Ridiculous...

Suddenly got this very bad feeling bout the entire exam. Feel like I'm not going to do well at all and i am serious. I dun even know what i've studied for tmr's paper went into my head not. And the last 2 papers, i haven't really touch them at all. How? Feel so lost... Wanna tell myself that everything is gonna be fine but everything doesn't seem fine at all... Have u felt like that before? How i wish i can just shut myself off from the outside world and do things on my own, without having to answer anyone's enquiry. I hate being someone who everyone can approach to. Given the circumstances that i have now, can i just turn away from everyone and do everything on my own? Am i really in the right class? The right course? The right place? How come some people can be so easy? They just drop out of it? Haven't they waste enough time? I dun have any courage to do anything that outrageous but that doesn't mean it didn't cross my mind. How can i not fall from where i used to be? How to find myself from where i was b4? Is it too hard for me now? Am i giving up again? Well, i guess i'm just too stress... Need to discipline myself a little bit more. Well, the thoughts of every other thing shall, from this moment on, be shut down from my mind.

Emotions ain't a good thing to play with. Why must so many things happened at this point of time? I dun really want anymore advice anymore. I'm on my own.

If it wasn't me... If I am more direct... My life is full of indirect... Y can't i be more selfish??? Have been telling myself again and again to be selfish... I did... But most of me remain naive... Disability to advantage myself. Suck so much...

CIP= Computing and Info Technology
1. Web design and computer security
2. Health, access and the environment
3. Ethics and intellectual property rights
4. E-portfolios
5. Emerging techonologies
6. PBL
7. VoIP- Voice over Internet protocol

Like how much do i remember bout wad i've read through the last few days... Now, everything seems blank in my mind... I tried so hard yet nothing seem to be there... What's exactly wrong with me... I need to have that drive to work hard.

I dun like it when my mother starts nagging at me when i wanna concentrate on certain things. Sometimes i just wanna ignore her, she just kept digging and digging and digging. Most of the times, i'm doing everything but she just dun appreciates it. She can notice that the dishes aren't washed but she cannot see that the floor is clean. She jut picks on things that i didn't do. Y must i be the one? This question doesn't seem to have an answer, it just keeps coming back. Is there some remedy for it? To sure this god damn problem? I know she cares, i can see it from her but y can't her care covers everything i dun like bout her?

Y must my father be such a person who always make my mother shouts? Y can't he just sit down and reflect wad is so wrong with him that his life is almost a ruin? Y can't he just stop his nonsense and be a real man that face up to reality?

Y must my brothers be people who dun care? Dun they ever fear? Dun they care at all? Life is such a swift for them, they know that they can't do it, there's still the parents behind to push them forward.

Y must i be the one who is being restricted of so many things? Y must it be me who have to study well and achieve good results? Y must i carry the burden of wad my brothers didn't do well? Y? I just wanna work for the things i want not what they can't get.

Y must my mother threaten me that if i wanna be with a guy who is of inferior education knowledge as I, then i have to quit school?

Where is the fairness that i always hear about? Where is the rights of a girl like me? How can I possibly be such a super woman? Ridiculous...

Ridiculous... Just ridiculous...

I'm stressed out... And I missed you again...