Just wasn't enough

I spent an awesome weekend doing things I wanna do without getting tired out by my body or any mental stress. The year has just began and work hasn't piled up much.

Just when I ended a happy day with my Darling, I came home, took my bath and my ma told me how THEY felt that my bf was cheating my money, worse, cheating my MA's money too......... And it gets better, my brother has to come in and put a knife into everything.

Right. The 1st year with Eddie Hoo, had to do so much just to make my family believe he's real, and he's real towards me. And at the same time, I saw that he is real towards everything and know what kind of guy he really is. Since then, it was umpteen times of convincing others to see things from my shoes, to see things from his shoes and eventually, having people finally giving us their blessings, envy of this relationship, and accepting the fact that this is it.

What others say, it doesn't matter to me. What my family says, matter a lot. But they never know how much their words weigh and they just swing it across, expecting me to comprehend but most of the times, I had to swallow them hard and digest it. Even if I don't, i kept it to myself, tried so hard not to let anyone know.

After Eddie came out on his own, there were so much difficulties. I was WARNED not to use my name to do his business, we had to go through so much boundaries - the law, the venue, the money etc. But we were lucky, we met Amy, she helped unconditionally (k, perhaps to help her business too), and assist in so much. Even after that, Eddie had to work so hard, sometimes till 12am, just to earn enough to cover the rental, the products, the utilities, the insurance, the car, the bike, his family and himself. Its so freaking much, but he's still trying. So many times he wanted to just quit, give it up and let it go, but I kept persuading him to go on, to just give it another shot... It was so tough and it still is but I am ready to help whenever he needs it.

My mama started to see how hardworking he is, and starts to finally accepting him, and you know how much that meant to me? A lot.... So much more than life alone.

But... They have to come in and tell tales and start badmouthing the man I love, start giving him names, start accusing him... No... All those hard works he put in, I put in, its not worthy of your trust? NO?! Tell me, how much money is it worth to find someone you love, who is working so FUCKING hard just to LET all you FUCKING people see that HE IS WORTHY of ME! And please, for goodness sake, look at my family, HOW FUCKING RICH do you think you ARE to look down on someone who worked from SCRATCH to have what he has today?! NO, you do not have the right to say bad things to someone like that.

I'm sick to the stomach just thinking about how you discriminate him. No, I'm not blinded by love. I still know how to differentiate right from wrong, and I can see it with my own eyes how hard he works, and how stress he is....

He had a choice. He don't have to be so hardworking, he can just make-do with the measely pay he used to had, but he took 1 HUGE step just to prove to you that he is worthy of me....

"As you grow older, you see more. And those sweet little things become so unimportant...." How do you expect me to read that? To become materialistic??? No, I know my league. I know where I stand. I am not the best, I am just another girl who is Ok in her studies, who landed a good job, and fell in love with someone average. Its not money that I love, its him that I love.

I'm lucky, I have all the support from my friends, from ALL of my FRIENDS. But is that enough?

I told myself to ignore all the comments from you but sometimes, when it travels to my ear, I get chills. I'm so afraid of my family.... You dare not come straight to me and ask and understand, you had to make assumptions. You had to believe yourself more than me. Do you even know me? What? I only see you like 10 times or something a year? Do you EVEN know ME?!

No, you don't.

Its a pity... I dun need your blessing because I have all of them from my friends, I don't need it from you. And if my mother believes me, that's enough for me. Even if she decides not to, i'm fine with it too. I live my life, the way I want it to be.

Its been 4 years and it wasn't enough to prove anything to you. So be it. Its none of anyone's business. I'm happy the way I am.