Cannot make it... At least for these 2 days...

Really tired today... Wah... Details will be on probably on Sunday... I am damn OFF now...

Friday, Saturday... ALL SO BUSY!!! I CANNOT STAND MYSELF FOR TORTURING MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!

Wanna sleep le... Gotta wake up very early tml...

NiGHt!

Ermm...

Dun really feel like blogging these few days... Kind of tired since school stared. Wonder how am i gonna go on like that for the next 2years... Hopefully, more things in school can spice up my life a little.... Hopefully huh...

Met Trish and Linda in school several times today and at the end of school, we even took bus together back... HA!!! I miss them a lot... Really haven't seen them for a long time le... It feels so good to be able to catch up with them.. HeE~ And Trish kept saying "My BArber..", no, is hair stylist... Remember that TRISH! Hee~ She kept stone-ing for no reason, dunno wad's going on in her mind... Funny... She rebonded her hair and highlighted!!!! WAH LAo... Very DoTss.... I waNNA highlight too!!!! Wonder when my hair stylist is free... Hee~

Anyway, went home and i was really in no mood to do anything... Uncle darling was telling me that "mad" misses my lappy... HA!!! Y? Coz all his themes are inside... HAHA!!! SO i said, later see how then go find them bah... I fell into a deep sleep after that... Woke up at 6.40pm, wanted to sleep again, but ermm... Can't lah, it's late le, if i sleep some more, i wun be able to sleep later... So i got up, and watch TV... Didn't have any dinner... Except for the Watermelon and Honeydew... HAHA!!! Uncle darling smsed me again, asking me to go back to sleep, i told him i'm not a pig... HAHA!!! Then, i told him i'd be there later... He said, nvm, said, "Mad" can wait... I say, nvm, coz the rest of the week, i dun think i'll be free to go by anytime... So ya...

"Mad" was so excited bout his theme... But he a bit moody... So i asked Uncle Darling why, he said " He lost $3000 odd in world cup..." I'm like, WTF... $3000 odd?! Wah lao, i can but so many Puma lah... Kao... Heh HeH! But, like a kid, he's very happy bout the theme... HA!!! Realised my Uncle darling quite caring towards this brother of his... "MAD"!!!! HA!

Anyway, spent the night with him at MAC, where he kept crapping... Then i kept poking him... HAHA!!! Lots of laughter... I think i'm getting sick le... Feel kind of warm in my head... And uncle darling as well, he kept sneezing... Hee~ Poor us... Of coz, it's not that we spread to each other lah, we didn't do anything hor! Hee~ Just coincidental i guess... Well, gonna miss him... Wun be free to meet him anymore, unless it's sunday...

Ermm... Yet another day in school tml... 9am class to bout 2pm... I'm going for check up tml... Well, not gonna say anything now... Nothing much to say either...

K, will end here, wanna go rest le... NiGht!

CiAo...

You make me look at you in a different way... A way which I respect... I realised you are more than what you are...

Happenings...

Chatted with Robert the night before... This time round it's bout 3-4 hours bah... Still, it's long, although it didn't break the 5hours record... HAHA!!! A lot of catching up and all... We're both busy and vexed over the little little things in our lives... It's only natural i guess.. He asked why does our batch seems so busy? I really dunnoe why... A lot of things to do for some reason... New system perharps.

Anyway, regarding my blog the day before bout the early in the morning compo, sounds nice? Hee~ No idea y but yesterday morning i wasn't a least bit tired even though i slept at 3am the day before. Uncle Darling woke me up for a breakfast which we hadn't had for a long time le. So well, gladly woke up, wash up and went down... Hopped onto his car and started going a bonkers... Probably coz of the cold weather bah...

Right, so we went to the same place that we went several times before and ya, if u rmb, one of the times, he scared the hell out of me in his car. Hee~ Feels really distant somehow, coz we haven't go for breakfast like that for quite a while le, almost a month? Yup... But then again, that feeling was familiar. HA! Anyway, we actually sat at the place where we first sat for our first dinner... HAHA!!! So many firsts ar... It's pretty funny if i really wanna recall but nah... Forget bout it.. Not gonna recall... HA!!! A tedious job and too many mesmerizing, tiring... HAHA!!! Will only do it during the nights... Hee~ Anyway, the breakfast was really nice... HAd fishball noodles, and Uncle Darling told me, "You dun have to spend when you are out with me..." Then i stared at him and said, "Why?! I got money, can pay... BUt when i got no money, that's another thing... HAHA!" He's like, "....". Hee~ It's nice of him but really, when i can pay myself, why not? Dun want people to say bad things you know... Do miss him now...

Well, i finished my Dreamweaver that very day... Took me almost 3hours to finish the whole 5-6 web... Actually i can finish it off simply with nothing but seems a bit too plain... So i decided to spice things up with different backgrounds pictures.. Looks really nice now... Still, can't really linked them up together. By the time i finished, it's around 1pm le... I sat there, and started dl-ing the notes for the coming week... No idea why, it kind of took the a long while. I decided to get my eyes off the screen for a while but kind of did the wrong thing lah, i started reading when i should rest my eyes... HA! But well, interesting book i borrowed... Hee~ After that, i took a bath and ya, went out to meet the girls from netball.

Well, only knew that Kailing wasn't coming on the spot and hai... Kind of disappointed coz was looking forward to seeing her and talking craps with the "Coach" but i guess it just ain't possible. So, instead, the 7 of us went to Holland V and feast our tummy on nydc. Hee~ Had the same pasta as before, still as yummy... Hee~ Started getting busy with my celly... Uncle Darling and Firdaus started sms-ing... Uncle darling was telling me that he's going back and ask me to enjoy and all while Firdaus told me he was around my house there for some event organised by the RC... So ya, a bit busy ar...

After some walking around the shopless Holland V, we sat down in Ya Kun's and drank coffee... Bought some pastries from breadtalk and off we went, back home. Decided to get a Latte b4 going home so went to 7-11 with ting... Afterwhich, i was feeling tired... Waited for bus and went home. Ya, so, kind of tired, i sat there, using the wireless, doing craps on my lappy... And then, of coz, robert called... and the rest, you know.

Woke up late on Sunday... 1.30pm? No breakfast, so went to get something to eat for lunch. Smsed Uncle darling and he told me his shoulder still hurts after all the massages i gave... HAHa!!! Wonder did i use too much strength... Hee~ Hope he's feeling better today.. He told me he's going to see Sinseh today... Ya, better bah... Better than my crap massages... HA!!

Ooo... I started with my research on ITR's project, nobody from my group told me what to do so i decided to start off a little so by the time they wanna start, i know what are we supposed to do. Well, and so, i was stationed in front of my lappy for the rest of the afternoon. Dear suddenly smsed me asking me how long have we not chat with each other, i kind of laughed a little lah.. True enough, it's been almost a week le but didn't meet up though, kind of late after her project and i dun feel like going out le. After Uncle darling's call of the night, i gave dear a call to chat up a little. So, she was reading her speech to me and she sounded really nervous and very rush so helped her a little with the rephrasing and yeah, that wraps up her speech. She began telling me bout work on saturday and haha, ya... Same old stuff but always new to hear.... Hee~ Hung up by 12.30pm coz well, new term starting the next day right? Yup...

So, woke up really early, aftre preparation and stuff, it's only 7.30am.. So i did everything slowly... Met PH at the bus stop so we decided to stroll down to the interchange. And came to school together.

Well, i'll stopped typing bout wad happened. Just some bits of comments, i am pretty much in trouble with my school work coz seems like there's a lot of things to be done. However, none of seems to be done... K, maybe i can comfort myself and give myself a pat of my head coz i've done more than some others did. Hee~ And all that i've done, are from the best of my ability. Hai... Still, it ain't no excuse for npt finishing... When i look at others, i find what they are doing are so relaxing yet they are vexing over it. Well, and then i would tell myself, everyone has their own difficulties the the things they do, i can't really compare myself to them. If everything are the same then we dun need different criterias to get into the different courses. Well, i'm stress in my ways, so are the others. Well, no use complaining i guess, it's just work that i gotta do. SO, just do it bah... To quote from a book, "My days are full, but most of them remains, unsatisfied."

Life is not a bliss... But still, happiness lurks within...

Early in the morning

One early rainy morning, I open my eyes to welcome the first glimpse of light. It was a chilling day, the air was cool. I began to think to myself, "I guess it is another day." I carried on to brush my teeth. The birds were chirping outside my house, its like a hidden blessing to be able to hear them, sometimes, we don't even realise how interesting the sounds of nature can get.

The rain pitter-patter on the ground of the open space, i stopped to look at the dark sky. Even with it's dull look, the sky still looks so beautiful, with the clouds enhancing it's beauty. I wonder... Is the sky a narcissist?

I walked into a coffeeshop and settled down with a cup of coffee, which is commonly known as, "kopi", among locals. It was yet another sensation... The aroma of the coffee filled my nose and eventually into my brain. I concluded that that was the best coffee. I heard many people eating the first meal of the day. Roti Prata, half-boiled eggs, toasted bread, bee hoon and many more... Nothing seems unusual at all.

I took my usual bus home, the bus-driver said, "Good Morning!". Caught by surprise, i turned abruptly and greeted him as well. After alighting, i walked towards my house slowly. Came across two women, talking. An Indian woman and a Chinese woman. Using what little they know about our link language, the two women started chattering away. I walked pass them, and smiled.

Suddenly realised that despite our size on earth, we have our own unique sense of every little thing. From the clean air that i am allowed to breathe in, to the simple taste of coffee and to the communicating language that we used, it is the way we are. How many countries can have the air that we breathe in every morning? How many countries have the type of Kopi that we enjoy? How many countries can have people of different colours talking the same language? I guess i love my country more than i did before.

Instead of walking, just to go home, i took time to look around and understand the beauty of humanity and nature. I'm glad i'm not taking them for granted now. It's such a refreshing sight. Looks like a composition doesn't it? Haven't write for a long time since my graduation. Hope my touch is still there.

The flannel words that were spoken are not synonymous with the heartfelt words given... Sometimes, life is more than what we think it is, I'm trying to grab hold of what is equal rather than what is more than... If only you can understand...

Crying no more...

I slept pretty long today... Until Uncle DArling smsed me... So, we crapped a lot again... And somebody wants to have 2 boys and 2 girls... hAhA!!!

Then, Ting was telling me bout the wrong day of the zoo which kind of confused me a little but i concluded she was in school so i said, "Yaya, will tell u later..." Heh HEh... Smsed dear and she said she'd tell me later... Ok...

After eating my breakfast cum lunch, i started to stone infront of the TV... hee~ Love that feeling... Then i felt very rotted so i thought of going to do my dreamweaver... However, i changed my mind, went to wash my jacket and shoes... Hee~ coz the sun was shining bright... Right after i finished washing, Uncle darling called me... Wah lao, i rushed out to clean my hand dry... Then picked up the call, told him i was doing my washing, then he laughed, like i dunnoe how to do laundry... Wad kind of reaction sia... But did some chitter chatter with him, he was waiting for his appointment customer who was late to come... Suddenly, i rmbed that time when Ting and i went to rebond, we were late too... Coz i told ting to accompany me to go back to OHS to do some paperwork... Hee~ And we were late for about 1hour bah... Come to think of it, i dun really know Uncle darling then... Heh... How amazing things can change within the course of a few months... Funny how feelings can arouse out of no where and all of a sudden, he became the person who make me smile a little more and a person who made me see a lot more of just the small picture that i am cope with in life... Amazing...

Anyway, after that, i called Dear to ask her bout wad's the plan for the night... She was considering and all... Then, started to tell me bout wad's going on in OHS... Suddenly feel very weird, it used to be me telling them wad was going on in the hotel and now, they are telling me... I dunnoe, doesn't seem to have much for me to think bout the place anymore... It's really like they use us when they need us, when not in need, they'll dump us aside. Sometimes, thinking bout it, how many exactly are there in the hotel who we found as great friends? Who i can chit chat to even when i'm not at work? Who can lecture me bout life? I only found Bt kor... (excluding the PT staff).. A bit disheartening to see that, out of the big banquet team.... And probably from Christopher, Honey... Other than that, i found no one... However, i dun hold grudges, it is ultimately, still their choice to whether to keep in contact with us or to make us their best of friends... And somehow, i choose to believe that they once trust me... Had faith in me... From the fact that, they will still look up for me when there's VIP event, and most evidently, allowing me to take the post of PT coordinator out of so many others... It's an eye-opening experience, a growing chance, an opportunity to see in and out of how a team is run in an operation team and ultimately, it proves beneficial to where i am heading... Somehow, Wee Loon seems to have taught me something.... One cannot give up too much and take everything for granted, coz when the time comes and the opportunity comes, it is bout u grabbing it or letting it go... CHoose the right direction in life... HA..... Funny how a man like him can show me such profound meaning...

BAck to today... After hanging up on Dear, we went to prepare... Then, went to lot 1 to meet up with her... SAw yvonne's bf who is REALLY thoughtful... A bit over though but ha, Boyfriend mah... Then, met up with Aiying and yuting, and then head on to yuting's place... Lots of crap along the way... Anyway, her house feels so cosy... After all the screaming and shouting, ting arrived... Dear and i kind of rushed out a little but was there pretty fast... So went to walk around and settled down for Long John...

Started to feel a little tired... But still gotta pay the bills... So went to Westmall... Then went to library and borrowed some books then went to buy herbal tea... Afterwhich, really cannot tahan le... Wanna go home rest... Hee~

Uncle darling was telling me that he was really tired too... So told him to go back and sleep... But he said he would call...

Back home, i sat there, paralysed.. My ma came home and started asking me a lot of questions... Sometimes, i really dunnoe y she likes to ask those common sense question, so i got a little rowdy... And i was really tired... I tried my best to answer he qns very calm le til she kept asking and asking and i got really mad, i told her, "Dun ask le lah, i wanna watch TV, very tired le lah..." Then she started pointing out that i dun wanna talk to her, always giving her the fed up look but point is, i'm tired lor... Then she just kept going on, i got really angry, started to reason out with her that, wad's the big deal of being a girl? Must i do everything and anything, doesn't she understand that my life dun just revolve around the family but most part of it, is with myself... And she kept insisting my attitude sux, k, fine, my attitude sux, i know, but it only happens when i'm tired... Then, she brought back the matter of my kor throwing shoes... I was really furious lah... I dun even wanna think bout it and now she wants to bring it up... It's obvious is hi fault and now she said it's my fault for giving my attitude... Please, i didn't even start anything bad and the shoes came flying over and hit my face... I felt very sad lor... It's so obvious that she's siding him... I started tearing again... I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!! I dun even wanna say anything anymore... I'm always at fault.. I'm really tired of trying to be her good child... I told myself not to cry anymore... I'm not gonna cry over this family anymore, somehow, i know the facts already.... I want to handle this like an adult instead of crying... She began telling me that i always turn to my friends when family got problems, but she never think bout why i would turn to my friends... And she insists that my friends would look down on me... And then, i was angry again, told her never to insult my friends and she did that again... If i should be look down on, then there are many reasons i can look down on my friends, but will never do that coz i know they are true to me and i am true to them... ANd then it comes down, and i that stupid and blind to make friends with damn pple? She never understands... Y must i portray a happy portrait when it's not perfect? It's pretence... It's fake... It's not right... I can endure, i can hide but i can't run away from it... Reality remains as reality...

How i wish i can break free somehow...

Well, Uncle Darling called but i hid it from him... Showed nothing happened... Dun really want him to feel bad for me... So after some talking and laughing, i'm feeling better... Thanks Uncle darling...

Still, it ain't easy to get by... If it's gonna be that way, then let it be... I dun wanna cry no more... Just wanna live life as usual... Like i always do...

Going for Movie with yuting and Si en tml!!! Looking forward.. Need to sleep le... NIGHT!!!

Ciao!!!

Whenever I need a joke, you never fail to deliever it... Thank You...

RigHT Right... Seems Wrong...

Dunnoe y the whole thing shifts to the right... Anyway, i'm lazy to do any fixing le... So just bear with it lah... When i got time then fix it again...

Love U!

CiAo!

Back from CAMP!

Seriously dunnoe how to fix this problem on my blog... Hai... Dun care, anyway, if u cannot go from one navi to another, just click refresh ok?! Hee~

Finally, i'm back home!!!!! HOMMEEE!!!! HAHA!!! Camp is really boring... The only time that i had fun was just putting up our performance where we really did put in effort and make it hilarious... Other than that, it's really boring... It's just plain studying, or maybe, listening... Kept in a freezing auditorium for the whole day... 3 days of it were like that... Cannot tahan...

People there were pretty much stoning like i was but at the same time, did listen... It's really relevant for servicing... However, due to my PT status in banquet or for most students who have worked in some way of another, we already know those facts of service so it's really a waste of money. But then again, it did taught us how to read the minds of customers which i still prefer as calling guests, and how to always make a NO sounds like a YES... Well, basically, it's just a learning programme than a camp...

Right, and i was really tired the whole time due to the continuous lack of sleep... And started to miss all my friends right from than on and of coz my Uncle darling... Also, felt cheated coz got no wireless there lah! I was happily waiting to use the wireless to log on and blog but that damn campus got no wireless... SICKENING!!! Felt so cheated... And I'm like an idiot lah, but ha, my classmates also brought... Kind of funny...

I chatted a little with Uncle darling on the second night and felt really nice to hear from him... HAHA!!! And to listen to his craps and my extended jokes... HeH! Miss HiM! And then, call dear to call me and chit chat... And we did, for a while then she went to eat her Mee Suang... Afterwhich, she can't reached me le... Dunnoe wad's going on with my phone, kept on switching off by itself... Sickening... But nvm, i was tired too and she needs to get up for work the next day...

So, i slept the whole night and felt really sick.. Woke up early for the breakfast and then with the rest of the talkings and stuff... And the camp FINALLY ended!!! So happy!!!

Seriously, it's a fulfilling camp bah, though it's really boring but did bonded with some of my classmates... And did learn more to add on to my servicing experience... Ultimately, it's still a beneficial camping experience for us...

So, i dragged myself down from bus 61 and went to buy my yoghurt coz i haven't shitted since saturday's netball marathon... And saw my uncle darling, went to ask him to treat me lunch... HAHA!!! But then i dunnoe wad to eat, in the end, we went to buy bread together... HAHA!!! And he treated me bread! HAHA!!! So funny... And Andy was using my lappy... He very smart lah, dunno how he knows my lappy was full batt... Ask him to beg me b4 i lend him... He's a weird guy... O ya, he wanted to see his phone's CD lah, so no harm... Lend him in the end... And ermm... For those who have seen my wallpaper b4, ya, he was like pointing and pointing and said, "How come got HIS photo, dun have mine...." And i'm like, "U never say wanna take pic with me leh..." HAHA!!! And a bit paiseh lah, like the lappy was in front of so many pple... Heh Heh... ANd Richard was telling the fruit stall aunty to call for celebration, speechless, i laugh laugh... I was showing Eddie some of the funny pics Ting and i took during netball and he was like, "WAH LAO, SO PERVERT!" And Richard happened to took a glance and he said, "Wah... U all ar..." I was basically laughing out there... HeH HEh... And he saw the pic which he coloured my hair with the pink spray and he was admiring and said, "Nice..." I'm like, "Please... So lIAn..." Then he kept admiring until he said, "go home rest bah..." when Andy came out after a haircut... He was like, "Dun go leh, chit chat leh.." I looked at him and said, "BYE MAD!" HAHA!!! ANd said bye to richard, and bye to my uncle darling...

Then, dragged my bulky bags back home... Sat down, almost dying... MAMA cooked instant noodle for me, at it, went to shit out my last 4 days of shits and ji tao concussed le... HAhA!!! In the midst, 3 different people smsed me... 1st, uncle darling asked me whether sleep alreadry not, i said yes.... 2nd, Joey, telling me bout the steamboat thingy... Lastly, Lawrence, telling me bout his competition at Club MoMo, inviting me to go.. HAHA!!! For Steamboat, really wanna go but got things to do, thinking of how to make it... For MoMo, dun think i can go bah, the 2 lao de and the throw shoes at me will then kick a huge fuss... So, well, need to depend of that day i gues... ALso, geraldina told me bout the gathering with Kailing on Saturday... Then i realised the last few days of this week is very pack and yet i have so many assignments undone... HA!!! How?! Unprepared for school opening... GoSh....

Ok, these couple of weeks are very busy... SO packed, so many things doen yet still a lot undone... However, i'll still conclude it as a good holiday.. A great rest...

End my blog here...

CiAo!

Street Netball

Finally back from the Street Netball competiton... Tell you what, it's really tiring... HA! Fancy sweating like the rain in the middle of the night at 4am... HAhA!

The day started off with a breakfast of MAc on bus106 with Ting. Reached PS at around 9plus bah. Met up with the rest of the team and we sat there watching others play until 12pm, HGV B started their game. It was kind of messy the way they played but then again, the importan thing is to have lots of fun.

HGV A's game started at 2pm... WahAHAHa!!! We kind of mess up the game... We dunnoe where to stand and wad to do. Throwing shit passes everywhere... End of the game, sweat like nobody's business, my blisters were bursting and pretty pissed that we play like some juveniles.

Anyway, dun really wanna emphasize on the games played, afterall it's all bout having fun and burning the passion, or at least, that's wad it is for me. We won 2games out of 7. Disappointed with only a few of them, not all... Losing is part of a competition, but losing is also part of learning. So no use getting mad over a game that u lost, y not just learn from the mistakes. And really, it's about the passion lah... O ya, one of the matches, i got so pissed with the school who kept pushing and pushing, i snatched the ball from her while it was coming although later i was blown for contact but who cares, they push until so shuang, i shuang back lor... BlEh! That's pretty much the 1st time i got so angry with pple pushing and pushing that i did physical work... HAHA!!!

O, i really sweated like mad, when i let my hair down during one of the 4hours interval, the girls thought i went to bath... I'm like, "No lah..." Then they smell my hair and said it smelled nice.. Kao, all sweat lor... So disgusting of them. Heh heH! O ya, must mention, among all the pple that i told bout the Netball, oNly dear came.. HAHA!!! She pei-ed us for a while and the left just to watch some HK serial. Robert, Ben, Marianne smsed to say LuCk... And Uncle Darling called to check out wad was happening... Kind of angry that my ma always nagged at me, it's like i can't go out like that... Hai... Dun wanna drill it anymore, no use...

Really enjoyed the times i had with the juniors and being able to bond with them as usual, or better than b4 and knowing new friends from outside(HM's club)... New experience, new life....
After watching the last game, Ting and i went back, i was really damn tired and my blisters are so painful(they still are), but couldn't find bus 106 to get back. So ting and i were basically strolling in Marina Sq shopping centre and we came across the PUMA shop!!! ARGGH!!!!! But it's not open early in the morning. We looked through the glass for a while... HAHA!!! Wah Lao, i really wanna go there and shop liao, seriously all the sales are going on and it's really good bargains.... Levis got sales up to 60% off!!! OMG! WANNA GO, DUN STOP ME!!!

HAHA!!! Back home, I took a really thorough bath since i didn't bath for a day and i sweated a LOT!!! I could see that the water running down from my body was dirty... So gross... But it's healthy to sweat... HAHA!!! Afterwhich, i ji tao concussed le... Uncle darling wanna ask me for breakfast but i really can't open my eyes, i replied his sms with my eyes half-close... Very Very tired... And not to mention, i slept till 5pm... WAH... HAHA!!! Kk, After everything, i think that we had a really fun time, enjoyed the time sleeping on the staircase and outside Macdonald, at the empty space outside PS and lying on the path... Watching the night sky and feeling the cool air... Realise i still love netball though i'm not really THAT good at it but the passion will always stay on...

I forgot today is Father's Day!!!! Until, Darling Uncle told me... I rushed out to WM to get something for Lao Pa... Hai... And also, to buy all my camp stuff...

Ya, so after a night away from home, i'm back but going off again tomorrow, for another 2 nights... Geez... I'm really tired... Not gonna get myself in this kind of continuous event for a while le... Really must admit my that i'm getting old... Hai Hai...

Kk, just an update... Will be off tomorrow to Sports School for TRM's 1st official event, Service Boot Camp where we'll learn bout servicing, organising and relaxing(a bit like Banquet)... But, will still blog if i'm not tired coz i'm bringing my LAPPY!!! Still can contact me, it's not those forest camp.. HAHA!!!

Kk, NiGHt pple... LOVe U All!!!

CiAO!!!

It's My BlOg, My blog, My BlOg!

Wooo.... K, my blisters hurt a lot!!!! Crap... This is the 1st time i got this kind of blister lah... It's red and now, it's black... Quite disgusting... But then again, haven't had such shiok training for a while le... Anyway, went for training again yesterday, didn't train much, after a game, i left. My blisters couldn't take it. O ya... I forced Dear to go netball with me then she sat there do nothing... Heh HEH! Kind of funny though, I flirted with her... HAHA!!! That's y she went... HAHA!!! 1st time wor...

After that, went to find Uncle darling, and then we went for dinner at S-11. Had a really light meal... Dear and I ate a plate of $5 rojak... HAha!!! And each with a glass of ice Milo... And a Kopi gou xiu dei bing for Uncle Darling! HAHA!!! If u can make that phrase out... So we sat there and chit chatted for a long long time... Then Uncle darling showed us some videos... Dear and i were like, "Wah...." HeH Heh! Kids like us... In the midst, sister and Hui appeared out of no where, they went to fly kite... HAHA!!! CuTe wor... Anyway, we changed space into the park coz of pple smoking... K, Uncle darling was really tired but he really entertained us for the whole night wor... We were popping topics after topics... HA! And finally, 11.45pm, decided to leave...

Then, called Dear to chat up again... WaS helping her with her project opening line... Ha! And i was writing my contents for the letter... And ya, chatted and sang till 3am... Hung up, went to bed... HA!

This morning, Ashril smsed me to ask me Carolyn's number... Hai... So cham... After that, started raining... So cham lah, the muscles around my back is hurting a lot, then all the clothes out there were very heavy, i couldn't take the weight so i kind of threw all the clothes on the floor after i took them in... Dunnoe whether is it because of that day's oval tray and then continued training... Hope it'll be ok by tomorrow...

So, after i woke up, Uncle darling smsed me a sweet sms, and we crap a little... Then, he got busy with work le... So, i ate my lunch and continued with my unfinished card for the day... I doubt anyone would know... Today is a special day for me and him... Dear and Yuting knows bout it... Hee~

I asked Sister to go have dinner with me coz she told me she's very bored, then i know she's not eating... Hai... Her mum is having a cold so told her to get her mum some Herbal tea... She seems like she's building castles in the air.... HA! Didn't really asked why but probably coz of last night's chatting with Bt Kor bah... So ya, hope it's really castles she is building and not hell... YuP...

Went to find Uncle darling coz i wanna pass him everything i made... So sister walked there with me... 1st thing she did, open the door and said, "MAD!" HAHA!!!! Ok, it's a joke bout another guy in VK, he pronounced MAID as MAD! And it laughed the hell out of us since last year... HAHA!!!! Hilarious... And u should see the look on his face... Heh HEH!

Right, right, actually left Uncle darling coz he was really tired and i need to get up early tomorrow, but he suddenly smsed and asked whether wanna chat a little not, so i said, "Ok, but till 9.30pm alright?!" So, we sat down at one of those staircases and talk... Other things, cannot be disclosed but definitely decent things!!!!! HAHA!!! Dun think too much, bring ur mind back to the correct path! Hurry UP!!! HA! Anyhow, he looks like he likes the card and the gift... Quite happy coz i made it myself, besides the gift... And seriously, took a lot of time to do this kind of designing things... I'm still proud of myself being a D&T student once... HAHA!!! So ya, it's all from the HEART...

YAyA, so tomorrow will be the beginning of the 30hour netball marathon... WAh.... And Mon is the beginning of my 3days 2nights camp... Wad have i got myself into?! HAHA!!! Well, i'm happy doing what i'm doing... A decision made by none other than me, myself and I, can't turn back, wouldn't turn back. I'm sure it's gonna be lots of FUN!!!! HA! Looking forward to all the scoldings, playing, laughing, dying, sleeping... Heh HeH HeH!!!

PEOPLE, DO COME DOWN TO PLAZA SINGAPURA TO CHEER US ON!!!! STREET NETBALL IS THERE!!!! *Invitation by me, if need to pay, i dunnoe ar...HAHA*

I'm glad we survived the start of a fantasy... Up and coming is the reality... Hope we can survive it all... 16.05.06

Busy... Again...

Right, right, i haven't blog for 2 days le... I was working all the while... Although i dun feel like working at all but out of guilt, went to help my HONEY!

Monday was the beginning of Holiday, but also the beginning of working... It was a VIP event with 3 Singapore Ministers and Lian Zhan... Dun really know wad's he position though. Also, did see Sun Zong Shan's great granddaughter... Heh HeH! Ok, eye-opening day but nothing exciting, coz seriously, they're like normal human being, just that they hold a position higher than ours and they plan for a nation... We have our own little nation that we always plan for too... HEe~ CrAps...

Anyway, the night ended, and i was really tired... Didn't really get to talk to Honey a lot, think he went back le bah... Anyway, i went home after that...

Tues was feeling very sick, so i didn't go for the K box which our class organised, regretted a little lah, coz it sounds like they had lots of fun there... But well, doesn't matter... Woke up around 1pm and then was getting ready for work again... Met yuting and we bought some bread and ate.. hee~ Really hungry lah... I wonder y hor, everytime i need to go work i'll always get very hungry de lor... Very cham lah... And will have nothing to eat at all... And i'm serious, nothing! GoSh... Anyway, Yuting was very nervous bout the new job, tried to soothe her, but well, dun really know wad to tell her since it's really natural for me now...

Reached work, and things were a little choatic with so many staff and things like that... Went to put the floor plan outside, doing extra job again... I cannot tahan the staff nowadays, so attitude... Really feel very disappointed... Dun wanna point out wad, it's almost the same thing and always appear to surprise me but in a way, i am used to the standard now. However, not to worry, i wun blend into their standard... HA!!!

Saw Zhou Hua Jian... HAHA!!! He sing so well... LOVE....

Well, supper after that was ok, we chatted about everything and anything... Though everyone was tired already... HAHA!!! Took cab back with Dear, Sister, Yuting and Myself... After dear alighted, the cab become very quiet(u know wad i'm trying to imply right?!) then asked Sister whether she needs my shoulder to lean on not, for her to sleep... See, where to find another sister like me? HAHA!!! Nah... Just letting her lie, she worked for like 15 hours.... HAHA!!! Tough, i know... trust me...

So, i began my 12-hour marathon sleeping without wanting to be awakened. But of coz, i was... By several smses and a call... "Honey, wake up le mah? I miss u! Can help me work at 12?!" Sickening Honey lah, always asked me to work but i turned him down coz got training, promised my juniors, can't go back on my words... So sorry honey but i already helped u for 2 days le...

K, so i woke up, ate my lunch and went to meet Sister. We went to get wad i needed and then drink coffee, saw Xin Miao and esther... HA!!! Coincident lah... HA!!! Anyway, went to see Uncle Darling and then went down to meet Hui Mui... HAppened to see Kok Hong too... See, saw so many pple lah...

Anyway, training was great... Still love playing with the girls... K, it's good to have Xueting around lah, coz she scold a lot... HAHA!!! While i sit down there, listen.... HAHA!!!! i'm just happy to see everyone having fun and putting in effort even when it's a game that is not compulsory. BUrn the PASSION!!!! PLAY WITH THE HEART! And that's everything i saw in them... GREAT!

Went to meet Uncle Darling together with sister... As usual, lots of craps... HAHa!!! Dun really understand y he got so many craps... But always entertaining... Hee~ Still Love Him... Ok, so as not to let my sister feel left out, i also love her... HAHA!!! And the list goes on... HEh heH Heh.... Spread the LOve, MAn!!!

Anyway, the day was great for me... I supposed all the days are great for me, it's just the way i handle each and everyday of it...

Well, sometimes when u really sit down and think about wad have been going on in your life, u tend to find yourself in a loss... U dunnoe when u began, u dunnoe how u end up in a mess, u dunnoe how to handle it, u basically dunnoe wad to do... No worries, look around, u r not alone, somewhere, somehow, somebody is still there to help u out, to give u that helping hand... Maybe not much, but a little effort given is a thousand tasks completed. Struggling within yourself is natural but be sure to give yourself a little bit of time to rethink wad has gone wrong, wad can u do to be back on track and probably you'll be better off... Definitely...

In love, it is always a tough journey. To step into this trap is always at your own risk, at your own will. Remember that it is a sweet yet bitter journey... Bitter-sweet delight i would put it as... But never allow LOVE to conquer your life.... Never allow it to erase your memory... Until u find that right one, remember, your life dun just revolve around that special someone... I'm trying so hard not to be like that... YEAH!!!

Anyway, life is going well now... Still, the pressure is there but then, it's better than having not enough of everything...

Back to where I used to be...

HoW? WAD? DunNOe lEh...

I kept myself awake till 2plus am last night just to complete transferring all the songs and pictures from desktop to laptop... Then arrange everything properly in my laptop... Wah lao... So tiring lah... And at the same time, i'm thinking bout wad Eddie was doing... HAHA!!!

Anyway, i woke up at 12pm when Darling Uncle smsed me, ask me to go his shop... I thought he wanna tell me something or give me something lah, so i rushed rushed, but still late for the meeting time with Yuting. Anyway, he wanted to do highlight for me but i told him i was in a rush, so he spray spray pink colour spray on my hair.... One nice strip... HAHA!!! SO LIAN... But looks ok oN me... of coz lah, who am i leh?! HAHA!!!! BHB!!! Anyway, he gave me a lot of surprises just now lah, dun wanna say wad but it's so sweet... Gave him a hug and a Muackx and left... HEh HeH... So SwEET... >0<

Anyway, went to meet Yuting after that then go OHS... Lao... Long trip... Met up with all the pple at Shopping Arcade, then i saw Lau... He wanna hit me... HAHA!!!! Brought them around the place then to Lvl2, conference area... Nutmeg room... Chit chatted with yusoff a little and found out the little apple is now the coordinator... HAHA!!! So cham lor the hotel... I waited at lvl2 while Chris brought the rest to lvl3... Helped apple do some of the stuff and taught her a lot... So, i demanded an hour pay from Lau and he say i "jing jing ji jiao" kAO... Joking Mah...

So, waited and waited until everything over liao... Went to eat Mac then headed back to batok. By then, Darling uncle finish work le, and he went back to Msia liao... Yuting and i went to buy padlock but b4 we did that, we saw colour contact lenses.. AND HAHA!!! We went to buy... Lao... I keep wasting money nowadays lor... Seriously... need to put wad i earn tml and tues into the bank... SERIOUS!!! Dun tempt me to buy anything anymore...

K... Haven't really went out with DArling for a while le... Feel so bad... MiSS hiM lots!

And feel very sorry bout Ai Ai... Coz of the thurs training, can't go shop with her... Hai... How?! Too many things to do within too short a time... And i got camp coming up... And street netball... Working... Poly class outing... OMG!!!! TOO MANY THINGS!!!! Still wanna sleep...

Life has been pretty hard to get by recently. Still trying to adjust to this new pace, and still searching for the unknown behind close doors... And wondering whether he'll always be there for me? Whether the differences will be a problem... Whether i can find a way to answer for everyone's queries... Whether i can answer to my family... Whether i can answer to my friends... And whether i can answer to myself... Uncertainties within... How to get out of it? I guess it's up to me to find out...

When I need you, you are there for me... I know you are hesitating now... But please, dun let go... Let me have that shoulder for a period more than forever... Let me be selfish for this once...

Back to me...

Well, did i forgot to blog? No... Basically, i didn't have the time to... I was so busy with CT, and the project work which i handed UP TODAY!!! Yesterday to be exact. So Dot Dot Dot... People, i was late for the 1st time in CT and it was so so embarassing lah... Sickening bus 61, i was there at 10am, the bus took more than 40mins lor... My test was like 11am leh... I panicked so much that i called my lao pa and asked me get a cab for me... Feel really bad lor... My father actually ride his bike out and send me to block 280... K, it's embarassing lor, like i'm 18 and in poly le, papa still riding bike and sending me to school... But no, it's to block 280 where the on called cab should be. So, i bidded Sayonara to my lao pa and board the cab. The cab-uncle is a really nice man, i told him i was late for Test and he sped a little for me... And i managed to reach school at 11.10am... Lao... Good thing Miss Ho is a nice person, she allowed me to have 10min more coz of my reason for being late. Ultimately, it's still the bus fault... Where got interval so long de...

Rough start for the day... Tell u all, i have been feeling really tired the last few days. Usually, i'll try hard to reply all smses but this time round, i tried hard not to reply any smses... Not because my bill is exploding but i am just too tired to do that... Sorry people... I haven't been feeling really myself since the drama that day... BuT, BUT! With CT over, and holiday starting, I WILL BE IN HEAVEN!!! K, give me at least a day to sleep to my fill and then i'll start being me again...

K, so i met up with Dear just now... She waited for me for an hour or so and she was complaining bout it... HAHA!!! Probably because she met 2 sickos in Westmall bah... Poor her... But appreciate her waiting for me... Then, we went to VK, not to find Eddie, but Richard... To ask bout the wadever song he was talking bout... Afterwhich, we proceeded to have out lunch at S-11... WAh Lao... Sickening lah... 1st, i went to order drinks, Ice Milo and Lime Juice... I told the Aunty, "Ice milo and Lime Juice..." Then dunno wad the hell was she so distracted with, she kept saying, "1 ice milo and 3 lime juice..." I gave her a puzzled face and said, "1 ice milo and 1 lime juice..." Then she nod nod, so i went back to sit lah... When it came, it's like 3 Ice milos and 1 lime juice, i ji tao wanna faint on the spot lor... Anyway, proceeded on with Chicken Rice... Dear was telling me some of the things that happened that morning, i was putting a mouthful of rice into my mouth when suddenly a gust of wind went through my ear, then face... I screamed lah... And it's Eddie... WAH LAO!!! thank you lor... Eating leh... And he still dare to ask me y i shout so loud... Anyway, he was waiting for processing so he came over to ka Jiao a little... Sickening Uncle...

After that, dear and i came to my house. Took my laptop and my sport shoes and stuff and went out again. Speaking bout sport shoes, so OMG, no training today coz lack of pple training... Faint... I was kind of looking forward to it but well, no training... Doesn't matter i guess... Stayed on at Mac with Dear, and then Xueting joined us... Idiotic dear lie to Ting that she's sick and not meeting us then when Ting came, she's like, "Wah lao, i really thought you sick leh..." HAHA!!! Idiotic Qian... Anyway, we had our sending of songs and every little crappy conversation that we usually have and ya.... That's bout it for the day...

Went home separately afterwhich. Got home, i sat down and rest a little. Took a cold bath and felt refreshed but after a few minutes, felt tired again... Still, went out to meet darling Uncle... Trust me to meet up when i'm so tired... But that's the joy in it... Hee~ Went to mac, and i saw TYS there with his friend, i said Hi and went to find a sit. So i waited... While waiting, was editting some of the names of my contact... Then he came... Same... A bit of catching up from the last few days... And same old mushy lines.... HAHA!!! Realised that we're both tired lah but dunnoe y still wanna meet up... So we ended early... Told him to go back, dun have to wait for the bus with me, ya... So i restlessly drag myself back... Home, nobody is around, as usual i guess... So i sat down, relax... Then, Darling Uncle told me to sleep early... Heh HeH... So cute of him, when he looks more tired than me... I bet he's watching World cup now.. HAHA!!! Anyway, it's sweet to have him around every now and then...

K, i forgot to put it the other day... Firdaus smsed me the other day... The come and go guy... He's always around to give me some really touching but unreachable words... Anyway, i didn't reply his last sms... Like i said, i'm too caught up with stuff...

K, be prepared to see some new skins coming up bah... Getting something a little nicer and complicated... WAhaHAHA!!!

O ya... People, thanks for all the encouragement given... Thank you from the very bottom of my heart... I'm fine le... Somehow, all these are just part and parcel of life... Part and parcel of my life... At the end of the day, i'm still me... Ai Ping, Apple... Smiling on...

I realised there are many people who care... Million of words to say but all comes down to just this... Thank you...

Nothing much happen...

Didn't study much for Microecons... Still got 1 and a half chapters left... Guess gotta wake up real early to study...

Didn't have the courage to pass the letter to her... But we started talking... I suppose there is no overnight grudges for family matters bah... Still my parents... But i still dun like the fact that they insult my friends...

I got a little mad today for some reason... Lots to talk bout but at the same time, feeling restless...

Reached home and i fell onto my bed... Slept till 6pm... Woke up, ate, watched tv, study... And now, blogging.. Nothing special happened so ya... That's it...

Wanna apologize to Dear for time and again cancelling the Turkey Embassy cocktail JoB... Sorry DeAr... Still Love U!!! hee~

Time to turn in... niGht!!!

WEll...

1st CT in Poly... The atmosphere? Ain't nothing like CT at all.. Well, but i treat it like an exam... Did it quietly and finished it quietly. It wasn't very tough but wasn't that easy either, a bit of both i guess...

Met up with Yuting for dinner and just so happen met up with the guys as well... Wah lao, they kept saying i got new friends, forgot old friends liao... Feel so bad lor but the fact is, i didn't forget them, never will. And my reason for not being able to go out with them is, we're in different course, different school, hard to get together, stress level different, workload different... Most importantly, they are all in the same school and can have each other by their sides every now and then, but i dun!!! Hai... Can understand mah?? Not i dun wan, is i can't... SaD...

Anyway, back home, i'm really tired le... I decided to lie down and rest before i start my engine for BSTA, who knows my pa call me to go down eat dinner... I told them twice that i dun wanna go down coz i've eaten, but they insist. Downstairs, i was still in the cold war with them, so i dun talk, dun eat, my Aunty and Ah mah didn't say much, i doubt they say anything to them... Then my 2 kor who obviously dunnoe wad happened since he was in camp ask me to eat and said, "dun wanna eat, come down for wad?" I ji tao say, " I said i dun wanna come one right?!" Lao pa was afraid we start quarrelling and said, "AiyA, nVm lAH!" I was very angry... My pa asked my ma to walk back with me, i ji tao walk in front... But i did wait for her. K, i feel very guilty of wad i'm doing, i can see how much they care bout me, i can see how well they try to make me feel but i just wasn't taking them at all... So, i decided to end the cold war lah.. I wrote a letter to my lao ma just now... I haven't give it to her but think will just put it on the table for her to see tmr... I really want them to understand how hurt i was and how cruel their words were and how my brother's treatment hurt me... And most importantly, i want them to know i've grown up, i know wad i'm doing and i understand their worries... It hurts me when i see my mother's face when i reject something from her the last couple of days... Each time i thought bout it, i feel like crying... Sorry Lao mA...

And then again, i'm being soft-hearted right? Wad to do? I'm Ai Ping, born to be like this... Born to be a bad-hearted person(quote from Eddie)... Afterall, they're my parents... However, i wun forgive my brother...

Anyway, i have one more chapter of BSTA to go but decided to finish that tml morning... Well, it's an open-book test... Even so, gotta know wad were those stuff that were taught arbo the whole year i will be DooMed... Heh!

Miss Eddie wor... HAHA!!! Did talk to him a little just now... How to really go on? I really dunnoe... one step at a time perharps...

Lost the ones I loved most but hoping they will come back... I dun wanna have a choice, I want both parties...

Another QuarRel... Between Me and My family...

Mad bout my family... Suddenly realised i'm the way i am because of my family... In both good ways and bad ways... I had a huge fight with my parents last night, including my Brother... And i said wadever i've kept within me for the past few years out. I told my mum the reason i dun wanna stay at home, i told my brother how useless he is, and i asked my father, when is the right time... My mother argued with me, trying to tell me her reasons, which are despicably wrong... My brother didn't say anything... My father tried to soothe me from crying... I refuse to budge last night because i'm not wrong in any sense... They are over-reacting... I've said many hundred times, caring is caring, overprotecting is another thing. Not right, i have my life, my freedom, my say in this family. They cannot trample with me just because i'm the youngest and i'm a girl, never look down on me coz u will never know what i can do...

Eddie heard my cryings and he tried to stop me and then he hung up and said he'd call me today.

I sms-ed Xueting to tell her wad happened... She gave me the courage to walk this path i guess, to not let go unnecessarily... Like i always tell her, not to give up, to work hard, she told me that too... Sometimes, it just ain't convincing enough to tell myself that, we all need someone to knock that sense into us... Glad she's around...

I basically cried myself to bed, my father came in several times to console me but to no avail... I've lost hope in them, they dun trust me... All along, i'm deceiving myself... Nope, i'm not discourage, i suppose deceiving myself is also a way to keep myself going.

Aftermath of the quarrel, my father tried to treat me well, i weren't that harsh, i answered him with shorts answers. The whole day, i'm pretending to be alright when in fact, i'm not. My pa can come in and talk to me and the next minute i'd feel like crying... i dun wish to be harsh but they dun give me my ground.

Eddie called at bout 4plus... And we kind of chatted about what happened... Complained to him wad happened, still hurt but feeling much better than last night... After much venting of anger onto my diary and studying, i'm pretty much alright le... Sometimes, i really take my hat off for myself, i can actually be this sort of person who can just ditch any problems aside overnight... I guess i'm trained in some ways... heH!

My da kor came home and said he wanted to talk to me, he came into my room thinking i would listen, instead i told him, "Go away, i dun wanna talk to you." His same old reason, "u r a girl, u better know wad u are doing." Please, do they really think i dunno wad i'm doing? He is the unreasonable one here... He did something to me but i dun wanna say... Coz of that, he sux as a brother... I dun even wanna see his face now.

My mother offered my Ice cream trying to cheer me up, but i refuse to talk to her... I gave in enough. It's time to show them that i am a human myself, i have down times, i have period of frustration.. I always gave in but this time round, i dun feel like doing so... It's hard to do that, coz i know it would hurt them... I know it hurts them... Because it hurts me too... However, i just want them to know, i have my emotions... I have my pride...

Today, i laughed while watching Jacky Wu and Jack Neo... I giggled while chatting with Robert. I grinned when i received a "Butterfly" msg from my sister... I smiled while talking to Eddie... Love is still around i guess, a bit hard to get by but still, it's there...

Terrible family... Heartbroken me... Yet i'm moving on... It's just life that i have to lead on. At least i know my friends are around to support me, moreover i got so many DeArs... HAHA!!!

*my Head StIll huRts from the HIT*

I only wanna love freely... I just wanna lead a happy life... I just want the freedom that I deserve... Have some faith in me...

To begin again..

I had 3 very tiring days... It's really tiring... I'm serious... Pissed as i was bout being leid, i took a step back, i compromised. St Regis showroom opening was alright, nothing big happened, just a few breakages. Once again, i saw one of the richest man in Spore... Mr&mrs Quek... nothing much... Just like normal human. Dear and i were stationed in the showroom to serve champagne flout and brandy respectively. K, the showroom were BEAUTIFUL!!!! HEAVENLY!!! Was pretty thrilled with it... HAHA!!! felt kind of honoured to be able to stand in the $19 million apartment showroom. Hee~ Was also happy for the fact that everyone were working togther like we used to... The good old faces... However, i still wasn't happy with the lying part lah. Anyway, night ended real well... Love working with them but i guess it's the end of working in OHS...

Met up with Eddie last night... We had our usual chatting up. Suddenly, he told me, "U r not a good person.." I'm like, wad? All of a sudden u tell me that? I'm not a good person? Then, he told me the reason, he said, i dun treat myself well, that's y i have a bad heart, not a good person. K, ya, probably that's true but i feel that i treat myself well but i treat others better... I'm good to myself but i dun flatter myself. Yes, maybe he said that out of goodwill, he wants me to treat myself better, but well, i'm like this i guess... Hai...

Anyway, i wanted massage from him and after much persuading, i got my massage.... Then, i massaged for him too, but he kept laughing coz it's ticklish... So Cute lor him... Fancy a 30 year old guy laughing so loud coz of tickling... I enjoyed that period of time with him...

You know, sometimes, i just hate getting calls from my father... He just wun stop... Anywhere, anytime, doesn't matter wad is going on, he'll call... K, give me a call a day is ok, i wun mind, dun call like there's no tml lor, need to pay bill de leh... And everything he said were all irrelevant lor... Nothing important... Fed up with that...

Ma and pa were saying, "it's not the right time to have bf.." Then when is the right time? I didn't tell them that, i dun wan them to lost their status as parents and can't argue back... I can think for myself le... I am rational enough already... Dun try to stop me from anything... I guess, if i want to, every single thing i've held important can be let go of but i refuse to do that because they are the ones hold precious to me in my life, i dun wanna let go... But i can... If only they can understand wad is the feeling i'm feeling now... If only... Like i told eddie, "i'm tired of explaining, no matter wad i said, they have things to nag bout, they are just unsatisfy with wad i have, might as well enjoy the few peaceful moments that i can have." And sometimes, i hate them for looking down on my friends... Friends are once in a lifetime thing, they have no right to say that they are unfit to be my friends... So, forget bout it if they want me to ditch any friends coz of their damn words... NO FUKING WAY!!! And to compare, if my friends are bad, my brothers' friends are WORST!!!! I just dun wanna compare... SiCkening...

Wadever... Met up with Ting just now and we got alcohol and talk... Chatted up and down, east to west... Our usual catching up with each other... It's another hard year to get by... Our sistership will still survive it all... It's the 11th year le wor... HA! No matter where we go, we're there for each other, for always...

You are the only one...

Cheated??

Went down to OHS just now and i felt god damn cheated lor.. Wah lao, Chris told us that they were lack of 20 staff last friday, today, went there, they only need 20 odd staff lor... Is it possible that they found the "20 odd staff" in 3 days? It's such a lie lor... I'm quite pissed off by it just now... And since i'm really tired and really pissed, i started to switch off. Lau was talking bout this and that and everyone were laughing, i was basically not in the mood to laugh with him. Truth is, if u need staff, tell me, i told them for more than a hundred times, when the time is near and u really can't find any staff le, give me a call, i try my best to make it, if i can't, i'm sorry. Dun lie in my face lor... I'm not stupid. Fancy being treated this way when i know the things... Ya, all the others were cheated but they dun seem like they mind but please lor, dun lie to me lah... I trusted them... I am so so tired... I questioned Chris just now, "Y u lie to me? U where got need staff?" He said, "Yes, i need staff, thanks for coming..." Hai... Wasn't a satisfactory answer. I know they wanna choose staff but tell me LAH! I was their coordinator b4 lor!!!! SO OBVIOUS!!!! Then he sms-ed me trying to make me happy, i'm not... I dun feel like going to work tml... Really dun feel like... Sux to be lied in my face when the truth is open up wide... So wad if it's the opening of St Regis? So wad if it's a grand hotel? BIG DEAL! Y must i tire myself for such an event which is not even relevant to my life? I'm doing a favour ok, at least tell me the truth...

Seriously, i'm done with trying to juggle so many things at once... Really done... How many things to deal with? CT, new friends, old friends, work, projects, netball, family, Love... Too many things coming at once lah... Slow down can? Give me a minute to just breathe in and out....

If i didn't reply u any sms, didn't talk to u, didn't complete the task u told me b4, didn't rmb to call u, didn't inform u of any problems, please forgive me... I'm at a lost now... Pardon me... Thanks...

Mind is in a mess... Trying... Trying... And still trying... But I'm almost done with it...

Ruin??? I guess not...

In school again... I'm very tired now... Kind of regretted agreeing to help out for tml's event at St Regis... Need to go down for training later... I'm like in school the whole day but still wanna force myself to go. I so dun wanna go lor... It sux... I can choose not to go though but well, since i've agreed... Eddie asked me y must i tire myself like that, i told him i rejected them many times le, and it's really not like me to kept on rejecting though i know they are just using ways and means for me to go work. I'm not stupid lah, i know them but it's very sad for them lah, it's like a VIP event lor, and they are lack of so many staff... Anyway, i'm just gonna help them this time round bah.

Y am i so stress over going to work? Coz i'm having lack of sleep and next week is our CT lor... I haven't even touch my books or notes to study lor... At home, getting real fed up with them. In school, tiring... Outside, trying to be alright... Trying so so hard but my energy level is fallng faster than i can replenish it...

I miss life back then...

Hai... Anyway, finish our OCOM presentation just now... Wear so formal lor... Like wad? Then i didn't bring anything to change coz my bag is heavy enough and the lappy... ANd later, need to rush down to OHS... Sickening... Tiring...

An old man told me not to care bout family problems and that it's not exactly something for u to be bothered bout. But, how am i suppose to ignore when i know the most but seem to be the ignorance one? Dun really wish to say anything bout it, but he drilled into me. This old man has his way of putting my life on his hand and mingle around them. This old man made me smile a little but he made me cry too... I guess this old man is someone i shouldn't fell for but i did. Dun ask me who, dun ask me y... I may be foolish but i ain't stupid... I know the risks involve. Just let me wander off into this world once more, in such of something more... Care but dun ask for more...

HAi... Wad a life i'm leading... Should i just give up on all else but myself? Will try to love myself more from today on...

And there, i'm officially 18... The month of MAY is ending... Too many things happened in this month... Too many...

Thanks for trying to be with me...