A proper blog

Alright, it's time to have a good blog. It has been a while since i really sat down and write one proper blog, it's either cut-short or not written. Kind of fed up with my sickening writings, now that i'm free, i'm gonna write something out.

K, work has been really bad, bad since i began. Well, not much choice right? Since i've taken up the job, i gotta do it. Many times i wanna quit, and i naively thought i could, who knew that they'd not let me go. Well, so, day by day, week by week, its already a month or so, but i'm still holding the post. Ha! Probably i tried too hard to be good, i expect too much from myself, and i ended up doing it good, for the hotel, but for myself, it's still far from good. So, i'm struggling to do better when i couldn't go on anymore. Up to the extend that i've ignored my family, my life and my health. I complained a lot, but there were still a lot kept inside. I took many shortcuts but still, i can't catch up. At the very end, i realised, i cared too much. Look at the number of 'I's i used... However, none of the "I"s are for myself. I was told to act selfish, to be less considerate and think bout myself. Initially, i hesitated, but then, i began to think more... More about myself. It's afterall, my choice, whether to stay on, to work hard, to finish my job. So, i began to complain in the right way, do MY own job and stay out of other people's way so that they wun be in my way. Like how? Like this, i told myself not to do things that doesn't concern me, for eg, buy coffee. I wun do things which are out of my work duties, eg, "Refreshing rooms when it's not my job." I wun care bout others when i dun have time to, eg "I'm not free, dun ask me..." I dun care bout wad others think, let them feel that i'm selfish, self-centred, wadever, it's my life, y make it difficult just to please u? Go do it urself. It's ur job anyway, u r paid to do urs, like i'm paid to do mine, no excuses and that's the bottom line.

Having said all those, i was still tortured by my "partner". I'm doing almost everything while she's doing nothing. And basically coz i'm doing everything, that's y when anything goes wrong, it's, "APPLE do one..." Ha! Wad a sickening phrase to hear. So, i still end up being the Victim. Gosh... Up until recently, there's a change. However, challenges still lies there. Why? Pple ASSUMED i know everything... Pushed all responsibilities to the one who they ASSUMED to know everything, and of cos, that's me. Who knows? I dun really know everything coz some pple are just too lazy to finish teaching me everything... However, i still gets into trouble, even though it's not my fault when i dunnoe anything...

Seriously, i dun really like OHS like i liked it b4. Back then, i'd go to work happily, even when i'm damn tired, and i dun have any days off, i still went on, coz it used to be fun, challenging and the pple are all good. Now, some pple are different, new staff, new attitudes and i can't seem to fit in. I dun wish to fit in anymore, it sux to try so hard. With old friends, old colleagues, still can put up with them, still can play and work with. Yup, things move on, change for some reasons, nothing can remain as it is and still gain, it seems like nothing can be retained in this line, in some pple. I missed the pple that i used to work with... Well, face it, it's the real world.

I do cherish the different times i had in OHS, the pple that i met, the new friends that i can treasure... Sounds like i'm leaving and not coming back right? Hee~ Soon, i will be leaving. Leaving the post of banquet P/T coordinator, which i'm not really proud of and also, leaving the post of banquet waitress... Going back to become a Full-time student... BAck to work? See 1st bah... Let the rest of the days pass faster...

Ok, life at home is almost the same. Some bickerings here and there, some laughter once in a while and some breaking of stuff... HA! I love my home... SO MUCH!!!! I still want a room lor... So long le.. 2 years lor... Still, empty promises... I'm still waiting... HAHA!!! However, it doesn't really matter now, but 1 month later, it'll matter coz start school le, i want a larger table leh, this table is really too small and too low for me to work... Hai...

One of the best time i had this year was going to BSB's concert. It's really great to watch ur idols. 6 years ago, i was wondering when BSB would come to Sinagpore? In my heart, i hoped but i know for a fact that, there is a very low percentage that they would come coz Singapore is afterall, a really small market which they, as international singers dun really have to put any effort to promote here and also, we're like a small dot, i dun think they'll even notice it when reading the map. However, my dream came true. A long wait, for the 1st time, i saw them. All 5 of them, so close to me... But really, it is not about their looks or their style, it's bout their music. It not only turns me on, it drives me crazy and most of all, it soothes my soul. Y i love them even after so many years of Hiatus? Coz the Backstreet pride stays alive no matter where they are. And also, the music is always there... That's one of the best things that happened to me.

Chinese New year was a bit quiet for me this year. I dunnoe, probably coz of working, i didn't manage to shop with my parents and go squeeze in the crowd at Chinatown and couldn't get new year clothes... Just sad that i can't celebrate it like i used to. I wasn't excited bout the Hongbaos at all... I didn't took out and count exactly how much i got, i just sort them out and leave it there. Then, went back to work again. Hai...

Another thing that i'm happy bout was, i was able to go out with Ling Hui again. It feels weird intially to actually go out with her. Ha! Isn't it weird? 5 years ago, we hang out everyday together, and were once the best of friends. Well, u know, young pple do young things, some little conflicts came out coz of some basketball team guy or something and there goes the friendship. We spent 5 years in the same school, not actually talking to each other much. Until she graduated. I'm glad that we are, well, friends again, if not, the best of friends.

Not to forget, there's one more person, Xueting. She remains as my sister... hee~ Of cos, 10 years of friendship doesn't come easy... We did have our ups and downs together. Those juvenile times, let's just forget bout it. We share everything with each other now. Isn't it good to have friends or rather Sister like that? LoVe her...

Yuting... Nothing much changes... She is still the forgetful person.. But she has grown up... Now, she thinks much more than she usually did. That's good for her... Good for her... Still, she'll be my best friend, afterall, we walked home together almost everyday de hor... And she's the only one who'll sing Wu Ding and Chuang Wai with me... HAHA!!!

Suddenly thought of Billy. He's one person who i'll never forget. Y? Coz he used to be my schoolmate cum boyfriend cum friend cum colleague cum listener.. Hee~ Most importantly, he's the one who counted my O level results for me when i took my result slip to a corner to calm myself down. Hee~ He told me, "WAh lAO, 11 LEH!" I'm like, "Huh!? Then all leh?!" HAha!!! A friend who i never regret knowing...

Then comes Melissa, Aiying and Yuting... hee~ The 3some who works with me. Seriously, i dun really know how i actually can be so close to them... We clicked a lot in many aspects. They're a bunch of cool girls... And Yuting... HAha!!! When she 1st came to work, i was the one who taught her the stuff, when she became VIP server, i was the one who taught her too... hee~ Melissa, Love her too much to say anything, "I NOT STUPID 2" very nice hor... HAHA!!!( U wun understand unless u r Melissa, hee~) As for Aiying, they describe her as "AUNTY" and they got a very good reason for saying that... HAHA!!! Well, 1 year le... It has been a long time...

I can't forget another, BoH tEck Kor... Hee~ Working with him... Ermm... not exactly, working under him is a better way of saying. He's, well, the Captain, right? hee~ Working wise, always complained to him but always finish the job. He's one fast man. In life, he taught me a lot, a lot more that i expect would come out of a 21-year-old, turning 22 this year. Hee~ I respect him coz he's a respectable guy... HA!!! The line is drawn very clear between us.. Brother and sister... For always.. Chris should read this...

Christopher... Another guy who i respect. Dun wanna comment much bout him coz he's just a real caring guy. Will missed him after leaving...

Lau, a man full of principles... Although he doesn't show them much, in fact, it's always there... Ego of a man, i suppose...

Love life? Few confessions here and there but none touches me... lots of confessions from pple to my friends, ermm... Nothing much to say, it's all up to them. Dun be blinded by love pple... Look properly, seek slowly, ur one will come one day, surely... Nothing to rush... I'm still waiting for my one to come... Really... Take time to think, find, see, and feel then slowly fall in love, that is the best part...

Not to forget, i got my O level results only a few days ago... I'm still rejoicing over it... I've chosen my courses, and i'm waiting... :)

Well, those summed up my recent life... I'm still holding on... Wanting to give up, shut my door, and let things stop but this is life, nothing stops. Even if i shut the door, someone else will open the door. Even if i have a key, someone else will duplicate it... Life... Wad a misery yet joys lurks in it... SmiLe!!! At the end of the day, Apple remains as Apple, Ai Ping is still Ai Ping...

By the way, it's Valentine's Day.. Wishing everyone a HAPPY VALENTINES!!!!

Every ending is a New beginning...