Unsang...

Intended to slack the whole day at home today but ting smsed to go and chill outside. So agreed to it.

She went to cut her fringe first which looks new lah... HAha! Not bad...

Went on to Yishun, North point, on the way there, we shared quite a bit of stuff and everything were so interesting, so much so that we came to realise so much.

Reached North point , we found starbucks, bought our coffee, sat down. It was silence at first coz there really ain't a point for us, perhaps, for me to start anything. Then, we started talking but throughout the whole convo, though i was listening, most part of my mind was thinking bout the question, whether to ask the question. Told Ting, and she asked me do i wanna know, if i want to, i do have the right to ask.

After much pondering, the courage just came. I guess most part was because, ting was by my side, one of the sources that gave me the courage to send that sms. But also, mostly coz i am really tired of giving and never getting something... O well...

I am both happy and sad... Happy coz i got his honesty, sad coz the answer is not something i wanna hear at all. It has been a struggle, then again, this whole relationship has been a struggle ever since it began...

I am trying to be calm and to keep the best rationality that i can find at that point of time. I realised i can do it if i want to... If i can bear to just let it go, everything would be easier. I hope, everything will be easy on me from this point onwards. Now that he gave me a sort of unwilling honesty, he can go his way with things, i can start moving on from where I am now... No longer waiting for him... No longer feeling sad...

As he had said before, chances are given by pple, i grabbed hold of this chance, if he has his way, he can leave... I am still me, with or without him.

It will be hard to do this... Always hard... I am confident that i can do this all over again... He had got 2 shot at this, he didn't cherish it well enough... I am waiting to see how things turn out... It is just another part of my life that i am going through...

Devastated still... But I feel better than being locked down by lies... Maybe this is the end of my misery or perhaps another beginning of sorrows... I am still me i guess...

I am working hard to getting wad i want...

Gonna turn in early tonight, in search of my deepest soul... To really know wad I want ultimately...

I had a chance of loving someone I love... I had a chance of happiness shared with him... I had a chance of feeling the deepest pain from him... I had my chance of giving him my all... Now that the chance is over, I am taking this chance and moving on... It won't be easy... I know... But life goes on with or without you, your chances. You had a chance, but you let it slipped pass you, maybe it is time for me to venture out, into another world... Till then, you are still the one I love...

A story to share:
One day, a lady went to the airport, waiting to go onboard. While waiting, she bought a magazine and a packet of cookies, she put them into her bag.

She found a seat at the waiting area, so she sat down, took out her magazines to read, and her cookies to munch on. She realised that the guy beside her is taking her cookies to eat as all, whenever she took one to munch, the guy did the same.

Until the last piece... She was thinking, "Let's see if you will take the last piece..." Indeed, the guy took the last piece, but instead of eating it himself, he broke it into half and gave the half to the lady. The lady was furious, she stood up and glared at the guy but the guy could only smile back. She thought, "Damn, you took my cookies and now you dared broke it into half and give me!" She walked away.

Onboard the plane, she was still angry at the guy. She opened her bag and realised her cookies was still in her bag, the cookies that she was munching on just now belonged to the guy but she thought it was hers. She even glared at him...

She felt sorry but wad's done can never be undone...

Moral of the story:
Once a stone is thrown, it can never be retrieved.
Once a word has been said, it can never be taken back.
(Supposed to have 4 morals but the story-teller forgot.)