WEll...

1st CT in Poly... The atmosphere? Ain't nothing like CT at all.. Well, but i treat it like an exam... Did it quietly and finished it quietly. It wasn't very tough but wasn't that easy either, a bit of both i guess...

Met up with Yuting for dinner and just so happen met up with the guys as well... Wah lao, they kept saying i got new friends, forgot old friends liao... Feel so bad lor but the fact is, i didn't forget them, never will. And my reason for not being able to go out with them is, we're in different course, different school, hard to get together, stress level different, workload different... Most importantly, they are all in the same school and can have each other by their sides every now and then, but i dun!!! Hai... Can understand mah?? Not i dun wan, is i can't... SaD...

Anyway, back home, i'm really tired le... I decided to lie down and rest before i start my engine for BSTA, who knows my pa call me to go down eat dinner... I told them twice that i dun wanna go down coz i've eaten, but they insist. Downstairs, i was still in the cold war with them, so i dun talk, dun eat, my Aunty and Ah mah didn't say much, i doubt they say anything to them... Then my 2 kor who obviously dunnoe wad happened since he was in camp ask me to eat and said, "dun wanna eat, come down for wad?" I ji tao say, " I said i dun wanna come one right?!" Lao pa was afraid we start quarrelling and said, "AiyA, nVm lAH!" I was very angry... My pa asked my ma to walk back with me, i ji tao walk in front... But i did wait for her. K, i feel very guilty of wad i'm doing, i can see how much they care bout me, i can see how well they try to make me feel but i just wasn't taking them at all... So, i decided to end the cold war lah.. I wrote a letter to my lao ma just now... I haven't give it to her but think will just put it on the table for her to see tmr... I really want them to understand how hurt i was and how cruel their words were and how my brother's treatment hurt me... And most importantly, i want them to know i've grown up, i know wad i'm doing and i understand their worries... It hurts me when i see my mother's face when i reject something from her the last couple of days... Each time i thought bout it, i feel like crying... Sorry Lao mA...

And then again, i'm being soft-hearted right? Wad to do? I'm Ai Ping, born to be like this... Born to be a bad-hearted person(quote from Eddie)... Afterall, they're my parents... However, i wun forgive my brother...

Anyway, i have one more chapter of BSTA to go but decided to finish that tml morning... Well, it's an open-book test... Even so, gotta know wad were those stuff that were taught arbo the whole year i will be DooMed... Heh!

Miss Eddie wor... HAHA!!! Did talk to him a little just now... How to really go on? I really dunnoe... one step at a time perharps...

Lost the ones I loved most but hoping they will come back... I dun wanna have a choice, I want both parties...