Sunday, December 11, 2005

Take a look....

Since i can't sleep and i can't find someone to talk to bout something, so i come here and type something bah...

A year has passed by under my nose that quickly... A lot of stuff had happened, some are great, some are sad, some took my breathe away, some made me shed my tears, some make me smile and some just make me realised, i've grown up.

I used to think bout wad is it like to grow up, to be a woman, to make decisions of my own and to have a boyfriend. When i had the answers, i forgot the time when i wanted to know them so badly. And then i realised how much i've missed, in the midst of searching the answers. Really, think about it, how many pple actually remembered that they once thought bout some qns? Seriously, i've forgotten. When i sat down to think bout it, i only found out one thing, that i'm a grown-up.

When i was young, i have plenty of dreams, and i held on to it. As i grow older, the dreams became lesser coz i realised it's not easy to fulfill dreams. At a point of my life, i let go of all the dreams i used to have and focus on reality.

To be in love is not to sacriface the other stuff. I should've known but i made that mistake... I let go of my dreams for love... A foolish act. I might lost everything... All that i've worked for since i had a dream. I snapped out of that trap. It was hard to climb back on track when all the while, u were struggling to keep up. Now, i hold on to the dreams that i've always have.

Dreams are dreams, still, reality is there. I'm glad that my family is not as troubled as b4. I really suspect i had depression a few years back, it's just that i dunnoe. If not, y the sleepiness, the shutting up of myself and the dun-wish-to-bother. However, i was able to get out of it... With not much help, of coz... Now, i dun really have a lot of family probs le, except, the brothers' slacking too much issue, and the sometimes financial prob issue. I'm glad... Somehow, my family is able to survive through some of the darkest moments.. Still, it's dark, u dun wanna know...

Friendship... With the departure of a few pple from school and class, things are different. Without them, i find it hard for time to pass... True, i miss them... When they're around, i never treasure them well, but when they've left, something seems to be missing as well... It's a good thing that now, they are still around me, still able to come out once in a while. Sometimes, the closest pple doesn't necessary means the best friends... Recent happenings haven't really give me a good reflection of closest pple being the best friends... HEH! However, there are pple close to me who are real to me... I'm glad...

Looking for love... But i'm holding back... No idea y... Probably waiting for the ideal one... My ideal one... I can finally make out my type of guy... HAHA! Wad i look for in a guy is something only I know... It's ok bout the race, the religion, or the language(i'm a sinagporean right?! I dun care bout that), nothing bout the age, just not too old... Dun wan anyone younger though. An ok-looking person, a stable job, if not, someone who have an aim(if he's studying), who's able to control his spending and still have surplus. There're a lot more lah, u know, who wants to ask for the minimum when u can ask for the maximum! HAHA!!! but most importantly, HE lOves Me, and I loVe him BACk!!!! A passionaTe Onee!!!! hee~ Hopefully, a romantic one... HAHA!!! Too much for a girl like me!!! hee~

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