Coming back... I'm calmer now... Ermm... Kind of thinking wad is my Sister thinking now... Lost in that path, stepping on that line, not on either side...
Hai... Thinking bout all the amazing things that happened this past year... Unreal, dramatic yet true... Well, if i can turn back time, where would i wanna stop? Is it when i was born? Or when i've awaken from a dream? or when i just stepped out of Primary school? And then it comes back to, i dun wish to turn back time, i dun wanna relive those tough moments... Cry again, laugh again... Nope, once is enough... More than enough.
Girls tend to be emotional? Probably... I was once emotionally involved in somebody. I was once emotionally involved in my family and i was once emotionally involved in friendship. Could it be any harder than losing someone who u thought something might come out of it? Hai... 4 years ago, my life was very dramatic... Extremely... When everything u see in movie happens to me... Devastated bout another girl for snatching your guy, then had to listen to her talking bout the relationship, then seeing yourself being misunderstood for something you didn't do. ALso, gotta faced your stuff being stolen, have to fight your way out of something but end up crying the out, having some unknown conflicts with somebody who would later become your sister... Then, falling out with people coz of some IRC guy. You know, then have to face to truth that your friends are gone but then having some new pple coming into your life. And there, things started to quiet down... No longer looking for too much, no more conflicts with friends, no matter how hard things were, one gulp and it's over. No more liking anyone, no matter how rumours went. For 3 years, my life was quiet, silent, it revolved around studies, food, tv, and sleeps... Didn't care bout my image, and not even worried that i would lost anything... Those were the days...
Within that time, i realised academically i can actually achieved that height. I never dreamt of that. I was an average student, never into the top 10... NEVER... And yet, something happened to my mind i guess, everything changed... Pple around me changed too... I wanted more, even when i dun think i can do it. I wanna be somebody i dream i would be. Can I?
FAlling in love? If everything can start all over again, i would choose to remain single till i have everything stable. Well, I still am... First love? Can i erase that part of my life and also the one that followed? I will... Please, if u know me, dun mention that part of me out, dun... I wanna bear hope in LOVE, i wanna find someone who i can wholeheartedly rely on... Those were the imperfection... Though i know nothing is perfect in this world but can i make it more beautiful than this ugly fact... Just take it as a bad dream i illustrated to you, just take it as a fictional story.. None of those were part of my life... Nope, they are not. Living in denial u may say but i just dun want to... It is not the right time now, but the breeze in the dark brought those thoughts here... LAstly, if i can really turn back time, i would like to just know u as u, the u who never told me u fancy me, the u that i never hesitate to touch... The u i call friend...( dun ask who)
Stepped into a strange world, meeting new pple... All these are just a cycle, inevitable... Now, these pple are all gonna leave. Very soon, the cycle will repeat, but i've grown up, everything are much clearer, i will miss all of them.. Really...
20 more days...
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