Just another bad day. 1st time since the rise, i failed my EL paper 2... This is so impossible. Wad hurt me most was not the failing of the paper, it's the mocking of hers. How come she likes to do that so often. I mean, i never do that to her when she failed her test. Ok, she failed the paper too but her marks was higher than mine, and she goes "Huh?! How come like that?" Shit! I'm like, so wad if she got higher, so wad if i didn't do well? WAd sort of a friend is that? I never did that to her at all... Sometimes, her every moves just make me think, is she worth my friendship? Wadever, but she wasn't happy for long, she failed her Geog, but then again, i did not laugh at her, the most i did was "I pass my paper." And i even tried to cheer her up by telling her "Dun be sad lah" Sickening sia...
However, i should blame myself for all these mocking. I deserve it! Failing my EL, a serious offence in my own rule. Till now, i still can't believe i failed it... WAD can i DO?! Somemore CL came out so bad as well... Both my language are falling apart. The 2 subjects that i'm always proud of.. Falling apart... How can it be? Is the papers too difficult to handle? It doesn't seem so since others can do it... Y can't i?! I've disappoint myself badly, so bad that i wanna slit my own throat... A bit exaggerating but i'm just so frustrated especially when i saw that arrogance from that somebody. CAn't stand the fact that she is like that. How come i dun boost bout it, yet she always must when she did better? Ok, maybe part of myself is just jealous but the fact is, if she nv had said anything of that sort, i would have admit i lost with my hat off but she didn't. Not like others came boosting to me! HAi... Just my luck... Now, i'm just trying to focus a bit. EL, leave it aside for a while. CL is the most important thing now, i can't afford to get another B in the real paper. It will be a test for myself and a duel between Me AnD MYSELF! I wun allow myself to fall again. I will retain my glory once more. U can wait and see! No more mockings from those ......... people!
As for Geog, excepted that mark, i was just glad i passed it well... However, i dun except an A this time, wun be possible to get 40+ for my SS, just hoping i would at least get a B3. Really, degrading myself a lot this time round, i hope it is only coz our internal script is difficult. I pray that O level wun be such rough papers.
Awaiting the results for Chemistry paper, i hope maybe for science i can reach my target and remained as it is at A2.... So far, i only got my MAths that reached the target, one and only, sad... very sad... Hopefully, science would reach the target too. Somehow, i have a feeling that my position can no longer remained at 3rd. A premonition for MYE. Man, i hate this premonition. But, i hope miracle would appear and just let me stand at the place that i've had for such a long time, and the place that i strived so hard for... Please...
Seriously, i am a bit confused with all the results.. I dunnoe whether the one i'm holding is the final one that will be keyed into the report card. Only Chinese... I was wondering, how come i couldn't get an extra mark when some others can. A bit furious with it, i mean, come on, it's only a mark, it's not like they can't give it in compo or letter. Hai.. No point bargaining when the decision is out. I can only feel sad and disappointed and later strive harder...BAd exam.. I have only myself to blame. Honestly, i really didn't put in much effort into this mYE. But i did for CL!!! It came out making me cry! HAi...I almost broke down.... But then hold myself up and just console myself. Never mind, no more slacking le, gonna get everything together, and really focus on wad gotta be done. I will not let myself down anymore. I WILL NOT! I will get an A1 out of my CL O level, i will not retake, one shot and that's it, an A1, and i am determined to fight it all out with myself!!!!
As for the others, the holiday will be a good time to sharpen everything. Ok, enough of all the bitching, it's over. Dun wanna breed over it and get devastated...
Something happy, got 2 belated gifts from 3 friends, like i say, friends r the best when everything is crushing down. But not those arrogant ones!!! And i sort of got a bit Off at the end of the day and started to crap with Ping Hong a bit, he was like "wah lao!" And he kept on beating me today, wah lao, siao one lor! HAhA!
Back home, have an urge to go popular buy a book but then it was raining so i decided not to. Maybe tml? O ya, i still got my D&T not completed, i need an A2 for this sia... Tml will beg Miss lim to give me one more day to complete everything and for god sake, hope that i will at least get an A2 or better an A1 if i complete everything!!! Hope So!
k, from all this, i guess u should know i'm somebody who will get very bothered by my results and studies definitely is my 1st priority. So please dun mess with me, even my closest friends and dun blame me if i get nasty when i am doing work and u come bothering me coz i will get really mad... For now, i just hope everything will turn out fine. Especially my position... Hai... Fussing over it again... Dun talk le...
Hao.. tml will be another long day, CL p1 mock, i'm gonna treat this one serious, i dun wanna make myself disappointed anymore... At least a 50 /70, nothing lesser than 50! Or i might end up killing myself, Jk! I'm not so foolish... HeH!
Shut up and look at yourself! You are not any better! Stop all your mockery! Arrogance never bring you wealth but the loss of everything else! Bear in mind that I can always be better than you and I can also mock at you but that's my choice and I chose not to 'cause in my heart I know, that all this will just dampen your spirit and make u lost your soul. I am kind enough to let you off. Somehow, I am just a person who will be satisfied if you are just a normal person. I just felt sad 'cause you dampen my spirit on purpose, something someone whom I call friend shouldn't have done but u did it. Rest assure that the days of arrogance will not last 'cause I am determined to get my glory back and when that day comes, you can mock at me no more! My principle tells me, that I should not mock at anyone, so even if I have my glory, I will not show off to you and dampen that spirit of yours... -Sorry, i can't control myself-
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