A penny of thoughts

Here's the deal. Sudden realisation that i've been living too real a life. You know, back then, it used to be not so much about what will happen tomorrow, what are the things you need to buy and all... It was always, relax and live each day as you want it.

6 months into working life (minus the 1st 2months), i'm starting to feel what most adult would call, "real life", because when i wake up everyday, i will think about what will happen in the office, what e-mail should i be expecting, what must i get ready for the next day. Everyday, its 9am to 6pm, this time limit my movements, limit my thoughts. And yes, this is being in the "Real Life".

No time to lay down on my bed and switch on my favourite CDs, little time to watch dramas, frequet visits to movie kind of also diminished because when i do have time, i will spend it with people, real human beings, and not alone. Its kind of sad. I let myself down.

I stopped loving myself as much as before.

I find myself getting really tired after an entire day of work, and thinks bout nothing, but dinner, bath and bed. HA! Pathetic.

This new year doesn't seem like a new year anymore, its already March. My days away from home seems like i'm not even in this world. I would come back home feeling like it was like i just flew off. Come to think of it, i actually liked it. Because after work everyday, i don't have to think about where to go next, its back to hotel and rest. Going to a place where most people don't know you, you can do things which you dun have to worry about familiar people seeing it. Its all about myself.

My family is becoming bigger. My brothers are getting married soon. Not sure when but at least they have their partners confirmed and chop, everything seems to be happening so fast. I can't catch up anymore. Have i got my partner confirmed?

Too young, they say? I can't really be bothered about that. I just wanna be happy, really happy, and love myself bit more.

My stubborness never changed, it has never went away, i am always holding on to things, not wanting to let go. Because I believe in it. So far.... I haven't regret anything i held onto.

I am so tired now. I want to take a break.

Flying Spain in a week's time. In between excited and not excited. Life is coming to a halt again.

I can't stop myself... I can't stop the world...