Tml CL O level liao... I managed to complete everything, or should i say, just those i think i should finish. Ermm... But i'm glad... I actually didn't hab much feeling for tml but just now, dunnoe y, started to get nervous, and panic a bit but calm myself down le... It is major, it is big, it determines how many As i would get, it shows how much i know myself as a chinese, it proves my worth to myself and it is very important.
Received lots of lucks from lots of friends... Was happy bout it. Today sort of just make myself study study study from 1pm onwards. Ermm... A bit nervous and anxious. But somehow, i guess we Sec 5 are calmer than the others bah, since we've been thru it once. I learned quite a lot of YAn Yu today, as well as, chen yu.
Hao lah... Nothing to say... Tml Will WORK my BEST... DETERMINED to... hee~
CiAo!
It's time to prove everything...
Monday, May 30, 2005
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Some things bout life
Guess I should apologize to myself, I slacked a little today. Though I managed to complete my Sec 2's words, I still got my sec 1 to complete. Told u I slacked liao... However, still got tml. Well, this is not the right attitude, pushing everything to tomorrow, a bad attitude, but that's wad I'm gonna do. Plan disrupted due to my laziness. Hai... Sickening me... However, wad i'm left with is a little. i just gotta use my time wisely tml. Plan to finish words by 2pm tml. Then start with all PAper 1 formats and those idioms. Ermm... Will definitely finish everything and be ready for Monday's Chinese O level. I'm not feeling much for it, just telling myself that i have to study for it. Not anxious or anything, i guess it is good, coz i wun panics or over-stress myself. Keeping neutral all the time. Anyway, when it comes, i will take it seriously and give it my best shot.
There are some pple who would ask me things that they wanna know, but uses those indirect ways to do it, thinking i will fall for it... HeH! Maybe i would tell them wad they ask, but not necessarily the truth. HeH! Sometimes, it is irritating, sometimes, i felt so betrayed. It's like my husband thinks i have an affair and hiring a PI to spy on me. It doesn't feels good to be accused of. But then again, i didn't take it seriously these few days. I just take it as, they think i'm gullible, but they are the ones who are. HeH!
Suddenly realised time flies really fast. It seems like it is only the beginning of the year and we are all starting to get anxious bout O level but now, it is already half a year gone and we are taking CL O level liao. See... So many things happened along the way, and it all seems like a film. Lots of ups and downs, if i were to go thru my blogs, i can compelled them together and make it into a storybook. HaHA!!! Devoted myself to different things this year, different from the last. Like some heart affairs, work and family. I dun really had such things to devote to last year, now, i do. However, i'm left with family and work. Most important focus is still studies. Hai... 5 months, 29 days, 14 min, 20 sec, so fast, yet so slow.
This year, i got to know a lot of things bout life. Most of which came from Ting, bt kor, Trish, yuting, and myself. Each of them had their kind of life. They all looked happy on the outside and has a story on the inside. The same goes to me... I had so much things inside of me that i have never tell and i still refused to. All of them too... I might know their stuff but i guess deep within, there are things that they refused to expose.
Ermm... Bt kor haven't blog for like, a week already. Wonder wad's wrong, hope he's doing fine with life bah. He is someone who i respect a lot. Role ModeL? Some way or another. :)
Melanie msg me yesterday telling me i slimmed down le, i laughed, coz i didn't. I told her it's only pic, i'm still the same, cos the weighing machine tells me so.. HAHA! Promised to meet up with her after Monday and i swear i will... I really haven't see her so long le... Hai... Old friends are still the best i guess...
Talks bout my feelings...Should stop. I got O level to care bout. After that, i will bitch even more. Hee~ Just wanna put myself into the papers and get that A1 i have worked 4 and a half years for. Determined to get it!
My heart is telling me something which I don't understand, but I will not find that answer right now, 'cause I'm going to where my mind tells me to.
There are some pple who would ask me things that they wanna know, but uses those indirect ways to do it, thinking i will fall for it... HeH! Maybe i would tell them wad they ask, but not necessarily the truth. HeH! Sometimes, it is irritating, sometimes, i felt so betrayed. It's like my husband thinks i have an affair and hiring a PI to spy on me. It doesn't feels good to be accused of. But then again, i didn't take it seriously these few days. I just take it as, they think i'm gullible, but they are the ones who are. HeH!
Suddenly realised time flies really fast. It seems like it is only the beginning of the year and we are all starting to get anxious bout O level but now, it is already half a year gone and we are taking CL O level liao. See... So many things happened along the way, and it all seems like a film. Lots of ups and downs, if i were to go thru my blogs, i can compelled them together and make it into a storybook. HaHA!!! Devoted myself to different things this year, different from the last. Like some heart affairs, work and family. I dun really had such things to devote to last year, now, i do. However, i'm left with family and work. Most important focus is still studies. Hai... 5 months, 29 days, 14 min, 20 sec, so fast, yet so slow.
This year, i got to know a lot of things bout life. Most of which came from Ting, bt kor, Trish, yuting, and myself. Each of them had their kind of life. They all looked happy on the outside and has a story on the inside. The same goes to me... I had so much things inside of me that i have never tell and i still refused to. All of them too... I might know their stuff but i guess deep within, there are things that they refused to expose.
Ermm... Bt kor haven't blog for like, a week already. Wonder wad's wrong, hope he's doing fine with life bah. He is someone who i respect a lot. Role ModeL? Some way or another. :)
Melanie msg me yesterday telling me i slimmed down le, i laughed, coz i didn't. I told her it's only pic, i'm still the same, cos the weighing machine tells me so.. HAHA! Promised to meet up with her after Monday and i swear i will... I really haven't see her so long le... Hai... Old friends are still the best i guess...
Talks bout my feelings...Should stop. I got O level to care bout. After that, i will bitch even more. Hee~ Just wanna put myself into the papers and get that A1 i have worked 4 and a half years for. Determined to get it!
My heart is telling me something which I don't understand, but I will not find that answer right now, 'cause I'm going to where my mind tells me to.
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Mother.... HEH!!!
HAd enough rest last night, this morning, i was all focus in school. Got my mock back, results ok considered satisfying. After school, chatted with yuting quite a bit.
Just now, my ma very bad lor. She anyhow go make appointment to cut my hair when i didn't wanna go to that hair-dresser, coz that person very self-centered, she nv take my comments de, she cut whatever she likes, always cut my hair to short short. Very angry Lor! She never asked me then go and tell her, feel very angry,then i told her, that auntie psycho one, always like that, i dun wanna go and ma was like, now got money liao can like that, but the fact is, she cuts badly, never listen to wad i want and at the end of every cut, i will be very mad de lor. And it's not cos i got money lor, i got no $ now, and i didn't wanna cut it now, i wanted to cut when school reopens. It sux lor, she anyhow make decision and she dare says it's my fault. Sux... And started nagging bout all of my bad points and all those old and ragged stuff. She always do that. Some more, she always say she's right when the fact was she is not, then i always have to give in. Always says, i spent her stuff. I always think to myself, it's ok, coz she suffered a lot, so i give in, moreover, i'm her daughter. However, she nv think that way, i guess... When arguements arose, i'm at fault. When it's my fault, i would admit it, let her scold, when it's not my fault, i'll quarrel with her... She nv understands this fact. So SpeEcHless... Always find these troubles when i need to concentrate. Always making me depressed b4 exam starts, adding pressure on. Damn it... Rest assure though, i wun allow anything to block my way.
Didn't wanna come in de, but really very frustrated with wad she's done. Just wanna nagged a bit bout it. Some more Da kor's gf here, then she say until like that. I give her face nia.. Hai...So sad... She never understands... Guess i'm the only one who understands myself most...
Ok, calm down... Revision, completed my 2 upper sec. words. Left with 2 sets more... And that's bout it. Will start with some other stuff....
I find all of this upsetting... I find myself stucked for a moment... But I made it clear that nothing would stand in my way... Absolutely nothing...
Just now, my ma very bad lor. She anyhow go make appointment to cut my hair when i didn't wanna go to that hair-dresser, coz that person very self-centered, she nv take my comments de, she cut whatever she likes, always cut my hair to short short. Very angry Lor! She never asked me then go and tell her, feel very angry,then i told her, that auntie psycho one, always like that, i dun wanna go and ma was like, now got money liao can like that, but the fact is, she cuts badly, never listen to wad i want and at the end of every cut, i will be very mad de lor. And it's not cos i got money lor, i got no $ now, and i didn't wanna cut it now, i wanted to cut when school reopens. It sux lor, she anyhow make decision and she dare says it's my fault. Sux... And started nagging bout all of my bad points and all those old and ragged stuff. She always do that. Some more, she always say she's right when the fact was she is not, then i always have to give in. Always says, i spent her stuff. I always think to myself, it's ok, coz she suffered a lot, so i give in, moreover, i'm her daughter. However, she nv think that way, i guess... When arguements arose, i'm at fault. When it's my fault, i would admit it, let her scold, when it's not my fault, i'll quarrel with her... She nv understands this fact. So SpeEcHless... Always find these troubles when i need to concentrate. Always making me depressed b4 exam starts, adding pressure on. Damn it... Rest assure though, i wun allow anything to block my way.
Didn't wanna come in de, but really very frustrated with wad she's done. Just wanna nagged a bit bout it. Some more Da kor's gf here, then she say until like that. I give her face nia.. Hai...So sad... She never understands... Guess i'm the only one who understands myself most...
Ok, calm down... Revision, completed my 2 upper sec. words. Left with 2 sets more... And that's bout it. Will start with some other stuff....
I find all of this upsetting... I find myself stucked for a moment... But I made it clear that nothing would stand in my way... Absolutely nothing...
Friday, May 27, 2005
Everything went on FiNE...
Last night had an ok sleep, the best for this week. Woke up pretty late coz of the coolness of the wind. This few mornings had been raining and it started the days really gloomy. However, the sun shines later and everything is back to normal.
As usual, in school, trying to concentrate on everything Mdm Khong was saying, and i did better than last couple of days. She gave us St. Gabriel's paper to do, i finished it as fast as possible and started to sleep again. Ok, very piggy, but i'm just tired. I really fell deeply asleep, unaware of wad's happening around me, when i woke up, there were noises all over. Ha!
Recess, ate pretty much today, or should i say, a bit more than the usual bread. After that, went back to AvA room, only yuting and me back there. So started to read the Xing Qi Wu Zhou Bao. Ermm... Slowly, more and more pple came back. Then, i saw somebody who looks like Billy but then didn't think much. Linda came to tell me that he's here. HeH! Anyway, lesson on Chem started, Miss Wang was very pissed with the classes, very noisy, i also cannot stand, i think i shouted a "Shut Up!", but nobody listen.. So sad... HaHA! After that, just started doing TYS.
After school, Mock again, this time round, i wasn't that tired bah. Anyway, after the paper, Miss Goh brief us bout next Monday and wish us all the best and all. MT teachers really did a lot to help us.
Went to buy coffee so i could prevent myself from sleeping. Back home, after walking around a bit, came online, saw ting and we started our sisters' talk. Haven't chat with her for a very long time le, so we kind of exchange some info bout this and that. Can't review wad, most are secrets between us.. HAhA! ACting secretIve again.
Received friendster msg from Sa Sa... She was asking how were everyone, so gave her an overall conditions of everyone. Ermm... Will see her again this holiday back at OHS, she said she's going back to work. Cool, haven't see her for some time le.
Competition once more... Suddenly realised i have got quite a lot of competition, some didn't tell me so, some told me straight. Ermm... The Ai Ping b4 might just panicked, but the Ai Ping now, just take it lightly coz for me, none are really my competition, not saying they can't be compared to me but I am numbed by it. Now, only I am my own competition. Overtake my previous results would satisfy me very much. So, y bother bout those pple trying to beat me? I'll just bother bout myself. They can chase me, but dun forget, i'm also running... Keeping myself out of reach.
Erm.. Finally completed Sec 3 words le... I forced myself to complete it by today and true enough, it was done by 10.40pm. Tml, i'll try to complete both Sec 4 and Sec 2 de. Then, Saturday complete Sec1 and then start with Idioms... Most probably memorise some confucious words, might be useful in Compo and as well as those Su yu... Ya... That's my plan, not gonna let any other stuff disrupt it...
Now, a bit hungry, ate little just now... Hai... Go cook instant bah or call papa or starve myself. Ermm... MAking sure i dun eat too much nowadays, dun wanna get very plump again... HeH! Can only slim down and not grow fat. HaHA!
Hao lAh... Nothing special.. That's bout it for the day... CiAo....
Creating a path for myself, walking alone to that goal.....
As usual, in school, trying to concentrate on everything Mdm Khong was saying, and i did better than last couple of days. She gave us St. Gabriel's paper to do, i finished it as fast as possible and started to sleep again. Ok, very piggy, but i'm just tired. I really fell deeply asleep, unaware of wad's happening around me, when i woke up, there were noises all over. Ha!
Recess, ate pretty much today, or should i say, a bit more than the usual bread. After that, went back to AvA room, only yuting and me back there. So started to read the Xing Qi Wu Zhou Bao. Ermm... Slowly, more and more pple came back. Then, i saw somebody who looks like Billy but then didn't think much. Linda came to tell me that he's here. HeH! Anyway, lesson on Chem started, Miss Wang was very pissed with the classes, very noisy, i also cannot stand, i think i shouted a "Shut Up!", but nobody listen.. So sad... HaHA! After that, just started doing TYS.
After school, Mock again, this time round, i wasn't that tired bah. Anyway, after the paper, Miss Goh brief us bout next Monday and wish us all the best and all. MT teachers really did a lot to help us.
Went to buy coffee so i could prevent myself from sleeping. Back home, after walking around a bit, came online, saw ting and we started our sisters' talk. Haven't chat with her for a very long time le, so we kind of exchange some info bout this and that. Can't review wad, most are secrets between us.. HAhA! ACting secretIve again.
Received friendster msg from Sa Sa... She was asking how were everyone, so gave her an overall conditions of everyone. Ermm... Will see her again this holiday back at OHS, she said she's going back to work. Cool, haven't see her for some time le.
Competition once more... Suddenly realised i have got quite a lot of competition, some didn't tell me so, some told me straight. Ermm... The Ai Ping b4 might just panicked, but the Ai Ping now, just take it lightly coz for me, none are really my competition, not saying they can't be compared to me but I am numbed by it. Now, only I am my own competition. Overtake my previous results would satisfy me very much. So, y bother bout those pple trying to beat me? I'll just bother bout myself. They can chase me, but dun forget, i'm also running... Keeping myself out of reach.
Erm.. Finally completed Sec 3 words le... I forced myself to complete it by today and true enough, it was done by 10.40pm. Tml, i'll try to complete both Sec 4 and Sec 2 de. Then, Saturday complete Sec1 and then start with Idioms... Most probably memorise some confucious words, might be useful in Compo and as well as those Su yu... Ya... That's my plan, not gonna let any other stuff disrupt it...
Now, a bit hungry, ate little just now... Hai... Go cook instant bah or call papa or starve myself. Ermm... MAking sure i dun eat too much nowadays, dun wanna get very plump again... HeH! Can only slim down and not grow fat. HaHA!
Hao lAh... Nothing special.. That's bout it for the day... CiAo....
Creating a path for myself, walking alone to that goal.....
Thursday, May 26, 2005
25 May
Heh hEh! Woke up late today, once again, i couldn't sleep last night, coz of the long nap i had before. In school, was feeling ok initially, later when we went to AvA room, the comfort once again, put me to silent mode and i started to fall asleep. However, i was able to control myself a bit. Ting's eye was not in good conditions, she's not in school today. Thinking bout it, ting have been absent for quite a few times this year. Her condition not very good hor. Mdm Khong mentioned her today bout certain stuff bah.
During recess, kept on feeling somebody touching me. 1st, it was Ee, he tickled me when i'm not aware, but i went to kick him. HahA! Then it was Jian Ming, this guy is from 3A1, i said he is short, haha! Not very familiar with him, he came to li xiao me... Then i poke him back. HAHA! Very sickening...
Back to class, played with yuting and Ping hong coz Miss Chong didn't wanna teach, since she doesn't have the whole class. However, i did calm down a bit to study. Then, back to CL lesson, once again, Mdm Khong was going thru the passages and started her stories again.. So sian, but listened... Today hor, Wei Xing and I exchange a few glances. Ha! Very funny. He was on the other side while i'm on this side, when i turned around, he did the same and we exchange glances, a bit weird sia.. Heh! CAn't smile to him in time.
AFter school, went to watch "Life is beautiful", an Italian film on the WWII. Germans killing the Jews and all. A story bout a father trying to protect his son when they are in the camp, in the end, while trying to protect his son, he was shot to death. Quite a pity, coz the day after he was shot, the war was over. The Americans won the battle and the Germans were forced to leave. At the end of the war, the Americans saw mountains and mountains of dead bodies, most of whom are being killed in the gas chambers, the olds and youngs. Hitler was a definite sinner.
B4 i went to take my nap, Wee Loon called. 1st thing he said was "Tml got exam ar?!" Then i told him no, he wanted to ask me to go to work but insisted i can't. Then he crap a lot of things, say others call me can, then he call me cannot, and blah blah blah. But, really can't lor, lots of things to do, and it was 4pm when he called, unprepared, homework not done, lots of revsion. Feel very sorry but really can't make it. Actually, Felicia asked me on Monday le, refused to go. Papa a bit angry i went to work on Monday, his face black black de. Anyway, i helped him called a few pple but none wanna work. So paiseh. HeH!
Revision in the evening after dinner. One junior was bitching to me bout some of the probs she faced with her friends while the other was asking me when i'm free so we can go play netball again. Wah.. They really got so much time, how envious i am. Can do wadever they want. Hai... Me old liao...
Anyway, later might be going back to write my words, have to buck up, lots of words to rmb sia. Hopefully, i will be able to rmb them well enough. O ya, i saw harvey norman sale... SAw a beautiful MP3, wanna go buy liao... During holiday earn bout $200 can liao.. lovely... HeH!!!!
Kk, that's it! Au revoire!
Working hard for a better tomorrow and leaving what shouldn't be taken, behind.
During recess, kept on feeling somebody touching me. 1st, it was Ee, he tickled me when i'm not aware, but i went to kick him. HahA! Then it was Jian Ming, this guy is from 3A1, i said he is short, haha! Not very familiar with him, he came to li xiao me... Then i poke him back. HAHA! Very sickening...
Back to class, played with yuting and Ping hong coz Miss Chong didn't wanna teach, since she doesn't have the whole class. However, i did calm down a bit to study. Then, back to CL lesson, once again, Mdm Khong was going thru the passages and started her stories again.. So sian, but listened... Today hor, Wei Xing and I exchange a few glances. Ha! Very funny. He was on the other side while i'm on this side, when i turned around, he did the same and we exchange glances, a bit weird sia.. Heh! CAn't smile to him in time.
AFter school, went to watch "Life is beautiful", an Italian film on the WWII. Germans killing the Jews and all. A story bout a father trying to protect his son when they are in the camp, in the end, while trying to protect his son, he was shot to death. Quite a pity, coz the day after he was shot, the war was over. The Americans won the battle and the Germans were forced to leave. At the end of the war, the Americans saw mountains and mountains of dead bodies, most of whom are being killed in the gas chambers, the olds and youngs. Hitler was a definite sinner.
B4 i went to take my nap, Wee Loon called. 1st thing he said was "Tml got exam ar?!" Then i told him no, he wanted to ask me to go to work but insisted i can't. Then he crap a lot of things, say others call me can, then he call me cannot, and blah blah blah. But, really can't lor, lots of things to do, and it was 4pm when he called, unprepared, homework not done, lots of revsion. Feel very sorry but really can't make it. Actually, Felicia asked me on Monday le, refused to go. Papa a bit angry i went to work on Monday, his face black black de. Anyway, i helped him called a few pple but none wanna work. So paiseh. HeH!
Revision in the evening after dinner. One junior was bitching to me bout some of the probs she faced with her friends while the other was asking me when i'm free so we can go play netball again. Wah.. They really got so much time, how envious i am. Can do wadever they want. Hai... Me old liao...
Anyway, later might be going back to write my words, have to buck up, lots of words to rmb sia. Hopefully, i will be able to rmb them well enough. O ya, i saw harvey norman sale... SAw a beautiful MP3, wanna go buy liao... During holiday earn bout $200 can liao.. lovely... HeH!!!!
Kk, that's it! Au revoire!
Working hard for a better tomorrow and leaving what shouldn't be taken, behind.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Worst day
It was an absolutely bad, lousy, unlucky, unpleasant, every bad vocabs, adjectives u can find, name it, i felt it, all at once, last night. Hai... Still, feel very bad bout yesterday. After doing my homework, i happily went to a nearby supermarket to buy a packet of potato chips and soft drinks, hoping to enjoy myself after the long day at work the other day. However, after only a few bites, bt kor called. Asking me to go to work. Initially, i insisted on not going but they seem to be really short of pple. I hung up, called a few friends, hoping there will be somebody to pei me to work, but none seems to be free. Billy was working, so it cindy. Both of them very weird, coz both asked me to join them to eat together. HaHa! A bit weird hor.
On the bus, i was msging with billy and reading reader's digest. The ride seem to be pretty fast, faster than it usually was. Walked into OHS slowly, changed slowly. Cindy came. chatting bout this and that, Billy came, same thing. 3 of us shared the same locker. HA! Went to eat, didn't feel like eating but pei Cindy, grab a bit only.
In the ballroom, i was already starting to regret on going to work coz i feel so sian, so tired, so dun-fit-in. No idea y, but those feelings were just there. Still, they were short of staff, I was totally dreaming out there. There was a lot of changes, and i was a bit confused. Later, end up with an Indonesian partner. The night SUCKS! Repeat again, SUCKS!!! Worst working day i ever had since i started working. It sucks so much. It was the 1st time i wanted to cry while working. I'm not joking lor, tears did come to my eyes twice. Sad sia... The partner kept on disappearing, and i gotta handle the 3 tables alone, taking care of beverage, portioning, serving... Wah! Then, pple there were asking and asking and asking and i kept forgetting, walk until i forgot the pain i had in my feet. Can u imagine a face that is so black yet had to pretend a smile in front of guests? Then the god damn partner, kept on clearing oval trays which are yet to be full... I can't stand lor... Told him le, but he treat it as nothing. I was so so frustrated! Along the way, i kept telling myself, "I shouldn't have come back." It was the 1st time, i worked till all the vulgarities came out, no matter is it, C*** B**, F*****, Sucks and everything... I got so worked up. Eric tried to joke with me but i looked at him with a very fierce face and said "Its not funny" Then he a bit shocked, didn't dare to joke with me. Hai... It was a good thing that the guests didn't complain when i forgot stuff. *swEat* Some more, the captain... Hai... Dun wanna say, hopeless... Very hopeless...
Along the way, Xian Wen tried to cheer me up, but i guess she was unable to, coz i am really dying liao. Some things to smile about, one of the chef tried to play with me, billy kept on disturbing me, Firdaus trying to persuade me, Lau joke with me, Eric tried to play with me... Ha! Not bad, so many pple to entertain me. Ermm... Firdaus couldn't find OT workers, he walked to me, hold my hand so tight and asked me to work for him but i couldn't coz i gotta go school, very sorry bout that, he was very pissed that he can't find pple, i treat him a sweet, that's the least i could do.
At the end of the day, i looked at my partner and i sort of left a lot of things for him to do, i purposely do slowly and let him clear the tables. This time round, he couldn't escape to anywhere, haha... Evil... But i was really beat lor, i mean, having to walked so many rounds alone, for 3 tables, of not just 10pax but 2 of which consists of 11pax and 12pax respectively. I stood there a few times with my head blanked. I was like, extremely pissed. Other guests from other tables kept asking stuff from me, and i have to do it, i can't just let them be. And i thought to myself, "today sucks, i didn't come back for the CAsh." I hope i was but i was not. HAi... Went down dragging myself, ignoring everyone around. Changed up and felt like dying. Then, realised my phone was with bt kor... Ha! So waited for cindy and billy, i nearly choked to death in the changing room, some of the guys were smoking and i'm like dying down there, so quickly open the door, went out.
Saw bt kor, he joked with me, wanting to confiscate my phone, ok, smiled a bit coz of that, coz it's quite lame...Got phone back, 1st thing i did, called papa to see whether he's around Orchard, so he can fetch me back, but he was already at home. Dun wanna wait for bus alone sia... Saw Bt kor again and Billy reminded me something, so i asked bt kor to send me back... Haha! Ok, very bad to ask for it, but i was really beat and really dun wanna wait for the bus alone. Went to Orchard tower with them, bought drinks and sort of just look at them talked. They seem to be so happy, while i'm there trying very hard to calm down. Ermm... Eric talked while eating and i find it so funny coz the rice kept coming out, then i told him... HAhA! Funny WoR... Then notice Wei Xing very tired also. At least there was someone like me.
Went back to OHS, waited for bt kor. Ermm.. Then, i looked around again, looked at billy, i felt a sense of relief. Well, he got a cigarette in hand and talking real loud. I looked at him and it just felt so weird. Just weird. Anyway, bt kor came, i was so happy, finally can go back le... HA! On the bike, felt nothing but wind, wind and still wind. HEh! And i was falling asleep on kor's back a few times. He let me off below my block and i was wondering is his lao po ok not, with me on it. Ha! Anyway, back home, i started to bitch to papa mama bout the night. CAn't stand. Mama wanted me to eat but i got no appetite so dun wanna eat, bathed, and lay down on bed, about to sleep. However, as tired as i am, i couldn't fell asleep, no idea y, till 2am, i'm still tossing and turing and i realised mama haven't sleep, she keep making sounds and putting her hand and leg on me. KaO.. Disturb me. Finally, i fell asleep bah, for a short while.
Woke up today with one eye red and swollen, dunno wad happen, not enough sleep i guess... It subsided bout noon bah. In ava room the whole day for intensive MT lesson, beginning was fine, after recess i started to blunt into the comfort, and dozed off... HAHA! Ermm... A few msges with bt kor, haha! Thinking bout it, haven't msg him in school for a long time lor. HeH!
After school, there was Mock, stayed till 3.40pm. Reached home, cannot stand, ji tao fell on bed, sleep till 7+... wah... sleep so long. Msg Terence, talked to him a bit, he got something he wants to know.
O ya, Ting was telling me she was puzzled when she read my blog, well, i guess that's my aim, i mean, i can't exactly write out every single person mah, something should be left unkonown. Hee~ Secretive...
Ok, started my revision liao. Crucial week for me and my class. After 30th May, can finally relax a bit, dunno whether can relax not. Well, that's the future, dun worry yet.
Ciao!
I hate the feeling of being alone. I hate the surrounding when it's in silence. I hate myself when I couldn't let my emotion off. Can someone be around me, be it my friends, my family or just some strangers, to make my world a better one.
On the bus, i was msging with billy and reading reader's digest. The ride seem to be pretty fast, faster than it usually was. Walked into OHS slowly, changed slowly. Cindy came. chatting bout this and that, Billy came, same thing. 3 of us shared the same locker. HA! Went to eat, didn't feel like eating but pei Cindy, grab a bit only.
In the ballroom, i was already starting to regret on going to work coz i feel so sian, so tired, so dun-fit-in. No idea y, but those feelings were just there. Still, they were short of staff, I was totally dreaming out there. There was a lot of changes, and i was a bit confused. Later, end up with an Indonesian partner. The night SUCKS! Repeat again, SUCKS!!! Worst working day i ever had since i started working. It sucks so much. It was the 1st time i wanted to cry while working. I'm not joking lor, tears did come to my eyes twice. Sad sia... The partner kept on disappearing, and i gotta handle the 3 tables alone, taking care of beverage, portioning, serving... Wah! Then, pple there were asking and asking and asking and i kept forgetting, walk until i forgot the pain i had in my feet. Can u imagine a face that is so black yet had to pretend a smile in front of guests? Then the god damn partner, kept on clearing oval trays which are yet to be full... I can't stand lor... Told him le, but he treat it as nothing. I was so so frustrated! Along the way, i kept telling myself, "I shouldn't have come back." It was the 1st time, i worked till all the vulgarities came out, no matter is it, C*** B**, F*****, Sucks and everything... I got so worked up. Eric tried to joke with me but i looked at him with a very fierce face and said "Its not funny" Then he a bit shocked, didn't dare to joke with me. Hai... It was a good thing that the guests didn't complain when i forgot stuff. *swEat* Some more, the captain... Hai... Dun wanna say, hopeless... Very hopeless...
Along the way, Xian Wen tried to cheer me up, but i guess she was unable to, coz i am really dying liao. Some things to smile about, one of the chef tried to play with me, billy kept on disturbing me, Firdaus trying to persuade me, Lau joke with me, Eric tried to play with me... Ha! Not bad, so many pple to entertain me. Ermm... Firdaus couldn't find OT workers, he walked to me, hold my hand so tight and asked me to work for him but i couldn't coz i gotta go school, very sorry bout that, he was very pissed that he can't find pple, i treat him a sweet, that's the least i could do.
At the end of the day, i looked at my partner and i sort of left a lot of things for him to do, i purposely do slowly and let him clear the tables. This time round, he couldn't escape to anywhere, haha... Evil... But i was really beat lor, i mean, having to walked so many rounds alone, for 3 tables, of not just 10pax but 2 of which consists of 11pax and 12pax respectively. I stood there a few times with my head blanked. I was like, extremely pissed. Other guests from other tables kept asking stuff from me, and i have to do it, i can't just let them be. And i thought to myself, "today sucks, i didn't come back for the CAsh." I hope i was but i was not. HAi... Went down dragging myself, ignoring everyone around. Changed up and felt like dying. Then, realised my phone was with bt kor... Ha! So waited for cindy and billy, i nearly choked to death in the changing room, some of the guys were smoking and i'm like dying down there, so quickly open the door, went out.
Saw bt kor, he joked with me, wanting to confiscate my phone, ok, smiled a bit coz of that, coz it's quite lame...Got phone back, 1st thing i did, called papa to see whether he's around Orchard, so he can fetch me back, but he was already at home. Dun wanna wait for bus alone sia... Saw Bt kor again and Billy reminded me something, so i asked bt kor to send me back... Haha! Ok, very bad to ask for it, but i was really beat and really dun wanna wait for the bus alone. Went to Orchard tower with them, bought drinks and sort of just look at them talked. They seem to be so happy, while i'm there trying very hard to calm down. Ermm... Eric talked while eating and i find it so funny coz the rice kept coming out, then i told him... HAhA! Funny WoR... Then notice Wei Xing very tired also. At least there was someone like me.
Went back to OHS, waited for bt kor. Ermm.. Then, i looked around again, looked at billy, i felt a sense of relief. Well, he got a cigarette in hand and talking real loud. I looked at him and it just felt so weird. Just weird. Anyway, bt kor came, i was so happy, finally can go back le... HA! On the bike, felt nothing but wind, wind and still wind. HEh! And i was falling asleep on kor's back a few times. He let me off below my block and i was wondering is his lao po ok not, with me on it. Ha! Anyway, back home, i started to bitch to papa mama bout the night. CAn't stand. Mama wanted me to eat but i got no appetite so dun wanna eat, bathed, and lay down on bed, about to sleep. However, as tired as i am, i couldn't fell asleep, no idea y, till 2am, i'm still tossing and turing and i realised mama haven't sleep, she keep making sounds and putting her hand and leg on me. KaO.. Disturb me. Finally, i fell asleep bah, for a short while.
Woke up today with one eye red and swollen, dunno wad happen, not enough sleep i guess... It subsided bout noon bah. In ava room the whole day for intensive MT lesson, beginning was fine, after recess i started to blunt into the comfort, and dozed off... HAHA! Ermm... A few msges with bt kor, haha! Thinking bout it, haven't msg him in school for a long time lor. HeH!
After school, there was Mock, stayed till 3.40pm. Reached home, cannot stand, ji tao fell on bed, sleep till 7+... wah... sleep so long. Msg Terence, talked to him a bit, he got something he wants to know.
O ya, Ting was telling me she was puzzled when she read my blog, well, i guess that's my aim, i mean, i can't exactly write out every single person mah, something should be left unkonown. Hee~ Secretive...
Ok, started my revision liao. Crucial week for me and my class. After 30th May, can finally relax a bit, dunno whether can relax not. Well, that's the future, dun worry yet.
Ciao!
I hate the feeling of being alone. I hate the surrounding when it's in silence. I hate myself when I couldn't let my emotion off. Can someone be around me, be it my friends, my family or just some strangers, to make my world a better one.
Monday, May 23, 2005
Z.........
I saw somebody in friendster!!! And i WAS SHOCKED!!! EXTREMELY!!!! He changed so mUCH!!!! i Can't even recognized Him!!! Oh GoD!!! Haha... very weird once again... He, who is someone that i once treated very well... HeH! Changes are inevitable...
OMG!
Never really strained myself so hard for the past few months. Yesterday i did just that. Woke up at 7.30am, bathed, changed up, make-up and went out. Went to buy a bread and green tea as my breakfast. Took bus. Destination: Orchard Hotel. Along the way, i was wondering has Ting woke up already, so i msg her, but there was no replies. When i reached Orchard, just about to enter, she called me, and she sounds a bit panicky. Asked her to relax.After that, she told me she's gonna take cab down. After i've changed up, she called again and said she didn't bring her stockings, so i quickly changed back and ran out to look for it. Wah... sweat sia. In the end, met her at 7-11 and then went to guardian to buy. Wor....
She wasn't late at all, just on time. the work started with setting up and then pepper, vinegar, wine glass and so on. About 11.45am, went for lunch. Ermm... still quite normal.
Went back up and Chris said he's gonna give us 10min more and rest after that usher. Wah... this time round, ushering really makes me sick. 1 whole hour or even more, my back-bone really breaking le. And i still gotta bring the smile out. Some more, that Terry kept on li xiao-ing me, i was standing still then he kept hitting me and tapping my shoulder. Wah lao! Along the way, Chris and Lau stopped by to talk a bit. Ermm.. While i was a bit slacking liao, the GM came up, i a bit gong, and i didn't greet him but he came up from lift and once he was there, Lau was talking to him so I can't interrupt. hee~
Stewarding area, can't seem to find enough teaspoons, went back twice and waited. Ermm... While waiting, was msging someone, hahaha, bt kor came, wanting my hp, then i told ting, "bt kor a bit weird weird today." Ting didn't seemed to know wad happened till the 2nd time he came again and said the same thing, i was thinking, his mood very good today wor. HEh! Rare....
After that, was the tea break... During the tea-break, my mood swung a little, i was tired and very pissed with some of the guests, they act like i wanna steal their trophy like that. Please lor, wad's the use of taking that damn trophy of theirs, it's not like it's worth any cash. Sick! so wad if they are from the higher ends, Arrogant FoOLs! fucked up! That's y i got so pissed! And later, when terry was instructing me wad to do, i'm like a bit dun wanna do like that but i still did it, it's my job.
After everything, went on the ob1, 2 to helped out, actually wanted to help auntie saunty to push the cage somewhere but bt kor instructed to push the chairs and so i did it. Ermm... Got one tray-jack there, blocking the way, so i wanted to carry the oval tray back, but too heavy to lift up myself, so asked Lau to help. hahaha! then he asked the China trainee to help.. Heh! Save my strength.. Hehe~ Wee Loon very pissed yesterday, dunnoe y, i started to hear him scream and shout along the way. 5.38pm, allowed to go for Dinner. Ermm... didn't feel like eating so decided to just get a can of 100plus. Saw TingLing and her mama, went up with them. Went to store to sleep. Wah, my body, total break down sia. Lay on top of all those cloths and rest my legs and my brain. 6pm, went into ballroom. Still, laying on the stage, didn't care whether there were guests not, but think dun have coz nobody say. Haha! tingling was so hyper lor, she kept wanting to make me. HAhA! O ya, i open my eyes and saw a pair of black shoes in front of me and the next thing i know was my hair bun moving, bt kor was playing with it... very DoT dOt Dot... But still very sleepy. No choice, stood up, back to the original spot. Wee loon came and all the scoldings came... the black jackets were scolded cos they didnt' assemble on time. Yusoff was very pissed, very scared he would beat loon up... But doubt so lah... But the face was very scary lor. Then, after all the briefing and stuff, half was appointed to firdaus side, i was one of them.
Ermm... My mouth very big lor, go and tell Firdaus i can carry oval tray, god damn tired and yet my mouth still so big. Sad... But i was put with one auntie that is very experienced de. Heh! Dunnoe wads her name. After everyone had been appointed, bt kor was doing the presentation part. After that, Firdaus told me to go behind, arbo bt kor will come and asked me to go usher or cocktail so i quickly run along. HAHA! Firdaus real good to know wad i'm feeling.. Hee~ I guess i managed to escape bt kor's instruction but i think he also never wanna asked me to go lah. After a while, i kind of saw bt kor and he said, ushering at lvl1, wah lao, i ji tao shouted sia... But he was joking to me, i was really shocked lor, dun wanna usher anymore... Ushering phobia.Heh!
Function started... everything went smoothely bah. Except one of our table very slow, then cannot rush them. During the 1st course, they eat damn slow lor, then 2nd course came liao, theirs haven't serve, their 1st platter was still there, bt kor saw it and i gave him a face, told him, they dun allow... i think one of the Uncle saw my face and he told me with a smiling face that i can clear... HAHA!!!
The other 2 tables got 2 nice people. 1 from each. Got one guy, he keep helping me, or maybe he thinks it's basic courtesy bah. He passed all the plates to me, when i'm clearing and always said thank you and i'll smiled to him and said welcome. Hee~ Nice man there. The other table was one Ah mah. I went to clear plates and she asked me "That tray very heavy hor, y must u carry, very tiring, asked others to carry lah!" Then i told her "I'm younger mah.." In fact, i was very tired lor... Sweating liao. However, really appreciate it lor. Coz not many pple will go and see wad are we doing de. But this auntie did, and she didn't let me do a lot when i was serving them, she would say they'll help themselves. HeH! 1st time to have guests feeling pity for me.. HAHA!!! Along the way, while clearing or picking up, i saw bt kor and i told him "i wanna sleep liao" and he told me to lay down and sleep. Wah lao, feel like beating him, holding an oval tray and he asked me to lay down... HEH! very DOt Dot Dot loR... But knew he was joking lah.
And i took OT... I'm siao hor... Already a bit gong gong liao but still took OT. The worst part was my ankles hurting. Hai... But for the sake of having fun bah. haha! Was in the bar to drink water and rest a bit, then talking to everyone in there. Once again, my camera came out, took pics with everyone. Yusoff thought i'm not gonna work liao.. but told him no lah!
Ok, so just worked worked worked for the whole 2 hours. It was the night that i carried the most oval trays!!!!!! WTF! the pple took so many oval trays then i have to clear and there was no trolleys, my neck and arms breaking liao. packing store, 1st time, ermm... very warm...
Changed up, went to get pay. I was 3/4 dead this time, and Firdaus ran his finger up my nose then i'm like, "hey!!!"
Reached home, sat there, drink water, after a while, went to bed, sleep... Best sleep for the past 2 weeks... No tossing and turning, no dreaming, no nothing. Just slept till 2pm. HAhA! Longest sleep i ever had. wah... Very tiring lor... Strained so hard...
Somhow, i was glad.. Losing somebody but gaining even more. At least i know, there are some that cares bout me... A lot of whom i care bout and will continue to care till my last breathe. Some fools dun deserve my care, coz they sucks so much, not to mention who, but just somebody that i hate, hate even the sight of him. At least now, i have pple having fun with me... HAHAHA! No worries! I dun need someone to cuddle every now and then, i can have cuddling from my bunch of GrEAt ANd AweSomE buDdIes!
All in all, i had a great day with everyone that was there. Finally working day was over... Next week, is gonna be, cHinese ChinEse ChiNeSe.. O level LoR!
So i guess bt kor knew something le... Another load off my mind liao... MuHAHAHA!!! CIAo!
Still, my heart is sinking...
She wasn't late at all, just on time. the work started with setting up and then pepper, vinegar, wine glass and so on. About 11.45am, went for lunch. Ermm... still quite normal.
Went back up and Chris said he's gonna give us 10min more and rest after that usher. Wah... this time round, ushering really makes me sick. 1 whole hour or even more, my back-bone really breaking le. And i still gotta bring the smile out. Some more, that Terry kept on li xiao-ing me, i was standing still then he kept hitting me and tapping my shoulder. Wah lao! Along the way, Chris and Lau stopped by to talk a bit. Ermm.. While i was a bit slacking liao, the GM came up, i a bit gong, and i didn't greet him but he came up from lift and once he was there, Lau was talking to him so I can't interrupt. hee~
Stewarding area, can't seem to find enough teaspoons, went back twice and waited. Ermm... While waiting, was msging someone, hahaha, bt kor came, wanting my hp, then i told ting, "bt kor a bit weird weird today." Ting didn't seemed to know wad happened till the 2nd time he came again and said the same thing, i was thinking, his mood very good today wor. HEh! Rare....
After that, was the tea break... During the tea-break, my mood swung a little, i was tired and very pissed with some of the guests, they act like i wanna steal their trophy like that. Please lor, wad's the use of taking that damn trophy of theirs, it's not like it's worth any cash. Sick! so wad if they are from the higher ends, Arrogant FoOLs! fucked up! That's y i got so pissed! And later, when terry was instructing me wad to do, i'm like a bit dun wanna do like that but i still did it, it's my job.
After everything, went on the ob1, 2 to helped out, actually wanted to help auntie saunty to push the cage somewhere but bt kor instructed to push the chairs and so i did it. Ermm... Got one tray-jack there, blocking the way, so i wanted to carry the oval tray back, but too heavy to lift up myself, so asked Lau to help. hahaha! then he asked the China trainee to help.. Heh! Save my strength.. Hehe~ Wee Loon very pissed yesterday, dunnoe y, i started to hear him scream and shout along the way. 5.38pm, allowed to go for Dinner. Ermm... didn't feel like eating so decided to just get a can of 100plus. Saw TingLing and her mama, went up with them. Went to store to sleep. Wah, my body, total break down sia. Lay on top of all those cloths and rest my legs and my brain. 6pm, went into ballroom. Still, laying on the stage, didn't care whether there were guests not, but think dun have coz nobody say. Haha! tingling was so hyper lor, she kept wanting to make me. HAhA! O ya, i open my eyes and saw a pair of black shoes in front of me and the next thing i know was my hair bun moving, bt kor was playing with it... very DoT dOt Dot... But still very sleepy. No choice, stood up, back to the original spot. Wee loon came and all the scoldings came... the black jackets were scolded cos they didnt' assemble on time. Yusoff was very pissed, very scared he would beat loon up... But doubt so lah... But the face was very scary lor. Then, after all the briefing and stuff, half was appointed to firdaus side, i was one of them.
Ermm... My mouth very big lor, go and tell Firdaus i can carry oval tray, god damn tired and yet my mouth still so big. Sad... But i was put with one auntie that is very experienced de. Heh! Dunnoe wads her name. After everyone had been appointed, bt kor was doing the presentation part. After that, Firdaus told me to go behind, arbo bt kor will come and asked me to go usher or cocktail so i quickly run along. HAHA! Firdaus real good to know wad i'm feeling.. Hee~ I guess i managed to escape bt kor's instruction but i think he also never wanna asked me to go lah. After a while, i kind of saw bt kor and he said, ushering at lvl1, wah lao, i ji tao shouted sia... But he was joking to me, i was really shocked lor, dun wanna usher anymore... Ushering phobia.Heh!
Function started... everything went smoothely bah. Except one of our table very slow, then cannot rush them. During the 1st course, they eat damn slow lor, then 2nd course came liao, theirs haven't serve, their 1st platter was still there, bt kor saw it and i gave him a face, told him, they dun allow... i think one of the Uncle saw my face and he told me with a smiling face that i can clear... HAHA!!!
The other 2 tables got 2 nice people. 1 from each. Got one guy, he keep helping me, or maybe he thinks it's basic courtesy bah. He passed all the plates to me, when i'm clearing and always said thank you and i'll smiled to him and said welcome. Hee~ Nice man there. The other table was one Ah mah. I went to clear plates and she asked me "That tray very heavy hor, y must u carry, very tiring, asked others to carry lah!" Then i told her "I'm younger mah.." In fact, i was very tired lor... Sweating liao. However, really appreciate it lor. Coz not many pple will go and see wad are we doing de. But this auntie did, and she didn't let me do a lot when i was serving them, she would say they'll help themselves. HeH! 1st time to have guests feeling pity for me.. HAHA!!! Along the way, while clearing or picking up, i saw bt kor and i told him "i wanna sleep liao" and he told me to lay down and sleep. Wah lao, feel like beating him, holding an oval tray and he asked me to lay down... HEH! very DOt Dot Dot loR... But knew he was joking lah.
And i took OT... I'm siao hor... Already a bit gong gong liao but still took OT. The worst part was my ankles hurting. Hai... But for the sake of having fun bah. haha! Was in the bar to drink water and rest a bit, then talking to everyone in there. Once again, my camera came out, took pics with everyone. Yusoff thought i'm not gonna work liao.. but told him no lah!
Ok, so just worked worked worked for the whole 2 hours. It was the night that i carried the most oval trays!!!!!! WTF! the pple took so many oval trays then i have to clear and there was no trolleys, my neck and arms breaking liao. packing store, 1st time, ermm... very warm...
Changed up, went to get pay. I was 3/4 dead this time, and Firdaus ran his finger up my nose then i'm like, "hey!!!"
Reached home, sat there, drink water, after a while, went to bed, sleep... Best sleep for the past 2 weeks... No tossing and turning, no dreaming, no nothing. Just slept till 2pm. HAhA! Longest sleep i ever had. wah... Very tiring lor... Strained so hard...
Somhow, i was glad.. Losing somebody but gaining even more. At least i know, there are some that cares bout me... A lot of whom i care bout and will continue to care till my last breathe. Some fools dun deserve my care, coz they sucks so much, not to mention who, but just somebody that i hate, hate even the sight of him. At least now, i have pple having fun with me... HAHAHA! No worries! I dun need someone to cuddle every now and then, i can have cuddling from my bunch of GrEAt ANd AweSomE buDdIes!
All in all, i had a great day with everyone that was there. Finally working day was over... Next week, is gonna be, cHinese ChinEse ChiNeSe.. O level LoR!
So i guess bt kor knew something le... Another load off my mind liao... MuHAHAHA!!! CIAo!
Still, my heart is sinking...
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Sports' Day 2005
I lost my way
In a place I don't know
I try to find a way
But it seems to no avail
Should I just let it go
Should I just move on
Or should I stay here
At the original spot
I'm in confusion
I can't move on
I could not find that light
That would guide me through it all
Maybe I'll find the way
Out of these blues
And then I'll walk that path
To a brighter world
It might be today
Or maybe tomorrow
But I have that faith
That it will be here one day
Through the darkness
I will press on
For I know
That if I don't
I will be losing this battle
And you might be lost
Till then
I will
Watch the sunrise
Alone
Sports Day 2005... Ermm... Boring today. I didn't run, basically after getting into Sec, i have never ran for my house, cos it's not fun at all. I mean, running for my house? I would run if it is for my class. So i was dubbed the "betrayal" of Apache house. Heh! Coz i didn't wear house T-shirt and i migrated to Lakota house... HahA! However, along the way, i cheered for my house! HAhAHA! Then some Lakotas' stared at me. A bit paiseh but never mind, i'm cheering for my house.
Anyway, the thing went on very slow.. Was like totally dying liao and people were still shouting there to make the atmosphere higher. Apache got lots of trophies today but we did not trumiph as the overall Champs instead, Lakota got it again. heh! Well, they should, all of them were very enthu. However, for Apache to get B, C divison(girls and boys) overall champs is a bit not suitable since the overall champs weren't us. HAha!!! Nvm, Apache is Hillgrove's 1st ever Sports day Champs, but we only managed to hold it for a year. heh! Next year, we'll see.
Nothing much happened today lah. O ya, in the morning, when we were in school, i'm sneezing like siao lor, we were at the AVA room and i was like god damn cold, kept on sneezing, good thing Ping Hong got tissue paper, but not enough for the 2 of us to use. i'm like, 9.30 arrived!!!!! HAHAHA...
Ermm... This few days, my hp siao siao one, the ringtone change automatically. Good thing i was able to fix it back. hee~
Hao, end here, wanna go call yu le... Ciao!
In a place I don't know
I try to find a way
But it seems to no avail
Should I just let it go
Should I just move on
Or should I stay here
At the original spot
I'm in confusion
I can't move on
I could not find that light
That would guide me through it all
Maybe I'll find the way
Out of these blues
And then I'll walk that path
To a brighter world
It might be today
Or maybe tomorrow
But I have that faith
That it will be here one day
Through the darkness
I will press on
For I know
That if I don't
I will be losing this battle
And you might be lost
Till then
I will
Watch the sunrise
Alone
Sports Day 2005... Ermm... Boring today. I didn't run, basically after getting into Sec, i have never ran for my house, cos it's not fun at all. I mean, running for my house? I would run if it is for my class. So i was dubbed the "betrayal" of Apache house. Heh! Coz i didn't wear house T-shirt and i migrated to Lakota house... HahA! However, along the way, i cheered for my house! HAhAHA! Then some Lakotas' stared at me. A bit paiseh but never mind, i'm cheering for my house.
Anyway, the thing went on very slow.. Was like totally dying liao and people were still shouting there to make the atmosphere higher. Apache got lots of trophies today but we did not trumiph as the overall Champs instead, Lakota got it again. heh! Well, they should, all of them were very enthu. However, for Apache to get B, C divison(girls and boys) overall champs is a bit not suitable since the overall champs weren't us. HAha!!! Nvm, Apache is Hillgrove's 1st ever Sports day Champs, but we only managed to hold it for a year. heh! Next year, we'll see.
Nothing much happened today lah. O ya, in the morning, when we were in school, i'm sneezing like siao lor, we were at the AVA room and i was like god damn cold, kept on sneezing, good thing Ping Hong got tissue paper, but not enough for the 2 of us to use. i'm like, 9.30 arrived!!!!! HAHAHA...
Ermm... This few days, my hp siao siao one, the ringtone change automatically. Good thing i was able to fix it back. hee~
Hao, end here, wanna go call yu le... Ciao!
Friday, May 20, 2005
Diao...
The day started with me dying... Heh... Last night, i couldn't sleep, was thinking bout lots of things, from results to him to friends and family. Somehow, i managed to force myself to bed at bout 2am. I was damn tired. Dragged myself out of bed and went to school. Once in school, my butt was stick to the ground, did not stand up, sat there and rest. Sickening start of the day.
However, Mr Loh gave us, or rather just me, plenty of time to slack coz he did not teach anything, just talking bout the BBQ that he's organising for us and stuff like that. Not much stuff happened in school today. Ermm... Ting went home in the middle of the day coz her eye was swollen... Hope she's ok now. Then, during PG, Miss Ang was telling us a pretty sad thing, she lost her grandma over the weekend... Feel sad for her... Other than that, CL mock was fine and so, school ended with nothing much to be happy bout.
After school, walked home with Yong Soon, he was complaining bout the chocolate milk he bought doesn't taste good, so i say HL one better. Hee~ There's a cockroach at his house, ha! His whole family is afraid of Cockroach so i told him, stand behind it coz it can't move behind. HAhaha! He was like totally freaked out cos it can FLY! HAHAHA!!!
Mama informed me to cook myself coz she got no time to cook. So i abided. Cooked for my 2kor as well.. Then da kor wanted me to cook for him then i'm like "Do it yourself lah, very tired le!" Then we started bickering again, not the serious type of bickering but those kiddy type... HAHA!
Ermm.. Received a call from ting, she was laughing on the phone when i picked it up, and i thought it was some crazy pple, she asked me Chris got call me not. I said no and she said that she's gonna work on SAt, 10am, asked me whether i'm working not, said no. However, asked her to ask Chris can work from 10am to 11pm mah, initially i was joking and i thought even if she asked, he might not agreed but to my astonishment, he agreed and i was a bit shocked and laugh laugh laugh but agreed to work lor. can earn quite a bit... hee~ Anyway, after Sat, wun go back till after 30 May, gonna concentrate on MT le... Work can wait, my bill can also wait. No worries. Maybe will missed some of the pple at work? HEh! I'm just kidding! For wad should i miss them... HAHA! Maybe will missed my "2nd boyfriend" HAHAHA, ting referred him as my "2nd boyfriend", so FUNNY! But, nah, i wun. I promised myself to focus. :P
Just now, Desmond wanna sent me something and i refused to accept coz it was an unknown stuff, asked him wad, he doesn't wanna say, i insist on not accepting and he was like "Dun wanna accept then 4get it lor!" Old tactics he's using, trying to make me feel bad, come on! I'm a changed person! No use, using those foolish words on me, i no longer fall for it anymore, and in the end i still didn't accept, i make it a point to make my own decision now and not let others play with my mind, especially HIM! Goodness! Foolish act. Didn't except myself to type so much bout him, wun do it again, dun worry!
Night was like that, watch TV the whole night, did nothing, very bad hor me, nv study, but trying to give myself a break, moreover, no tests and tml is sports day, half day only. Intensive MT lesson. Well, long day again tml.
Wad i'm gonna do? Next 2 days will be taking studies out of my mind, and when Sunday arrives, no more fun and hanging out, just pure study. That's my plan. Hope nothing will interrupt it.
I thought of him just now, I could not hold myself back this time. My thoughts run wild and all the questions came. Can I really go on without any distraction? Only I know.
However, Mr Loh gave us, or rather just me, plenty of time to slack coz he did not teach anything, just talking bout the BBQ that he's organising for us and stuff like that. Not much stuff happened in school today. Ermm... Ting went home in the middle of the day coz her eye was swollen... Hope she's ok now. Then, during PG, Miss Ang was telling us a pretty sad thing, she lost her grandma over the weekend... Feel sad for her... Other than that, CL mock was fine and so, school ended with nothing much to be happy bout.
After school, walked home with Yong Soon, he was complaining bout the chocolate milk he bought doesn't taste good, so i say HL one better. Hee~ There's a cockroach at his house, ha! His whole family is afraid of Cockroach so i told him, stand behind it coz it can't move behind. HAhaha! He was like totally freaked out cos it can FLY! HAHAHA!!!
Mama informed me to cook myself coz she got no time to cook. So i abided. Cooked for my 2kor as well.. Then da kor wanted me to cook for him then i'm like "Do it yourself lah, very tired le!" Then we started bickering again, not the serious type of bickering but those kiddy type... HAHA!
Ermm.. Received a call from ting, she was laughing on the phone when i picked it up, and i thought it was some crazy pple, she asked me Chris got call me not. I said no and she said that she's gonna work on SAt, 10am, asked me whether i'm working not, said no. However, asked her to ask Chris can work from 10am to 11pm mah, initially i was joking and i thought even if she asked, he might not agreed but to my astonishment, he agreed and i was a bit shocked and laugh laugh laugh but agreed to work lor. can earn quite a bit... hee~ Anyway, after Sat, wun go back till after 30 May, gonna concentrate on MT le... Work can wait, my bill can also wait. No worries. Maybe will missed some of the pple at work? HEh! I'm just kidding! For wad should i miss them... HAHA! Maybe will missed my "2nd boyfriend" HAHAHA, ting referred him as my "2nd boyfriend", so FUNNY! But, nah, i wun. I promised myself to focus. :P
Just now, Desmond wanna sent me something and i refused to accept coz it was an unknown stuff, asked him wad, he doesn't wanna say, i insist on not accepting and he was like "Dun wanna accept then 4get it lor!" Old tactics he's using, trying to make me feel bad, come on! I'm a changed person! No use, using those foolish words on me, i no longer fall for it anymore, and in the end i still didn't accept, i make it a point to make my own decision now and not let others play with my mind, especially HIM! Goodness! Foolish act. Didn't except myself to type so much bout him, wun do it again, dun worry!
Night was like that, watch TV the whole night, did nothing, very bad hor me, nv study, but trying to give myself a break, moreover, no tests and tml is sports day, half day only. Intensive MT lesson. Well, long day again tml.
Wad i'm gonna do? Next 2 days will be taking studies out of my mind, and when Sunday arrives, no more fun and hanging out, just pure study. That's my plan. Hope nothing will interrupt it.
I thought of him just now, I could not hold myself back this time. My thoughts run wild and all the questions came. Can I really go on without any distraction? Only I know.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Standing in the middle of everything but not falling.
Hai... So i guess the ending is set, i failed my EL for the 1st time... I felt that i've let Miss Teo down, she came to my table there and kind of gave me two taps and asked me "Wad happened?!" And she seemed very disappointed in me, likewise, i am very disappointed in myself. Hai... She was trying to console us by telling us that she is not very worried for us yet and that she will still help us along the way. I nearly cried upon hearing all the words she said, i mean, i have nv heard any teacher talked to us this way, not even Mrs Loo... She made me feel so touched, i guess she is truely a great teacher. Unable to describe the feeling, she just gave us so much encouragement, tears nearly fell down a few times but i hold it back. Well, gotta thank Miss Teo for that. Anyway, maybe coz the paper is difficult? Coz quite a lot of pple failed even those that pass only managed the most a B3. SAd lor... However, my mood wasn't as bad as it was yesterday, i got over the failure after a short while.
I kind of told Linda bout the unhappiness i had with that person. Ermm.. U should know who if u read bout yesterday. She was surprised that she said that to me. Then she kind of told me bout another person that she was upset bout whenever we got our EL paper. Ermm... Well, bitching to each other bout the different friends that we had some hatre bout.
Anyway, later got back Chem paper, ermm... Still, science ain't that good. got a B3 instead of my target. Sad... Then Maths paper, made me a little bit happy coz got 2 more marks. Still an A1 though but hopefully, it adds a bit to my %. Just hoping bah... Erm.. Then, it was Humanities, erm... manage to pass bah, not a nice grade for me... But i guess i did my best... Next round, i'm gonna catch it real hard.
ermm... K, so results stuff dun bother me anymore, it's done and that's wad i got, i got no control over it at all... O ya, the D&T, heh, i rushed out and got an A2. Thank god, at least there are 2 As. At least... Anyway, next up will be O level CL, i will buck up for it, and will not let Mdm khong or myself down! Will NOt!
I kicked someone's butt today. Jenn's butt then she actually pinch mine... So HArd! I was like.... WTH! But then i kicked her another time. Kind of brought my spirit up a little. Ermm... Just glad...
LAst night was talking to Tingling bout some stuff, ermm.. She gave me some encouragement, ermm... I guess she was not in a good mood herself either but thankful for her to be there to console me.
Ee kept thinking i'm not ok, he would asked me how am i every alternate day. the truth is i'm not really ok yesterday but i was entirely fine today. Hee~ Different mood on different day... Erm... "He" msg me today and i kind of felt weird cos is that suppose to happen?! HAhAha! Wondering lah, but anyway, it's ok de...
CL mock paper 1 today.. The atmosphere was a bit serious when Mrs yeow started talking and i kind of realised they are all very anxious bout our CL... Maybe its for the school but then again, we should know it is for our own good. In the midst of the paper, while i was starting to check, a disgusting stench came by. WTF! u cannot imagine how it smelled man! it started with a bit of rubbish truck kind of smell then slowly, it became like shit then lao sai... The pungent smell was killing me lor! I can't breathe, i nearly died sia... I was telling the truth lor! CAn never forget that stench. the mock paper, i kind of challenge myself a bit. i gave up the usual descriptive essay and went for narrative type... News... Ermm... Really a big challenge coz i nv was good at it, but i'm trying it out, a duel between the past me and the present me. Hope it will come out good.
Ermm.. very thirsty now... HA! Dunnoe y, later go make ice water drink. God damn thirsty. I broke the news of my failing to my mama, she didn't scold me lah, just say then how and nag a bit lor. Hai.. very sad... But i assured her that i will do better for prelim. Definitely! Did revision for Mt mock p2 tml, ermm... not really done but tml will continue.
So, i got all the results of my MYE, wasn't good at all basically coz i didn't put in much effort either. No sacriface, no gain, i guess... heh! Hope somehow, somewhat i will be able to remain at 3rd. PrAy.. but if it doesn't, i gotta accept my own mistake...
Tomorrow is another day, live it well then... Rather than all the bitching. MuHahA!
I saw the care she gave us, felt the warmth she sent. Most of all, the effort she has given just to let us know that we are better than we thought we are. -To Miss Teo-
I kind of told Linda bout the unhappiness i had with that person. Ermm.. U should know who if u read bout yesterday. She was surprised that she said that to me. Then she kind of told me bout another person that she was upset bout whenever we got our EL paper. Ermm... Well, bitching to each other bout the different friends that we had some hatre bout.
Anyway, later got back Chem paper, ermm... Still, science ain't that good. got a B3 instead of my target. Sad... Then Maths paper, made me a little bit happy coz got 2 more marks. Still an A1 though but hopefully, it adds a bit to my %. Just hoping bah... Erm.. Then, it was Humanities, erm... manage to pass bah, not a nice grade for me... But i guess i did my best... Next round, i'm gonna catch it real hard.
ermm... K, so results stuff dun bother me anymore, it's done and that's wad i got, i got no control over it at all... O ya, the D&T, heh, i rushed out and got an A2. Thank god, at least there are 2 As. At least... Anyway, next up will be O level CL, i will buck up for it, and will not let Mdm khong or myself down! Will NOt!
I kicked someone's butt today. Jenn's butt then she actually pinch mine... So HArd! I was like.... WTH! But then i kicked her another time. Kind of brought my spirit up a little. Ermm... Just glad...
LAst night was talking to Tingling bout some stuff, ermm.. She gave me some encouragement, ermm... I guess she was not in a good mood herself either but thankful for her to be there to console me.
Ee kept thinking i'm not ok, he would asked me how am i every alternate day. the truth is i'm not really ok yesterday but i was entirely fine today. Hee~ Different mood on different day... Erm... "He" msg me today and i kind of felt weird cos is that suppose to happen?! HAhAha! Wondering lah, but anyway, it's ok de...
CL mock paper 1 today.. The atmosphere was a bit serious when Mrs yeow started talking and i kind of realised they are all very anxious bout our CL... Maybe its for the school but then again, we should know it is for our own good. In the midst of the paper, while i was starting to check, a disgusting stench came by. WTF! u cannot imagine how it smelled man! it started with a bit of rubbish truck kind of smell then slowly, it became like shit then lao sai... The pungent smell was killing me lor! I can't breathe, i nearly died sia... I was telling the truth lor! CAn never forget that stench. the mock paper, i kind of challenge myself a bit. i gave up the usual descriptive essay and went for narrative type... News... Ermm... Really a big challenge coz i nv was good at it, but i'm trying it out, a duel between the past me and the present me. Hope it will come out good.
Ermm.. very thirsty now... HA! Dunnoe y, later go make ice water drink. God damn thirsty. I broke the news of my failing to my mama, she didn't scold me lah, just say then how and nag a bit lor. Hai.. very sad... But i assured her that i will do better for prelim. Definitely! Did revision for Mt mock p2 tml, ermm... not really done but tml will continue.
So, i got all the results of my MYE, wasn't good at all basically coz i didn't put in much effort either. No sacriface, no gain, i guess... heh! Hope somehow, somewhat i will be able to remain at 3rd. PrAy.. but if it doesn't, i gotta accept my own mistake...
Tomorrow is another day, live it well then... Rather than all the bitching. MuHahA!
I saw the care she gave us, felt the warmth she sent. Most of all, the effort she has given just to let us know that we are better than we thought we are. -To Miss Teo-
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
My results brings me Down...
Just another bad day. 1st time since the rise, i failed my EL paper 2... This is so impossible. Wad hurt me most was not the failing of the paper, it's the mocking of hers. How come she likes to do that so often. I mean, i never do that to her when she failed her test. Ok, she failed the paper too but her marks was higher than mine, and she goes "Huh?! How come like that?" Shit! I'm like, so wad if she got higher, so wad if i didn't do well? WAd sort of a friend is that? I never did that to her at all... Sometimes, her every moves just make me think, is she worth my friendship? Wadever, but she wasn't happy for long, she failed her Geog, but then again, i did not laugh at her, the most i did was "I pass my paper." And i even tried to cheer her up by telling her "Dun be sad lah" Sickening sia...
However, i should blame myself for all these mocking. I deserve it! Failing my EL, a serious offence in my own rule. Till now, i still can't believe i failed it... WAD can i DO?! Somemore CL came out so bad as well... Both my language are falling apart. The 2 subjects that i'm always proud of.. Falling apart... How can it be? Is the papers too difficult to handle? It doesn't seem so since others can do it... Y can't i?! I've disappoint myself badly, so bad that i wanna slit my own throat... A bit exaggerating but i'm just so frustrated especially when i saw that arrogance from that somebody. CAn't stand the fact that she is like that. How come i dun boost bout it, yet she always must when she did better? Ok, maybe part of myself is just jealous but the fact is, if she nv had said anything of that sort, i would have admit i lost with my hat off but she didn't. Not like others came boosting to me! HAi... Just my luck... Now, i'm just trying to focus a bit. EL, leave it aside for a while. CL is the most important thing now, i can't afford to get another B in the real paper. It will be a test for myself and a duel between Me AnD MYSELF! I wun allow myself to fall again. I will retain my glory once more. U can wait and see! No more mockings from those ......... people!
As for Geog, excepted that mark, i was just glad i passed it well... However, i dun except an A this time, wun be possible to get 40+ for my SS, just hoping i would at least get a B3. Really, degrading myself a lot this time round, i hope it is only coz our internal script is difficult. I pray that O level wun be such rough papers.
Awaiting the results for Chemistry paper, i hope maybe for science i can reach my target and remained as it is at A2.... So far, i only got my MAths that reached the target, one and only, sad... very sad... Hopefully, science would reach the target too. Somehow, i have a feeling that my position can no longer remained at 3rd. A premonition for MYE. Man, i hate this premonition. But, i hope miracle would appear and just let me stand at the place that i've had for such a long time, and the place that i strived so hard for... Please...
Seriously, i am a bit confused with all the results.. I dunnoe whether the one i'm holding is the final one that will be keyed into the report card. Only Chinese... I was wondering, how come i couldn't get an extra mark when some others can. A bit furious with it, i mean, come on, it's only a mark, it's not like they can't give it in compo or letter. Hai.. No point bargaining when the decision is out. I can only feel sad and disappointed and later strive harder...BAd exam.. I have only myself to blame. Honestly, i really didn't put in much effort into this mYE. But i did for CL!!! It came out making me cry! HAi...I almost broke down.... But then hold myself up and just console myself. Never mind, no more slacking le, gonna get everything together, and really focus on wad gotta be done. I will not let myself down anymore. I WILL NOT! I will get an A1 out of my CL O level, i will not retake, one shot and that's it, an A1, and i am determined to fight it all out with myself!!!!
As for the others, the holiday will be a good time to sharpen everything. Ok, enough of all the bitching, it's over. Dun wanna breed over it and get devastated...
Something happy, got 2 belated gifts from 3 friends, like i say, friends r the best when everything is crushing down. But not those arrogant ones!!! And i sort of got a bit Off at the end of the day and started to crap with Ping Hong a bit, he was like "wah lao!" And he kept on beating me today, wah lao, siao one lor! HAhA!
Back home, have an urge to go popular buy a book but then it was raining so i decided not to. Maybe tml? O ya, i still got my D&T not completed, i need an A2 for this sia... Tml will beg Miss lim to give me one more day to complete everything and for god sake, hope that i will at least get an A2 or better an A1 if i complete everything!!! Hope So!
k, from all this, i guess u should know i'm somebody who will get very bothered by my results and studies definitely is my 1st priority. So please dun mess with me, even my closest friends and dun blame me if i get nasty when i am doing work and u come bothering me coz i will get really mad... For now, i just hope everything will turn out fine. Especially my position... Hai... Fussing over it again... Dun talk le...
Hao.. tml will be another long day, CL p1 mock, i'm gonna treat this one serious, i dun wanna make myself disappointed anymore... At least a 50 /70, nothing lesser than 50! Or i might end up killing myself, Jk! I'm not so foolish... HeH!
Shut up and look at yourself! You are not any better! Stop all your mockery! Arrogance never bring you wealth but the loss of everything else! Bear in mind that I can always be better than you and I can also mock at you but that's my choice and I chose not to 'cause in my heart I know, that all this will just dampen your spirit and make u lost your soul. I am kind enough to let you off. Somehow, I am just a person who will be satisfied if you are just a normal person. I just felt sad 'cause you dampen my spirit on purpose, something someone whom I call friend shouldn't have done but u did it. Rest assure that the days of arrogance will not last 'cause I am determined to get my glory back and when that day comes, you can mock at me no more! My principle tells me, that I should not mock at anyone, so even if I have my glory, I will not show off to you and dampen that spirit of yours... -Sorry, i can't control myself-
However, i should blame myself for all these mocking. I deserve it! Failing my EL, a serious offence in my own rule. Till now, i still can't believe i failed it... WAD can i DO?! Somemore CL came out so bad as well... Both my language are falling apart. The 2 subjects that i'm always proud of.. Falling apart... How can it be? Is the papers too difficult to handle? It doesn't seem so since others can do it... Y can't i?! I've disappoint myself badly, so bad that i wanna slit my own throat... A bit exaggerating but i'm just so frustrated especially when i saw that arrogance from that somebody. CAn't stand the fact that she is like that. How come i dun boost bout it, yet she always must when she did better? Ok, maybe part of myself is just jealous but the fact is, if she nv had said anything of that sort, i would have admit i lost with my hat off but she didn't. Not like others came boosting to me! HAi... Just my luck... Now, i'm just trying to focus a bit. EL, leave it aside for a while. CL is the most important thing now, i can't afford to get another B in the real paper. It will be a test for myself and a duel between Me AnD MYSELF! I wun allow myself to fall again. I will retain my glory once more. U can wait and see! No more mockings from those ......... people!
As for Geog, excepted that mark, i was just glad i passed it well... However, i dun except an A this time, wun be possible to get 40+ for my SS, just hoping i would at least get a B3. Really, degrading myself a lot this time round, i hope it is only coz our internal script is difficult. I pray that O level wun be such rough papers.
Awaiting the results for Chemistry paper, i hope maybe for science i can reach my target and remained as it is at A2.... So far, i only got my MAths that reached the target, one and only, sad... very sad... Hopefully, science would reach the target too. Somehow, i have a feeling that my position can no longer remained at 3rd. A premonition for MYE. Man, i hate this premonition. But, i hope miracle would appear and just let me stand at the place that i've had for such a long time, and the place that i strived so hard for... Please...
Seriously, i am a bit confused with all the results.. I dunnoe whether the one i'm holding is the final one that will be keyed into the report card. Only Chinese... I was wondering, how come i couldn't get an extra mark when some others can. A bit furious with it, i mean, come on, it's only a mark, it's not like they can't give it in compo or letter. Hai.. No point bargaining when the decision is out. I can only feel sad and disappointed and later strive harder...BAd exam.. I have only myself to blame. Honestly, i really didn't put in much effort into this mYE. But i did for CL!!! It came out making me cry! HAi...I almost broke down.... But then hold myself up and just console myself. Never mind, no more slacking le, gonna get everything together, and really focus on wad gotta be done. I will not let myself down anymore. I WILL NOT! I will get an A1 out of my CL O level, i will not retake, one shot and that's it, an A1, and i am determined to fight it all out with myself!!!!
As for the others, the holiday will be a good time to sharpen everything. Ok, enough of all the bitching, it's over. Dun wanna breed over it and get devastated...
Something happy, got 2 belated gifts from 3 friends, like i say, friends r the best when everything is crushing down. But not those arrogant ones!!! And i sort of got a bit Off at the end of the day and started to crap with Ping Hong a bit, he was like "wah lao!" And he kept on beating me today, wah lao, siao one lor! HAhA!
Back home, have an urge to go popular buy a book but then it was raining so i decided not to. Maybe tml? O ya, i still got my D&T not completed, i need an A2 for this sia... Tml will beg Miss lim to give me one more day to complete everything and for god sake, hope that i will at least get an A2 or better an A1 if i complete everything!!! Hope So!
k, from all this, i guess u should know i'm somebody who will get very bothered by my results and studies definitely is my 1st priority. So please dun mess with me, even my closest friends and dun blame me if i get nasty when i am doing work and u come bothering me coz i will get really mad... For now, i just hope everything will turn out fine. Especially my position... Hai... Fussing over it again... Dun talk le...
Hao.. tml will be another long day, CL p1 mock, i'm gonna treat this one serious, i dun wanna make myself disappointed anymore... At least a 50 /70, nothing lesser than 50! Or i might end up killing myself, Jk! I'm not so foolish... HeH!
Shut up and look at yourself! You are not any better! Stop all your mockery! Arrogance never bring you wealth but the loss of everything else! Bear in mind that I can always be better than you and I can also mock at you but that's my choice and I chose not to 'cause in my heart I know, that all this will just dampen your spirit and make u lost your soul. I am kind enough to let you off. Somehow, I am just a person who will be satisfied if you are just a normal person. I just felt sad 'cause you dampen my spirit on purpose, something someone whom I call friend shouldn't have done but u did it. Rest assure that the days of arrogance will not last 'cause I am determined to get my glory back and when that day comes, you can mock at me no more! My principle tells me, that I should not mock at anyone, so even if I have my glory, I will not show off to you and dampen that spirit of yours... -Sorry, i can't control myself-
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