I slept pretty long today... Until Uncle DArling smsed me... So, we crapped a lot again... And somebody wants to have 2 boys and 2 girls... hAhA!!!
Then, Ting was telling me bout the wrong day of the zoo which kind of confused me a little but i concluded she was in school so i said, "Yaya, will tell u later..." Heh HEh... Smsed dear and she said she'd tell me later... Ok...
After eating my breakfast cum lunch, i started to stone infront of the TV... hee~ Love that feeling... Then i felt very rotted so i thought of going to do my dreamweaver... However, i changed my mind, went to wash my jacket and shoes... Hee~ coz the sun was shining bright... Right after i finished washing, Uncle darling called me... Wah lao, i rushed out to clean my hand dry... Then picked up the call, told him i was doing my washing, then he laughed, like i dunnoe how to do laundry... Wad kind of reaction sia... But did some chitter chatter with him, he was waiting for his appointment customer who was late to come... Suddenly, i rmbed that time when Ting and i went to rebond, we were late too... Coz i told ting to accompany me to go back to OHS to do some paperwork... Hee~ And we were late for about 1hour bah... Come to think of it, i dun really know Uncle darling then... Heh... How amazing things can change within the course of a few months... Funny how feelings can arouse out of no where and all of a sudden, he became the person who make me smile a little more and a person who made me see a lot more of just the small picture that i am cope with in life... Amazing...
Anyway, after that, i called Dear to ask her bout wad's the plan for the night... She was considering and all... Then, started to tell me bout wad's going on in OHS... Suddenly feel very weird, it used to be me telling them wad was going on in the hotel and now, they are telling me... I dunnoe, doesn't seem to have much for me to think bout the place anymore... It's really like they use us when they need us, when not in need, they'll dump us aside. Sometimes, thinking bout it, how many exactly are there in the hotel who we found as great friends? Who i can chit chat to even when i'm not at work? Who can lecture me bout life? I only found Bt kor... (excluding the PT staff).. A bit disheartening to see that, out of the big banquet team.... And probably from Christopher, Honey... Other than that, i found no one... However, i dun hold grudges, it is ultimately, still their choice to whether to keep in contact with us or to make us their best of friends... And somehow, i choose to believe that they once trust me... Had faith in me... From the fact that, they will still look up for me when there's VIP event, and most evidently, allowing me to take the post of PT coordinator out of so many others... It's an eye-opening experience, a growing chance, an opportunity to see in and out of how a team is run in an operation team and ultimately, it proves beneficial to where i am heading... Somehow, Wee Loon seems to have taught me something.... One cannot give up too much and take everything for granted, coz when the time comes and the opportunity comes, it is bout u grabbing it or letting it go... CHoose the right direction in life... HA..... Funny how a man like him can show me such profound meaning...
BAck to today... After hanging up on Dear, we went to prepare... Then, went to lot 1 to meet up with her... SAw yvonne's bf who is REALLY thoughtful... A bit over though but ha, Boyfriend mah... Then, met up with Aiying and yuting, and then head on to yuting's place... Lots of crap along the way... Anyway, her house feels so cosy... After all the screaming and shouting, ting arrived... Dear and i kind of rushed out a little but was there pretty fast... So went to walk around and settled down for Long John...
Started to feel a little tired... But still gotta pay the bills... So went to Westmall... Then went to library and borrowed some books then went to buy herbal tea... Afterwhich, really cannot tahan le... Wanna go home rest... Hee~
Uncle darling was telling me that he was really tired too... So told him to go back and sleep... But he said he would call...
Back home, i sat there, paralysed.. My ma came home and started asking me a lot of questions... Sometimes, i really dunnoe y she likes to ask those common sense question, so i got a little rowdy... And i was really tired... I tried my best to answer he qns very calm le til she kept asking and asking and i got really mad, i told her, "Dun ask le lah, i wanna watch TV, very tired le lah..." Then she started pointing out that i dun wanna talk to her, always giving her the fed up look but point is, i'm tired lor... Then she just kept going on, i got really angry, started to reason out with her that, wad's the big deal of being a girl? Must i do everything and anything, doesn't she understand that my life dun just revolve around the family but most part of it, is with myself... And she kept insisting my attitude sux, k, fine, my attitude sux, i know, but it only happens when i'm tired... Then, she brought back the matter of my kor throwing shoes... I was really furious lah... I dun even wanna think bout it and now she wants to bring it up... It's obvious is hi fault and now she said it's my fault for giving my attitude... Please, i didn't even start anything bad and the shoes came flying over and hit my face... I felt very sad lor... It's so obvious that she's siding him... I started tearing again... I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!! I dun even wanna say anything anymore... I'm always at fault.. I'm really tired of trying to be her good child... I told myself not to cry anymore... I'm not gonna cry over this family anymore, somehow, i know the facts already.... I want to handle this like an adult instead of crying... She began telling me that i always turn to my friends when family got problems, but she never think bout why i would turn to my friends... And she insists that my friends would look down on me... And then, i was angry again, told her never to insult my friends and she did that again... If i should be look down on, then there are many reasons i can look down on my friends, but will never do that coz i know they are true to me and i am true to them... ANd then it comes down, and i that stupid and blind to make friends with damn pple? She never understands... Y must i portray a happy portrait when it's not perfect? It's pretence... It's fake... It's not right... I can endure, i can hide but i can't run away from it... Reality remains as reality...
How i wish i can break free somehow...
Well, Uncle Darling called but i hid it from him... Showed nothing happened... Dun really want him to feel bad for me... So after some talking and laughing, i'm feeling better... Thanks Uncle darling...
Still, it ain't easy to get by... If it's gonna be that way, then let it be... I dun wanna cry no more... Just wanna live life as usual... Like i always do...
Going for Movie with yuting and Si en tml!!! Looking forward.. Need to sleep le... NIGHT!!!
Ciao!!!
Whenever I need a joke, you never fail to deliever it... Thank You...
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