Disheartenings

Sometimes, I just feel like the whole world is against me... I really don't know what I did wrong. If anyone could see this post, I want to address my grievances, the fact that I'm forced into being in debt for the next 3 decades of my life. The fact that I decided to move out of my house, the fact that I'm always the most unwanted amongst them... Am I so unworthy of their care?

 I'm so stressed out sometimes, but I refused to tell anyone, why?! Because I don't want anyone to worry so much about me, except me. I act as if I'm worry-free, as if I ignored every single Important matter but who knows me? More than me? Nobody cared about how I feel moving out, nobody thinks I'll feel sad or even miss this house, all they do is argue with about the things they want, things they want to move to my house, the money that may never come back, the rooms that they can want... What about me? It's like I'm supposed to leave. It's like it should have been me...

 Why am I always pushed aside to fend for myself while everyone else are kept safe in the shelter... Why am I considerate? It was just a bloody game of mahjong that I played through the night and my friends and I giggled to our jokes and you had to send a nasty message to make me feel bad? What about the times you fucking phone rings non-stop at night when you were texting your wife, while I was tired and trying to fall asleep? What about those days when your fucking alarm clock rings non-stop and you refused to get up until somebody actually wakes you up? Did I ever throw a nasty message at you? Did I even say anything to make you feel bad. It was just one night after almost 6 months of mj absence. You had to throw your tantrum. Why?

I'm sorry, but the only reason I can think of is that your wife is mad at me for not playing with her! And you are just angry with me because u feel I disrespect her. In fact, everything I do, u all feel is disrespectful. I feel pity for myself, having to compromise with such craps. Rest assure, this will be the last game in this house.

And I won't be nice anymore.