything goes wherever it should... Until it ends... Even if it is a wrong move to fall for someone like him, y not just let it be? Coz i will have no regrets, coz i did it willingly, coz i want this... Something that is so precious to me yet she never understands me... I just wanna have it... Even if it is hell i'm heading, i chose it... It's me... It's all me... Why can't she just let me be? Regrets? Even if i have any, it is myself that is suffering... It's, afterall, part of growing up... Why can't she just comprehend this?

I'm tired from all these things happening... I'm once again, once the edge of breaking down... SLEEP!!! LOTS OF IT...

I dun wanna lose you to somebody so close to me...

Happy day!

There are a few things that I need to touch on today.

It was raining cats and dogs this morning, i woke up pretty early, so i did everything in a relax way and then walked out, taking much attention on my slippers, coz it's slippery.. Slipped a few times but didn't fall. Upon reaching Bus stop, wondered a little whether I'd bumped into Ping Hong or not, but well, i didn't.

At the interchange, again i was thinking whether i'd bumped into anyone familiar or not, obviously, i did not. All the way to school, i was ston-ing and staring into the cold air, hugging myself, trying to keep myself warm under the air-con. Then, i kind of remembered chatting with Wei Yi online last night, he wanted to meet us for some catching up but Ma cooked so i didn't go out. So i was thinking maybe meeting him later in the afternoon bah.

Before going for CIP, i nearly slipped again at the stairway and guess who caught me? My SiSter... HAHA!!!

So, CIP started. As usual, sat there trying to finish the tutorial and also to finish off the E-portfolio. Took quite a while but didn't manage to get it done. VK came to talk to me bout something which, as usual, i dun really catch, so i assumed he was telling me something bout the blog thingy, in the end, he got the wrong person, he thought it was me who told him bout some mails or wadever... Then, he began asking bout tagboard again so i spent some of my time telling him wad to do but he couldn't get wad i mean... Then, Mrs Ang caught all of us using MSN and kind of admonished us and told us to off it, so there went the convo. Was really thirsty so decided to grab a drink. Jiawen went with me. Who knows just minutes after we left, she let us off... HA!!! Well, went back and packed up.

Went to eat with them but i didn't eat coz i was full from the Soya Bean. After that, decided to leave, initially thinking of sleeping, then thought of Wei Yi. So i asked him out. This sickening guy make me wait for an hour, dunno how to tell me to go home first meh?! Ya, so from 11.50, waited till 1pm... FOR THESE 2 GUYs! Silong and Wei YI! BuAy Tahan... So, went to food court and chatted some stuff, and laughed all the way. Pretty happy to meet up with them, at least i caught some laughs. Somehow, i caught something more... I tried hard not to think bout it but somehow, i got some hints or something. K, let's just conclude that i think too much so ya, i think too much. Well, Wei Yi said NS is hard, he wants to study, and this time, he is determine to. Hopefully, he's sincere bout it, better landing in future. All the best to this friend of mine. Come to think of it, i knew him since Pri1... Wahh.... HA!

Anyway, after much walking around and a FREE Mocha ice blended from Coffee Bean, contributed by Silong, Wei Yi went to get his gf while Silong walked with me to interchange. Well, he, for some reasons, got to know bout this somebody who cuts my hair and i got no choice but to admit... It's so funny the way i reacted and the way he told me.. HAHA!!! So, we went pass VK, so i told him bout it, briefly and told him not to tell anyone... HA! Saw Vk pretty empty so i walked in to see the 2 GuyS! Heh hEh! They are pretty free.. Richard started asking bout the tag again, so i patiently tried to explain wadever i meant this morning. Then, i showed them some videos that i got in my lappy... Funny... Richard finished half and left to do some PS2 thingy while Andy was so entertained by the videos. He's funny, kept laughing and laughing even when i dun think it's funny... And imagine their reactiong when they saw the Cats' video... HeH! K, it's disgusting... Anyway, i was kind of tired so after all the videos, i said bye bye and left.

At home, didn't take nap, started to do the E-portfolio and completed it at bout 6plus 7. Then, i logged off after a little chat with ting coz i needed the loo... Hee~ After that, i watched TV the whole night... HAHA!

Then, papa called back 3 times lah... Kept asking me i wanna eat not coz i haven't eat... HAHA!!! Ok, so in the end, decided to go kopitiam with both pa and ma. Ya, so we went cycling... Hee~

Before i got on the bicycle, got an sms from sister... Well, SmiLe my sister! I'm so always there, whether u want me or not... :)

O ya, dear told me she fell down... Dunno wad happen... hope she's doing fine...

Going to OHS tomorrow to get my pay and to watch movie with Jiawen and joAn! WAHAHA!!! LAKE HOUSe!!!

Right... So these are the stuff that i wanna say. I had a wonderful day today... Especially seeing Wei Yi and Silong... I love today... 31st July 06

O... It's chinese Valentine's today... Happy Chinese Valentine's to ALL!!!

MuAcKs!

NiGht!

CiAO!

I wonder...