Mad bout my family... Suddenly realised i'm the way i am because of my family... In both good ways and bad ways... I had a huge fight with my parents last night, including my Brother... And i said wadever i've kept within me for the past few years out. I told my mum the reason i dun wanna stay at home, i told my brother how useless he is, and i asked my father, when is the right time... My mother argued with me, trying to tell me her reasons, which are despicably wrong... My brother didn't say anything... My father tried to soothe me from crying... I refuse to budge last night because i'm not wrong in any sense... They are over-reacting... I've said many hundred times, caring is caring, overprotecting is another thing. Not right, i have my life, my freedom, my say in this family. They cannot trample with me just because i'm the youngest and i'm a girl, never look down on me coz u will never know what i can do...
Eddie heard my cryings and he tried to stop me and then he hung up and said he'd call me today.
I sms-ed Xueting to tell her wad happened... She gave me the courage to walk this path i guess, to not let go unnecessarily... Like i always tell her, not to give up, to work hard, she told me that too... Sometimes, it just ain't convincing enough to tell myself that, we all need someone to knock that sense into us... Glad she's around...
I basically cried myself to bed, my father came in several times to console me but to no avail... I've lost hope in them, they dun trust me... All along, i'm deceiving myself... Nope, i'm not discourage, i suppose deceiving myself is also a way to keep myself going.
Aftermath of the quarrel, my father tried to treat me well, i weren't that harsh, i answered him with shorts answers. The whole day, i'm pretending to be alright when in fact, i'm not. My pa can come in and talk to me and the next minute i'd feel like crying... i dun wish to be harsh but they dun give me my ground.
Eddie called at bout 4plus... And we kind of chatted about what happened... Complained to him wad happened, still hurt but feeling much better than last night... After much venting of anger onto my diary and studying, i'm pretty much alright le... Sometimes, i really take my hat off for myself, i can actually be this sort of person who can just ditch any problems aside overnight... I guess i'm trained in some ways... heH!
My da kor came home and said he wanted to talk to me, he came into my room thinking i would listen, instead i told him, "Go away, i dun wanna talk to you." His same old reason, "u r a girl, u better know wad u are doing." Please, do they really think i dunno wad i'm doing? He is the unreasonable one here... He did something to me but i dun wanna say... Coz of that, he sux as a brother... I dun even wanna see his face now.
My mother offered my Ice cream trying to cheer me up, but i refuse to talk to her... I gave in enough. It's time to show them that i am a human myself, i have down times, i have period of frustration.. I always gave in but this time round, i dun feel like doing so... It's hard to do that, coz i know it would hurt them... I know it hurts them... Because it hurts me too... However, i just want them to know, i have my emotions... I have my pride...
Today, i laughed while watching Jacky Wu and Jack Neo... I giggled while chatting with Robert. I grinned when i received a "Butterfly" msg from my sister... I smiled while talking to Eddie... Love is still around i guess, a bit hard to get by but still, it's there...
Terrible family... Heartbroken me... Yet i'm moving on... It's just life that i have to lead on. At least i know my friends are around to support me, moreover i got so many DeArs... HAHA!!!
*my Head StIll huRts from the HIT*
I only wanna love freely... I just wanna lead a happy life... I just want the freedom that I deserve... Have some faith in me...
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